74 year old man, 26 year old vulnerable woman with learning disabilities

[SENmum22]

Nc for this.

I use TikTok and I've just come across an account on the home page which belongs to a married couple. The husband is 74 and the wife is 26 and has quite a significant learning disability.

They have a video up talking about how they met, the blokes daughter (who appears to have some special needs herself) brought her friend round three years ago (the now-wife) and asked if her dad would let her stay as she didn't want to go home.

Long story short they're now married and the wife has moved her younger sisters in with the bloke aswell, they also appear to have LD's.

The bloke claims that helping people with LD's has been his life's work. If so, he knows exactly how vulnerable they are and should know not to cross certain lines.

Overall the wife is an adult by law but intellectually she isnt and as the parent of a child with special needs the whole thing raises alarm bells for me and makes me feel incredibly uncomfortable. The power imbalance is huge and they can't have anything in common.

I'm not sure if I'm allowed to give the account name so I won't, but it's not difficult to find.

AIBU to think he is an exploitative old git?

Sorry just seen your previous reply.

That definitely sounds like a situation where a vulnerable person is being taken advantage of. I don't think I've seen the account before, could you possibly PM me too please?

Ah I see ,
Thank You

Makes it somewhat more disturbing in my opinion .

You’d think with that many women/young people with learning disabilities living in one property there’d have to be on the radar of some SG professionals. Where where the siblings living before? Where are the parents of these girls?

If no parents involved and the siblings have transitioned from long term LA care into living “independently” in this house then someone would have had to have been involved in that.

It is Oddcouple19

Apparently it's OK to post on here, I just didn't want to get into bother with MNHQ as I wasn't sure it was allowed but it appears it is 😊

Thank you @SENmum22 just going to look now.

I don't know.

From what he says in the videos his wife (J) moved in with him as she "didn't want to go home"

I took that to mean her parents house but I could be wrong. Surely if they were in some sort of supported care then social services would be all over this?

I think it would be very unwise to give the account name on here. If you are concerned I agree with contacting Social Services. But it does sound worrying.

Would someone mind pm me too pls

I do think social services need to be made aware if they're not already, but I don't know what part of the country they're from so I wouldn't know where to begin reporting

What exactly do you mean by "vulnerable"? Having learning needs and being childish doesn't automatically mean that someone lacks capacity. Unless there is more to this than you are saying, you are just assuming that this person lacks capacity and that is extremely offensive and belittling.

His daughter Karina’s account is easy to find if you search the couples account name and then Karina, she’s got many more posts so there’s perhaps some clues on there about geographical location, that might aid in reporting.

Go and have a look and then come back and suggest I'm belittling.

He has a house full of vulnerable females living with him, some of which are clearly not adults.

Brilliant thank you, I'll have a look.

It’s tiktok. It’s already a public account. They have 50000 followers, so clearly they’re not after privacy.

And knowing what I know about tiktok not all comments will be positive.

Yes they have over 50000 followers and the account is ran by him

Yes I saw this. Made me feel a rather sick tbh. Surely she must have family or someone looking out for her?!

Are you sure these people are even real? I.e. could they be pretending to be such a couple to essentially belittle the learning disabled?

There are some disturbed and sick fuckers on tiktok. Wouldn’t surprise me in the slightest if it was all faked.

Just had a look through his daughters TikTok’s, there’s one from Feb this year where she’s done a slideshow of photos of her Mum, who seems to have passed away. That poor woman, thank god she doesn’t have to bear witness to what her husband is up to 🤮

I'm pretty sure they're a real married couple, in some of the videos you can see pictures on the wall in the background of them looking very much like a married couple

I agree, it doesn't sit right with me either.

Unfortunately, the bar to prove lack of mental capacity is set quite high. Sometimes people will have a/multiple learning disabilities but be deemed to have the mental capacity. You can't do anything about poor decision making, which is what I was told repeatedly when I reported an adult who was an increasing risk to himself, to SS.

If there is someone underage and you are concerned about them or someone who does not seem to have the capacity, that would be the issue that you need to focus on first and report. Financial abuse is also something to be wary of but you probably can't tell that from online content.

I’ve seen the videos now, I feel the social services, etc definitely need to get involved, especially with that number of vulnerable people living in their house. The videos are disturbing certainly

oh jesus, how do they have so many views?

Oh I pmed you, but already have the link. thanks.

Agree. Why are people people quixk to defend these people 🙄