Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think 8.30am is an acceptable time for a child to play in the garden?

422 replies

Theresamagicalplace · 07/05/2022 08:08

The tiny terrorist is on one this morning and I said to my partner it's fine we can get him out in garden in 20 mins or so to burn off the excess energy. He looked at me like I had two heads and told me anything before 10 or 10.30 on a weekend was unacceptable and would make us those neighbours. For context we have 2 attached neighbours both with babies or young children themselves and ours is only a toddler so plays relatively quietly (obviously not silently though). So aibu, am I accidentally the neighbour from hell?

OP posts:
PrettyMaybug · 08/05/2022 23:03

sborber · 08/05/2022 21:17

No, do you know what, sod your neighbours. Do what's best for YOU on YOUR weekend. If your neighbours have an issue, they'll soon let you know about it (which I doubt, since they have kids, too) but until then, if your DS needs to let off some steam, let him out before bloody 9am. As you've said, he's a toddler so probably wouldn't make much noise anyway.

@sborber

In that case, sod MY neighbours. I will do what's best for ME on MY weekend. I will play loud music from 9pm til 3am, and have 40 people around partying and smoking pot, and screaming and shouting in the back garden - AND the front!

Tough titties to anyone who can't sleep. IDGAF as long as I am OK, and loving life and having a good time. To fucking hell with anyone else as long as I am OK. Me me me, it's all about meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeecoz I'm so special, everyone else's life will revolve around meeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

OnceAgainWithFeeling · 08/05/2022 23:11

MyBrilliantFriend · 07/05/2022 08:08

It’s a bit early. My cut off is 9am - 10:30 is the middle of the day for a toddler!

As a toddler, DD was never up before 11am. I’d have been a bit cross if she was regularly woken at 8:30am on a weekend.

icanonlydosomuch · 08/05/2022 23:13

10am at the earliest!

Silvers11 · 08/05/2022 23:14

Personally, I think 9.30am on a Saturday and not before 10 am on a Sunday - if you want to be a good neighbour. Of course if your immediate neighbours all let their kids out earlier, fair enough but in general I'm afraid your OH is right. 8.30 am is far too early - especially as you say it is in order for him to 'let off steam'

Worriedatwork1 · 08/05/2022 23:25

I was thinking that, surely most people are awake by that time even on a weekend, I don’t think I know anyone who isn’t up by that sort of time unless they’ve been partying into the early hours

Mothership4two · 08/05/2022 23:27

@surreygirl1987

As for the suggestion that parents put Peppa Pig on the TV for an hour or so rather than allow young children to play outside... are you actually serious?! And you wonder why there is a screen issue with kids and why kids are going outside less than ever, glued to screen instead?! That is sickening advice and I hope nobody is foolish enough to follow it!!

"Sickening advice"? Get a grip. An hour of Peppa Pig is not going to have a major impact on them.

Mothership4two · 08/05/2022 23:31

the OP's question was not about kids not being allowed to be kids in the UK, it was about being considerate and what is the appropriate time to let possibly noisy children outside

Mothership4two · 08/05/2022 23:38

@Worriedatwork1 ·

I was thinking that, surely most people are awake by that time even on a weekend, I don’t think I know anyone who isn’t up by that sort of time unless they’ve been partying into the early hours

If we have a free day, we might stay in bed until around 10 at the weekend. Several friends and family are the same especially those that have to be up early during the week. Once your children are old enough it can be a lovely treat.

FreezyFreezy · 09/05/2022 00:02

When my dc were younger they weren't allowed to get up until after 8 on a weekend anyway (easy enough because they'd often sleep until half 7: I was very lucky both times!) and would have breakfast and watch TV for a bit before wanting to go outside. The earliest they ever went to play out was 9ish. I think everyone in the street I live on has a similar idea. A lot of kids here play out until 9p.m. in the summer though and even I think that's a bit late!

GraceandMolly · 09/05/2022 05:32

Interesting to see so evenly divided opinions.

I’m in YABU crew. While most days my pre-schooler is up by 7/ 7.30am, it’s not rare that she sleeps until 8.30 or 9am. To be awaken by other kids on such mornings would be very annoying.

I’d say 9am at the earliest on a weekend.

Loopyloopy · 09/05/2022 05:49

Mothership4two · 08/05/2022 23:27

@surreygirl1987

As for the suggestion that parents put Peppa Pig on the TV for an hour or so rather than allow young children to play outside... are you actually serious?! And you wonder why there is a screen issue with kids and why kids are going outside less than ever, glued to screen instead?! That is sickening advice and I hope nobody is foolish enough to follow it!!

"Sickening advice"? Get a grip. An hour of Peppa Pig is not going to have a major impact on them.

It's the underlying attitude that is sickening - that kids should be kept quiet with screens rather than being allowed to be kids.

An hour won't make a difference, no, but there's this growing expectation that kids should be kept quiet and indoors.

user1497787065 · 09/05/2022 05:59

Im an early riser so it wouldn't bother me In the slightest what time I heard a child playing and if my DC when they were young were in the garden at 7am that was fine with me but we have a large garden and although we have neighbours no one who would be impacted by any noise they made.

You will never please everyone. We have one neighbour who doesn't ever get up before 10am and we now have a neighbour with young children but if we need to mow lawns or strim of an evening we do so. My DH only has Sundays off so if we haven't been able to do these jobs then they need to be done of an evening.

IWishIHadNotDoneIt · 09/05/2022 06:13

People start DIY projects around 7am round here most weekends 8.30 seems fine to me. I would love to hear children playing instead of hammers and drills.

AlasEarwacs · 09/05/2022 06:46

I mean you have to have a bit of give and take, if you let your kid out to play early but then also complain if your neighbours have friends over, for a bbq, fire pit, but of music on then yeah you're a shit neighbour because you expect them to listen to your child's noise but anything that might keep your child up is off limits. However if you're happy and not a shit neighbour then go for it.

Can't be one rule for parents who's children 'need to sleep' and adults who must get up immediately when their neighbours child is awake

Foggydayz · 09/05/2022 07:35

Loopyloopy · 09/05/2022 05:49

It's the underlying attitude that is sickening - that kids should be kept quiet with screens rather than being allowed to be kids.

An hour won't make a difference, no, but there's this growing expectation that kids should be kept quiet and indoors.

Show quote history

Agree with loopyloopy

It has been creeping into society everywhere. You can't go to a restaurant or cafe without a child in nappies being shoved an iPad in their face to keep them quiet.

I felt , 15 years ago that there was a good fight in Britain, to make places more child friendly , family friendly. Now the families have taken it into their hands to go backwards, and make their children invisible

technology addiction is a pndameic, whether games or instant access youtube of peppa pig. It starts early and it is insidious

LuckySantangelo35 · 09/05/2022 07:40

ZenKaleidoscope · 07/05/2022 08:12

How on earth do you keep a toddler entertained at home until 10:30?

I don't think 8:30 is too early at all.

@ZenKaleidoscope

keeping a toddler entertained isn’t your neighbours problem - it’s yours.

Foggydayz · 09/05/2022 07:41

you're overthinkinging!
they have babies. Babies are often up for a morning feed about 630, and ready for a mid morning nap at 930-1030. This might mean that ten am is the worst time to let your toddler out.

Or you may have one neighbour whose baby sleeps in the morning but naps 1-3 every afternoon. Does that mean you don't let your child out then?

I would say that the sound of a child playing alone is not going to bother anyone. I have 3 kids and they fight and bicker and make big noises. We are overlooked by ten neighbours ( all elderly) and the majority say how much they love seeing the kids outside ( even if they are ruffians ) .Are your neighbours unreasonable? or do you have a relationship whereby you could speak to them if they were up and in the garden at hours that affected you?

i do think it is your garden and you should use it as you please

Wouldyabeguilty · 09/05/2022 09:04

Foggydayz · 09/05/2022 07:41

you're overthinkinging!
they have babies. Babies are often up for a morning feed about 630, and ready for a mid morning nap at 930-1030. This might mean that ten am is the worst time to let your toddler out.

Or you may have one neighbour whose baby sleeps in the morning but naps 1-3 every afternoon. Does that mean you don't let your child out then?

I would say that the sound of a child playing alone is not going to bother anyone. I have 3 kids and they fight and bicker and make big noises. We are overlooked by ten neighbours ( all elderly) and the majority say how much they love seeing the kids outside ( even if they are ruffians ) .Are your neighbours unreasonable? or do you have a relationship whereby you could speak to them if they were up and in the garden at hours that affected you?

i do think it is your garden and you should use it as you please

The majority of your elderly neighbours love hearing your kids screaming, shouting and fighting at sparrows fart on a weekend morning.

They don't ya know.

GlomOfNit · 09/05/2022 09:31

Nope.

Nope.

Nope.

8.30 am at a weekend IS TOO FUCKING EARLY OP. You must realise this. Doesn't matter if your immediate neighbours have small children too - do THEY let them make noisy mayhem outdoors early at weekends when there might be half a chance of a lie-in? If your tiny terrorist is needing to burn some energy off and they need a run outdoors, then you just have to take one for the team and take them to the park/walk round the block/etc.

In response to your DH, yes you WOULD be 'one of those neighbours' if you do this. I have a couple of neighbours locally and they sometimes do this on the early side at weekends - believe me, I'm lying in bed cursing them.

Original poster
Theresamagicalplace · 09/05/2022 09:40

The neighbours can be somewhat hypocritical and to be honest a bit scary when they want to be so we do everything we can to not get on the wrong side of them! They often mow their lawn etc when my son is napping and put glass into the recycling on their way to work (very early morning) waking us up but I would never dream of complaining as that's just what happens when you can afford a detached house but for a quiet life I thought it was best to ask opinions on the timings. And for those asking, no my partner was absolutely not expecting me to do the entertaining, he'd let me have a lie in and when I got downstairs looked like a broken man so I suggested it. There's some quite harsh responses here but they gave me a good laugh so thanks. Points taken and 9.30 is our starting point from now on!

OP posts:
Squillerman · 09/05/2022 09:43

It’s a bit early, we always say 9am.

YayitisfinallySpring · 09/05/2022 10:15

I live in what used to be a quiet cul de sac. In the past couple of years several families have moved in with lots of children. They don't allow their children to make a noise before 10.00 at the earliest, which is great because I'm awake most of the night and don't sleep before 4 or 5 am. From about 11.00 all the children play out the front. Often around 20 so it's like a school playground. My NDN has sold up because he can't stand the noise. I'm just grateful that none of the parents are thoughtless enough to let the children play in the garden before 10.

SNAFU247 · 09/05/2022 10:35

Oh wow... most of PP would hate us. Our DC (6years old) is out in the garden at 8am weekends and even earlier weekdays! He does laps of the garden on his bike, so it isn't hugely noisy but he does tend to sing or act out games at the same time.

I'm woken at 5:30am daily for NDN fecking dog barking in their garden after he's gone out for a wee, and so I feel its all fair. The kids are often kept awake in summer months by neighboring adults having BBQs and friends over in their gardens with loud chatting, laughing, music. I don't blame the neighbours - it sounds great fun! - and my view is we all have to live together and use our homes as needed. Sometimes that means we're/kids kept up, other times they are woken early.

steppemum · 09/05/2022 10:38

mn is so black and white.

It is all about context. Who your neighbours are, what time they get up, where you live. how noisy your child is etc etc.

In principle, I would agree with keeping the noise down until 9am.
But my nieghbour ont he left is a postie, he used ot let his dog out for a wee before work, and she would often bark when she did. At 4am.
He did his best to keep her quiet, but he had to leave for work, and she needed a wee before he left her for his shift. That's life isn;t it?

Most people have double glazing and unless you live in a very quiet road, traffic noise will start getting going fomr about 8.

One neighbour 4 houses down has kids that shriek and scream when they are in the garden, which is horrible at any time of day. Other people's kids are out playing early, but just normal voices and play noises.

There really isn't a blanket rule. I'd rather have kids voices than music at any time. Other prefer the opposite.

But to the poster who said her dd was on a trampoline at 8 am on a Saturday. If you were my neighbour I would be serioulsy unimpressed. BOING BOING BOING at 8am on a Saturday. Inconsiderate and bloody horrible.

lioncitygirl · 09/05/2022 10:40

My neighbours kids were up by 7 in the garden this morning. 😂😂😂 warm day - suns out. Paddle pool before school.