To be resentful that my DP spends an hour a day sat on the toilet?

[BumCakes2021]

As the title suggests

Morning routine I end up having to dress myself, my DD, feed the cats and dog, prepare breakfast and put together lunch things all while DP is sat on the toilet.

Then he spends another half hour in there every evening. He's actually been in there almost an hour this evening because he was having a shower too.

He has always been like this, but now we have a child it makes me mad.

AIBU?

Is he reading on the loo? And waiting for the magic fairies to have done all the chores? Tell him to get up half an hour earlier and help out.

YANBU . He'll deserve the piles he gets.

right, well ruling out any actual physical issue, he's obviously just using it as a more acceptable option than sitting on the sofa with a mug of tea in his hand while you do everything. In theory, he's "busy" with something absolutely, undeniably necessary. I can only suggest that you beat him to it one morning. Just go in there, lock the door and tell him he needs to sort DD because you've suddenly realised you have the same need as him.

'He's always been like this'.... to be honest that's your answer, I cannot imagine wanting to have sex with, let alone have a baby, with a man who spends up to an hour in the toilet. Did you honestly not realise that that sort of behaviour is very ... odd (assuming no medical issues)? From his point of view he is behaving in exactly the same way that he always has ...so why is it a surprise to you?

You need equal leisure time. Assuming this is a preference on how he spends his free time, and not a medical issue, effectively doing loooong shits and showers is his hobby.

The good news is, that's 14 hours a week that you get completely to yourself to spend how you wish. You need to claim the entire Saturday or sunday as your own, with the other day (excluding his hobby time) as family time.

what does he do in there does he have stomach problems or urinating problems I know a few men who genuinely need to stay there for long periods of time

You need to get tough. My ds's would sit there an hour. They get told crudely if it isn't hanging out they don't need a shit!

You need to spend an hour on the toilet. Perhaps at the weekend when he’s not working, leaving him with the baby. See what he thinks then.

Fine. There is a chunk of things waiting for him when he comes out. I'd make the point me.

Exactly. Run a bath, take your phone and some magazines in. Make a morning of it.

Tell him not to take his phone in - that'll speed things up.

This. ^ Sorry @BumCakes2021 but your DP sounds repugnant. Why the F did you have a child with him? Seriously!

If I were you I'd fuck off out when he goes for his marathon toilet visit next time, and don't say goodbye. I would not be tolerating this. WTF is he doing in the shitter for an HOUR FGS?

I sometimes get distracted , when on the loo, with e.g. Mumsnet

He's wanking

ewww.

@middleofthelittle that was my first thought. Why you have accepted this by default is just wrong.

My exh used to do this to avoid engaging in family life. It's quite ridiculous that we can push out babies in less time than these lazy, avoidant men take to squeeze out their ghost poos.

Mine does this but only after he’s done all his jobs so I don’t mind.

I find accidentally knocking the WiFi off works wonders.

Me exH did this..turned out he was mostly watching porn.

Turn the WiFi off.

Stand outside the bathroom door talking to him for the entire time he's in there. I've also taken to wandering in while he's doing whatever he's doing in there. No bathroom locks in this house

I mean he's obviously going there to escape for a while. What would he do if you did the same?

There’s a certain kind of man who poos in order to shirk household duties. There was a thread about it a few years ago. It’s a thing.

I do this. It's not to get out of responsibilities or anything but sometimes after work I just want to sit and poo watching some YouTube vids.
On a good day I have a quick shit and it's done with, on a bad day I'm there for an hour with nothing but a fart to show.

Sorry

This. I could swear my DS goes in there, sits down and waits til he needs a jobby