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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To ask for my own room on hen do..

115 replies

SuziSecondLaw · 31/05/2022 22:07

I'm going to a hen do in a month's time, it's for 3 nights but have said I'll just go for 1 (I still paid in full though!).
Nothing has been mentioned about sleeping arrangements, but I know that there are only 3 rooms with a single bed, the rest are double or twin, so most (the other 15) will be sharing.

Bride to be is my oldest friend, but I'm an introvert.. I know most of the rest of the hens and am friendly with a couple. I'm very anxious in general, and I don't cope well in social situations.

Anyway, I'm so scared of having to share a room (I know it's completely ridiculous, but the thought of it makes me incredibly anxious). Regardless of who with really.

We're all meeting up on Friday to discuss final plans etc. Is there any polite way of asking for a single room to myself? I don't want to make a scene or draw attention to myself at all.. But I'm genuinely considering making something up and not going because I'm scared of turning up and being allocated a shared room.. Which would really be a shame, because the rest sounds like great fun!

Any advice? Am I being really pathetic? 🤦🏻‍♀️

OP posts:

Stellamar · 01/06/2022 09:52

Ah sorry just seen your update! Happy days then! Glad you got it sorted

GlitteryGreen · 01/06/2022 10:12

I think if there are 3 single rooms then there would probably be no issue with you asking to use one, assuming you're going for the first night?

It would be more awkward if the one night you are staying is in the middle of the break as you can't fairly expect someone to move out of the room to let you have it.

I'd contact the Maid of Honour and just be honest with her.

zingally · 01/06/2022 10:17

You're not being pathetic OP.

While I happily shared rooms with mates on holidays and the like when we were teenagers and in our 20s. Now we're in our late 30s, it really wouldn't appeal! I think everyone secretly at least, likes some space to themselves at the end of a "busy being social" day!

namechangeanonymous · 01/06/2022 10:27

I think you deserve the single room and shouldn't pay anything extra to supplement it, you've paid for three nights even though your stopping for one you would have been within your rights to pay 34,% of the cost per person and everybody else's increase but you was kind enough not to do that so you deserve some extra comfort.
Personally I'll never share a room if I can avoid it, I'm too old have the money not to and I don't like it.

Tiredmum100 · 01/06/2022 10:35

Just reading your thread op. Glad it worked out for you.

elevenspowers · 01/06/2022 10:52

TheNoteIsEternal · 01/06/2022 00:21

But if you only stay one night, that room will be empty the other two nights, presuming people don't want to share bedding. I don't think it's fair to ask others to share for 3 nights so that you can have a room to yourself for one.

Do people not have the ability to move into an empty room once she’s left then?

elevenspowers · 01/06/2022 10:55

SixteenTwelve · 01/06/2022 07:54

Op I relate to this. I have been invited on a hen do abroad next year and nothing has been arranged yet but I am already having an internal paddy about possibly sharing a room. I just feel like I NEED my own space and I’m not a very good sleeper either. Doesn’t feel like much of a holiday when you are going to be on edge the whole time does it? 😔

Some of you are making mountains out of molehills here.

All you need to do is say to the organiser I’m going to book my room separately. It’s that easy.

SleeplessInEngland · 01/06/2022 10:56

It's only one night. I'm also an introvert but surely that's doable? I'd totally get it if it was the whole 3.

SleeplessInEngland · 01/06/2022 10:57

Oh, just seen you got the single anway. Ah well.

TheWayoftheLeaf · 01/06/2022 11:42

Message MOH and then mention at the meeting. Just be honest 'I have insomnia and won't sleep sharing a room - and that wouldn't be pleasant for any of us'.

I certainly wouldn't mind as another guess. I can sleep anywhere - slept in a bath once. Mutual comfort is key.

TheWayoftheLeaf · 01/06/2022 11:43

Oh it's sorted never mind lol

Wheelz46 · 01/06/2022 11:53

@TheOccupier how rude, I really hope my child who has severe social anxiety, coupled with selective mutism never encounters someone like you in their life!!

OP, glad you got it sorted, definitely a great idea putting it in a group chat, hope you have a fun.

IamtheDevilsAvocado · 01/06/2022 12:32

SuziSecondLaw · 31/05/2022 22:29

I don't snore. I just really struggle to sleep, if I feel even slightly anxious there's no way I sleep. I'm always anxious around people, even friends.. So it's a tricky one!

It's all a surprise for bride, so can't speak to her. I could always speak to the MOH but she's a bit ditsy and probably won't understand.

I feel like I'll just have to ask when we all get together.. But how do I even bring it up? Just imagining myself saying 'ahem, stop all your excited chatter a moment whilst I ask a really awkward favour' I 🤦🏻‍♀️is so embarrassing..
obviously not like that, but you know what I mean!

You're building this up more than it is!!

Hi girls, before we start... As you know I've paid for 3 nights and only staying one... I do need my own room though (as it makes me really on edge to share a room, if not I really can't come...)

I never share rooms now... I sleep really badly and I would feel shit if I wole other people when I'm crashing around

Daisy4569 · 02/06/2022 08:24

Excellent news op! Enjoy 😊

Museumland · 02/06/2022 08:39

Hi, I have social anxiety. If I have an invite for something such as a group trip away/Hen party away, I think very carefully about whether I should go at all because I probably wouldn't enjoy it. Alternatively, I book my own room from the start. In a shared house I would offer to pay more, as you are actually already doing that (paying 3 nights for one) I would just ask.

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