Neighbour constantly throwing food out to birds and now one shit on my baby

[Saausage]

A bird, not a neighbour for the last part.

AIBU here? My neighbour constantly throws food out to the birds, anything goes. I’m fed up with it,

YABU OP but I imagine you'll never accept you are.

So it was your neighbours fault that a bird shit on your baby?
I really don't know what to say tbh.

And their cat shits on my freshly laid faux grass.

🙄🙄🙄

If you moved house because the neighbour feeds birds I doubt you’ll be happy anywhere. YAB totally daft.

Ahhh you're no into nature. Makes more sense now you've mentioned the 'faux grass'. Or you're making this all up.

It's not like he commanded the birds to poo on your baby. Birds poo, it's what they do. Him feeding them is neither here nor there as they'd be pooing anyway.

Could you put your baby under an umbrella if you go outside and there’s lots of birds around? It’s good to feed the birds but they do poop! If you’re lucky enough to be by the coast then seagulls can be a pain and it’d be good if your neighbour put up smaller feed stations.

Nonsense. A lot of people think they're helping, by e.g throwing food outside their door or feeding urban foxes, but it either encourages vermin or habituates wildlife to humans which ends up with them getting killed.

‘when there’s lots of birds around?’

Neighbour constantly throwing food out to birds and now one shit on my baby

Oh dear.
I expect that made you feel faux lawn

10/10 👏

As you go through life you learn to deal with shit without whining about it.

OP, you're operating under the mistaken belief that if somehow your neighbour stopped feeding the birds, they would never have defecated on your baby.

EPIC!

There are usually lots of birds around even if there's no feeding frenzy going on.

It's actually quite unlucky to be hit by falling bird poo, so the chances of it happening again are very, very slim OP. It's only ever happened to me once, walking across a park.

Oh you had me up until this point.

I mean unlucky in the sense of unlikely. Yes, it is supposed to be lucky to be hit by bird poo.

And their cat shits on my freshly laid faux grass

Cats can be horribly judgemental about poor taste.

The two are not related. If you baby had been bitten by a rat or picked up a dead mouse, then they might be.

@SavoirFlair

Of course there is a causal link. Birds are more likely to flock to where there is food so they are more likely to shit on the poor OP's baby if there are more birds.

I used to see squirrels running along my fence all the time until I got a new neighbour who no longer left monkey nuts out.

I was always told that was lucky!

Surely that's a lucky omen, random shite on random baby has to mean something.

I snorted.

As can some people on Mumsnet.

Can I be the first to call reverse?