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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

That he should have bought me food too

125 replies

hungrybellynomnom · 16/07/2022 13:25

We both wake up, I always get a coffee in the morning, he isn't really bothered by coffee but I ask him and he says he doesn't want one.

I ask to borrow his car, he says no because of the petrol. This annoyed me as it's not a long drive and I top up the petrol occasionally. I say I'm off to get it and going to the gym after. I couldn't go to the gym as the whole road/pavement was blocked off, so I go back home. I see him in his car eating food looking shifty - he had gone out to get food. I was upset that he hadn't offered to get me any or even just call to find out. He switches it on me and says that he hadn't eaten since lunch yesterday and I hadn't offered to feed him, and as I was getting a coffee I wouldn't be hungry (makes no sense), and also that his head was really hurting him so he just had to go out immediately and his final reason was because I was going to the gym, I wouldn't be hungry...

I always consider him with food, always make him meals and if I know he's coming will make sure he's fed. Last night we were both hungry but it was too late to make food so we had snacks.

Aibu to feel hurt he didn't think of me and think he's quite selfish?!

OP posts:
VestPantsandSocks · 16/07/2022 13:27

Yes - he is selfish. Move on.

BronwenFrideswide · 16/07/2022 13:29

Everything you've written screams shit relationship.

DoingJustFine · 16/07/2022 13:30

Why was he eating in his car??

I wouldn't have bought someone food while they were in the gym, I don't think? But this whole situation sounds dramatic and slightly odd (why didn't you eat last night?) so I think it's probably not a love affair that they'll write songs about in the future.

justfiveminutes · 16/07/2022 13:30

So did you come back an hour early because you changed your mind about the gym? Because I can kind of see why he might get breakfast but not ask you because you were out.

But his mean behaviour about the petrol would be a deal breaker for me.

Runningdownthehill22 · 16/07/2022 13:30

I bet he was gutted you caught him out. He was definitely making sure he didn’t get you anything so yes he was being mean.

BigSandyBalls2015 · 16/07/2022 13:30

He thought you were at the gym though?

drpet49 · 16/07/2022 13:31

Why would he buy you food when you were at the gym????

justfiveminutes · 16/07/2022 13:31

You went for coffee so would have picked up something to eat if you were hungry wouldn't you?

crabbitmaw · 16/07/2022 13:32

He said no to you using his car because he knew he was going to need his car to go get HIMSELF food. Dump him.

coffeecupsandfairylights · 16/07/2022 13:33

I don't understand why he'd offer to get you food when you weren't home in the first place?

MarmiteCoriander · 16/07/2022 13:34

You both sound as bonkers as each other!!!

Borrow HIS car, I top is up OCCASSIONALLY! I'm assuming this is a very new relationship?

I don't understand if you took his car to the gym, but the road was blocked, so you drove back- how could he then be sitting in the car eating???

MarmiteCoriander · 16/07/2022 13:35

Also, if someone was at the gym, no, I wouldnt buy food for them!

girlmom21 · 16/07/2022 13:36

I wouldn't buy you food if I thought you were at the gym.

Mally100 · 16/07/2022 13:36

drpet49 · 16/07/2022 13:31

Why would he buy you food when you were at the gym????

This??

chiffchaffchiff · 16/07/2022 13:37

If my DH went out to get a coffee and go to the gym I'd expect him to buy his own food if he was hungry. Based on him eating in the car I assume it was something like Costa... why would you buy extra for someone you don't expect to be home? It just sounds strange.

Sirzy · 16/07/2022 13:37

If you weren’t home and he didn’t know you were going to be back early then why wouldn’t he just feed himself?

JackieCollinshasnoauthority · 16/07/2022 13:38

Yeah, time to find a new flat mate I guess.

user1471457751 · 16/07/2022 13:39

Whose car did you take to the gym if he was sitting in his car eating when you came back? If you have a car, why did you try to use his?

WeAreBob · 16/07/2022 13:40

But you went out? You were going for coffee and to the gym. Why would he ask if you wanted brealftqs bought for you?

I'm guessing it is your house and he came over to visit? And hadn't had any dinner but you just had snacks. So, he woke up this morning and wanted breakfast, you went out for coffee and to the gym and he went for breakfast.

And your mad he disnt get you food. You weren't even going to be at home!!

Grow up and buy some food to keep in your house. Do you not have any coffee or food at home?

Sapphirejane · 16/07/2022 13:40

The relationship doesn’t sound too serious but it sounds like hard work already. I’d move on.

DDivaStar · 16/07/2022 13:41

You don't seem to have a very easy relationship.....

You wanted to borrow the car but he didn't want to have to replace petrol and wanted to use the car, that's ok after all it is his car.

You were both hungry last night but it was too late. Both of you are adults and could have at some point, if you wanted to go a supermarket or call a takeaway.

You went to the gym and he went to get food as he was hungry. OK so he could have got something for lunch or dinner but if you've gone for coffee and the gym you'd most likely get whatever food you wanted this morning.

It all sounds quite hard work tbh do you analyse every day like this ?

WeAreBob · 16/07/2022 13:42

Sirzy · 16/07/2022 13:37

If you weren’t home and he didn’t know you were going to be back early then why wouldn’t he just feed himself?

He did feed himself. That his why the OP is mad. She said she was going out so he went and got his own breakfast. She came home unexpectedly and is angry he didnt have food for her too. It's insane.

VerifiedBot2351 · 16/07/2022 13:43

But you were to there to buy food for. You sound like hard work to me.

Hotenoughtoburnasausage · 16/07/2022 13:44

He sounds a tight arse op.
Ltb.

Allinadayswork80 · 16/07/2022 13:46

This makes no sense! Why would he buy you food if he thought you were going to the gym? How was he sitting in his car when you said you went out in it?
What?!