To be resentful that my DP spends an hour a day sat on the toilet?

[BumCakes2021]

As the title suggests

Morning routine I end up having to dress myself, my DD, feed the cats and dog, prepare breakfast and put together lunch things all while DP is sat on the toilet.

Then he spends another half hour in there every evening. He's actually been in there almost an hour this evening because he was having a shower too.

He has always been like this, but now we have a child it makes me mad.

AIBU?

Have you spoken to him about it? If he genuinely needs to sit on the toilet for an hour he needs to get up an hour earlier so he can do his share of parenting in the morning.

Taking Digital devices to the loo is a bit rank

DP is 30 mins 3 times a day. Minimum. Drives me insane.

Bang on the door

“oi, shitty arse … I’m off out, kids need feeding, see you later”

It's ridiculous. I timed the other day from leaving my desk to coming back to my desk. Including washing my hands obviously and I was away for 3 mins and 4 seconds
If I was 30 mins my boss would be WTF

I’d insist he went to the doctors. Keep telling him that there must be something very wrong and he needs to get it checked out.

If that doesn’t change him then wifi off.

I can only suggest that you beat him to it one morning. Just go in there, lock the door and tell him he needs to sort DD because you've suddenly realised you have the same need as him

^^ Definitely this!

Does he have toilet problems? In which case pester him to see a doctor.

Slip some senna in his meals.

So you are getting out or responsibilities by watching YouTube videos on the toilet pretending to poo?

Does he fuck.
He’s just deliberately shirking.
I wouldn’t even turn the Wi-Fi off (though it’s not a bad idea) instead before he even went in there I’d say to not even get the idea into his head today - or any future day. Time to tell him you won’t put up with it - and mean it.

I totally get you OP. My DP does this too. Before he gets up to go to the loo, he makes awkward chat with me then offers me a cup of tea and I just know he's fucking off for an hour and leaving me to deal with the DC. And now the offer of a cup of tea makes me see rage. Because I can't sit enjoying a cup of tea when I'm left trying to sort two tiny children. Git.

Tell him to do it on work time.

I’d go one further and slip a few dulcolax in his meals. He’ll be shitting through the eye of a needle in no time. He’ll still be on the bog for hours but at least you’d know it was genuine and let’s face it, it would be a laugh

He’s ESCAPING.
And doubtless w&nking.
Does he take his phone in there?

Get an ejector seat timed to go off after 5 mins.

Men commonly lurk in loos at home as an Escape.

Why are people saying turn the wifi off? Do none of you have data on your phones?
An hour a morning is ridiculous - and who is wanking for an HOUR?!
Dh is usually 30 minutes for bathroom business in the morning, I’m about 15 minutes but genuinely I’d be annoyed if he was an hour in the family bathroom as I need to get myself and ds ready for work/school so rely on him getting ready and fucking off to work for our routine to work!

He absolutely is.

Absofruitly not

I hate to say this, but it's quite common, tbh. My DH can spend a good 30 minutes on the loo, and I've been making fun of him about it for years, now our teenagers do too.

I know he's on Twitter, but he also claims it takes him forever to do a big job...and I have to admit that I know he definitely does, as we all avoid the bathroom for a while after he's had one of those long sessions. 😂

This always makes me laugh ruefully.

DD1 - wasn't ever coming out without vertical extraction.
DD2 - 14 hours and required ventouse and a set of forceps.

Longest time between successful bathroom visits - about 19 days, by which time, I was sweating, puking and in constant pain. NHS involvement was 'Oh dear, have you thought about buying some Dulcolax or have you considered the possibility that you might be depressed?'.

I never begrudge anybody shitting time because I know that for some people if it doesn't get to come out when it wants to, at the speed at which it wants to, it's going to sulk and stay there for days.

Undiagnosed celiac and EDS gut going on strike is a bastard.

It's not that odd, lots of men spend more time sitting on the toilet than it actually takes to shit. Even single ones who haven't got wives and children to hide from.

My OH does this but not just morning and night. He also does it as soon as he’s finished eating anything. Literally the second he’s put his plate in the kitchen he proclaims
hes off for a pee and returns an hour later. He’s not wanking cos he stinks the house out. He can finish quicker than an hour but doesn’t often unless chased. I used to send him lots
of anti-wank gifs, things that would put him off his stroke so to speak but it turns out he literally is full of shit and is not some kind of wanking machine.

Annoys me no end but we have no space for a second loo. Was tempted to send him to the bottom with the garden with a bucket.

Taking a phone to the toilet is disgustingly unhygienic.

Anyone taking more than a few minutes to poo needs to seriously overhaul their diet and if that doesn't work, see the GP. It's just not normal.

Lol this is my husband. He has a whole 'regime' . He has his breakfast. Then he disappears to do his morning poo. It takes 15 mins more or less. I have no idea how it can take 15 mins to do a poo. It takes me 30secs. He then has a shave and a shower. Woe betide anyone who interrupts this routine. It has really only bugged me since kids and going through 2 lots of maternity leave where I could go 3 days without a shower and forget if I had brushed my teeth.

It's a thing. My dh does it. But not to escape housework. It's the bloody Internet. When he forgets his phone he is in and out in 2 minutes. If I turn the WiFi off his phone data kicks in. I moan about it but time escapes him that he thinks he is only in there 10 minutes. I now walk I'm and out as I please to do my teeth etc because I'm fed up with waiting. I send kids in and out too to prove a point. But Instagram, facebook and tiktok have rotted his brain so that all time has warped.