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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask for my own room on hen do..

115 replies

SuziSecondLaw · 31/05/2022 22:07

I'm going to a hen do in a month's time, it's for 3 nights but have said I'll just go for 1 (I still paid in full though!).
Nothing has been mentioned about sleeping arrangements, but I know that there are only 3 rooms with a single bed, the rest are double or twin, so most (the other 15) will be sharing.

Bride to be is my oldest friend, but I'm an introvert.. I know most of the rest of the hens and am friendly with a couple. I'm very anxious in general, and I don't cope well in social situations.

Anyway, I'm so scared of having to share a room (I know it's completely ridiculous, but the thought of it makes me incredibly anxious). Regardless of who with really.

We're all meeting up on Friday to discuss final plans etc. Is there any polite way of asking for a single room to myself? I don't want to make a scene or draw attention to myself at all.. But I'm genuinely considering making something up and not going because I'm scared of turning up and being allocated a shared room.. Which would really be a shame, because the rest sounds like great fun!

Any advice? Am I being really pathetic? 🤦🏻‍♀️

OP posts:
Findahouse21 · 31/05/2022 22:09

Can you offer to pay a little more for the benefit of a single room? Might make it an easier request

Imissmoominmama · 31/05/2022 22:09

Tell them you’re worried because you snore really loudly and you don’t want to annoy anyone…

itsgettingweird · 31/05/2022 22:09

Of course your not being pathetic.

Just say you really struggle sharing and would like a single room. Then say your happy to change bedding so someone else can have it for the 2 nights you aren't there.

emsyj37 · 31/05/2022 22:10

Tell them you snore like a drill/talk in your sleep so can you have a single room?

Regularmumnetter · 31/05/2022 22:10

I mean if you say your paying for the single room then I’m sure it’ll be fine

Imissmoominmama · 31/05/2022 22:10

Honestly though- you’re paying for three nights, but only staying for one. They should let you sleep wherever you like!!

SpongeBobJudgeyPants · 31/05/2022 22:10

Can you bear to say you snore like a pig and it would be better for other people?

Speakuptomakeyourselfheard · 31/05/2022 22:11

You're not being pathetic OP, lots of people, including me, wouldn't necessarily want to share a room, even if you know the other person really well. As long as you're prepared to pay any necessary single room supplement, then it shouldn't be a problem, and to save face, if you feel the need, just tell them that you snore absolutely terribly, so wouldn't want to inflict that on another person. Don't let this issue spoil what should be a fun event.

BattenburgDonkey · 31/05/2022 22:11

Can u speak to the person organising it all before then to see what they think? I think it depends entirely on the people, obviously you’ve paid the same as the others so theres no reason you shouldn’t request a room, but I can also see there’s a potential for them to not want to allocate you a room that will be empty for 2 out of the 3 nights if someone else also doesn’t want to share.

BattenburgDonkey · 31/05/2022 22:12

Oh and I don’t think it’s pathetic at all! Just
you may get a mixed response depending on those going and their preferences.

BluebellField · 31/05/2022 22:12

You have already paid for three nights and are only going for one. Not sure why you would do that...I wouldn't.

Just say during this meeting that you would like your own room. The single rooms are going to be used by people so I don't see why it can't be you. Just be honest, you like to have some space.

mumto2teenagers · 31/05/2022 22:12

Could you speak to the bride before you meet to discuss the plans and explain how you feel to her.

WooNoodle · 31/05/2022 22:16

Thing is I imagine there may be other people also worrying about this OP. Imo it's a silly thing not to have checked before booming the venue as if they are anything like me and my friends we would all be wanting the single rooms for the same reasons!

Misty999 · 31/05/2022 22:17

Agree with previous Poster tell them you snore really badly.

WTF475878237NC · 31/05/2022 22:21

I recently organised a hen do with another woman I don't know well. She thought that it would be acceptable to expect the 12 guests to share double beds, let alone rooms, and not even mention it to people before they committed. I got my way and needless to say, some people dropped out. Who wants to share double beds with random people?! Crazy. In my younger years I would have happily shared beds with friends and now would share twin rooms though.

I think just be honest.

teaandtoastwithmarmite · 31/05/2022 22:21

Are you the one who posted saying you snore and was worried about that

Notaneffingcockerspaniel · 31/05/2022 22:25

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn at the poster's request.

SarahSissions · 31/05/2022 22:27

I’d probably just go “I’d really like my own room, so can I bring 6 bottles of wine as a thank you” preempt it and offer out a gift so they can’t say no.

Original poster
SuziSecondLaw · 31/05/2022 22:29

I don't snore. I just really struggle to sleep, if I feel even slightly anxious there's no way I sleep. I'm always anxious around people, even friends.. So it's a tricky one!

It's all a surprise for bride, so can't speak to her. I could always speak to the MOH but she's a bit ditsy and probably won't understand.

I feel like I'll just have to ask when we all get together.. But how do I even bring it up? Just imagining myself saying 'ahem, stop all your excited chatter a moment whilst I ask a really awkward favour' I 🤦🏻‍♀️is so embarrassing..
obviously not like that, but you know what I mean!

OP posts:
TheOccupier · 31/05/2022 22:30

God, as someone who has organised many hen dos and is out of patience with other people's social anxiety, fussy eating or whatever, you sound high-maintenance. Why didn't you just tell them to leave you out of the accommodation and book yourself a single room for the night you'll be there? Would probably work out cheaper anyway. With a month to go you can probably still do it, just email whoever's booked the hotel and offer to sort it out with the venue directly to save them the hassle.

godmum56 · 31/05/2022 22:32

I think i would have raised the single room thing much earlier before I had coughed up for the trip.....I don't do room sharing let alone bed sharing and never have. unless I am on a promise.

godmum56 · 31/05/2022 22:33

wow how did I do that? is everyone else seeing my post huge?

Original poster
SuziSecondLaw · 31/05/2022 22:33

TheOccupier · 31/05/2022 22:30

God, as someone who has organised many hen dos and is out of patience with other people's social anxiety, fussy eating or whatever, you sound high-maintenance. Why didn't you just tell them to leave you out of the accommodation and book yourself a single room for the night you'll be there? Would probably work out cheaper anyway. With a month to go you can probably still do it, just email whoever's booked the hotel and offer to sort it out with the venue directly to save them the hassle.

The accommodation is three self catering cottages. I couldn't book a room.

Sorry that you're out of patience with social anxiety.. Trust me, nobody is more fed up of it than I am. Its not a choice.

OP posts:
SweetSakura · 31/05/2022 22:36

I bet pretty much everyone in the group will have a reason why they feel they deserve a single room.

Why didn't you raise this before booking?

nearlyspringyay · 31/05/2022 22:37

You've paid in full but only staying for one, I think it's a fair trade off that you get a single for a night.

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