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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

74 year old man, 26 year old vulnerable woman with learning disabilities

169 replies

SENmum22 · 15/06/2022 12:52

Nc for this.

I use TikTok and I've just come across an account on the home page which belongs to a married couple. The husband is 74 and the wife is 26 and has quite a significant learning disability.

They have a video up talking about how they met, the blokes daughter (who appears to have some special needs herself) brought her friend round three years ago (the now-wife) and asked if her dad would let her stay as she didn't want to go home.

Long story short they're now married and the wife has moved her younger sisters in with the bloke aswell, they also appear to have LD's.

The bloke claims that helping people with LD's has been his life's work. If so, he knows exactly how vulnerable they are and should know not to cross certain lines.

Overall the wife is an adult by law but intellectually she isnt and as the parent of a child with special needs the whole thing raises alarm bells for me and makes me feel incredibly uncomfortable. The power imbalance is huge and they can't have anything in common.

I'm not sure if I'm allowed to give the account name so I won't, but it's not difficult to find.

AIBU to think he is an exploitative old git?

OP posts:
Stath · 15/06/2022 13:32

Can you please PM me too @SENmum22

Original poster
SENmum22 · 15/06/2022 13:35

I've PM'd you both.

Is there any social workers / HCP's around who would be able to shed any light on whether it would warrant an investigation?

OP posts:
VapeVamp12 · 15/06/2022 13:37

Sorry to be a pain, can you please PM me too?

Trinity65 · 15/06/2022 13:38

Hi
Could you PM me it please ?
I have a relative with SN and would like to see what is going on on these Tik Toks .

Original poster
SENmum22 · 15/06/2022 13:39

PM's sent. No problem at all.

The more people who are aware of it/him the better IMO.

OP posts:
MayMoveMayNot · 15/06/2022 13:42

Could you pm me too please?

MelonMojito · 15/06/2022 13:44

Can you PM me too please?

Original poster
SENmum22 · 15/06/2022 13:47

Done

Anybody else feel free to PM me and I'll paste it across. It's a bit quicker than me going through individual names.

OP posts:
Trinity65 · 15/06/2022 13:48

Its very strange to Me
She definitely has some kind of Special Needs the Young Lady
I found the video of her in a that little Disney character dress, sort of dancing with him, quite disturbing quite frankly and not totally sure why .

ShabbyNat · 15/06/2022 13:49

Hi could you PM me too please??

MrsSpoon78 · 15/06/2022 13:51

Can you pm me too @SENmum22 ?

Thank you

FormerAupair · 15/06/2022 13:51

Please could I have a PM too? As a young woman with a disability, this makes me sick

picklemewalnuts · 15/06/2022 13:52

OP has asked you to pm her, so she can reply.
It's a big job to remember everyone's names to pm them.

moreyoudoknow · 15/06/2022 13:54

You don't have to keep sending PMs OP. It isn't against guidelines to post who they are

Original poster
SENmum22 · 15/06/2022 13:55

PM's sent

The video of him dancing with the girl in the Disney dress, that's his wife's little sister who is also living with them.

His wife is the one with short hair who he is doing a role play video with about using his bank card.

OP posts:
SingingSands · 15/06/2022 13:55

I think I saw this last week and yes, it made me very uncomfortable and he's quite obviously taking advantage.

Original poster
SENmum22 · 15/06/2022 13:55

moreyoudoknow · 15/06/2022 13:54

You don't have to keep sending PMs OP. It isn't against guidelines to post who they are

Ahhh OK thats great. I didn't want to be banned.

In that case the account is Oddcouple19

OP posts:
Irishfarmer · 15/06/2022 13:57

I don't want to watch it sounds disturbing enough!

Original poster
SENmum22 · 15/06/2022 13:59

SingingSands · 15/06/2022 13:55

I think I saw this last week and yes, it made me very uncomfortable and he's quite obviously taking advantage.

I agree.

I wonder if the girls parents are vulnerable themselves, hence being ok with them going there. Having three children with LD's it seems like a possibility.

If they were my daughters I would be doing everything I could to keep them away from him.

OP posts:
AlternativePerspective · 15/06/2022 14:00

I don’t do tiktok but I don’t see why you can’t say the name here. Tiktok is a public platform after all and it’s not as if you’re releasing people’s details which aren’t already out there.

That aside, I think a 74 year old with a 26 year old is a disgusting old perve regardless, but if the woman is vulnerable then there is clearly a power imbalance there.

Sadly though as she’s an adult there is very little that anyone would be able to do.

Lanawashington · 15/06/2022 14:01

In the first video they posted, she looks like she really does not want to be there

TraceyLacey · 15/06/2022 14:02

The over explaining and all the kissing is very weird. Why didn't she want to go home, when she ended up moving in with him? I'd be so worried if I was her parents.

Original poster
SENmum22 · 15/06/2022 14:02

The account is Oddcouple19

They have over 50,000 followers so very much out there in the public domain.

OP posts:
Geordielass1987 · 15/06/2022 14:04

Could you pm me too please I can’t work out how to pm you. Thank you xx

Original poster
SENmum22 · 15/06/2022 14:04

TraceyLacey · 15/06/2022 14:02

The over explaining and all the kissing is very weird. Why didn't she want to go home, when she ended up moving in with him? I'd be so worried if I was her parents.

Indeed. Their videos raise more questions than they answer. He has obviously deleted a ton of comments.

OP posts: