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To think 8.30am is an acceptable time for a child to play in the garden?
422

Theresamagicalplace · 07/05/2022 08:08

The tiny terrorist is on one this morning and I said to my partner it's fine we can get him out in garden in 20 mins or so to burn off the excess energy. He looked at me like I had two heads and told me anything before 10 or 10.30 on a weekend was unacceptable and would make us those neighbours. For context we have 2 attached neighbours both with babies or young children themselves and ours is only a toddler so plays relatively quietly (obviously not silently though). So aibu, am I accidentally the neighbour from hell?

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Am I being unreasonable?

AIBU

You have one vote. All votes are anonymous.

Ahurricaneofjacarandas · 09/05/2022 11:09

I love how the people who claim we shouldn't be raising inconsiderate and entitled kids are the ones entitled enough to expect to live in a built up area and their neighbours not even use their own gardens. It's laughable. My kid is a kind and thoughtful little girl but there's no way any neighbour of mine would dictate when she could and couldn't use her garden. What a miserable society our poor kids are being raised in.

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purplepentagram · 09/05/2022 11:26

going by my neighbours 9 isn’t early. Yesterday my neighbours lot ( she has twin boys and another boy all under 6 ) playing out in the back garden at 6.30.am it’s like this most days.

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Classicblunder · 09/05/2022 11:27

I find the focus on kids noise really strange. I live in a busy street. Lots of things have woken me up - despite there being a lot of kids on the street, not once has it been a child playing in their garden! The bin lorry, supermarket deliveries, motorbikes, dogs barking, the foxes, the neighbours cats fighting, the adult neighbours in their garden... Honestly the kids are really not loud in comparison

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Wouldyabeguilty · 09/05/2022 11:32

purplepentagram · 09/05/2022 11:26

going by my neighbours 9 isn’t early. Yesterday my neighbours lot ( she has twin boys and another boy all under 6 ) playing out in the back garden at 6.30.am it’s like this most days.

That is just dreadful on a Sunday morning, I would be fuming.

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RachaelN · 09/05/2022 11:33

We usually wait til ten, but our neighbors do not have kids in the house. People could still be sleeping.

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Roxy69 · 09/05/2022 11:58

WimpoleHat · 07/05/2022 08:12

i’d say 9 too. With instructions to be considerate of others and not to make too much noise!

Like this, you can always teach him to be considerate and play quietly, just a thought. It doesn't have to be about screaming.

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Easilystartled · 09/05/2022 12:38

My neighbours used to wake me up at 7.30 on a Saturday morning with their personal trainer in the garden. So inconsiderate bearing in mind they’re retired and the weekend is the only time I’m not having to be up at the crack of dawn. Old people and toddlers should be locked up at the weekend until 10am at the earliest.

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InPraiseOfBacchus · 09/05/2022 13:05

9 is still pushing it. Anything earlier is quite anti-social.

I'd prefer to hear garbage trucks and drills than someone's darling little Lifestyle Choice shouting outdoors on my nice Saturday or Sunday morning.

Any possibility of taking little one to a nearby park for a quick tear about?

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TolkiensFallow · 09/05/2022 14:06

I appreciate this is slightly off topic but how are people managing these lengthy sleeps???

The idea of being woken up from a such a deep sleep (by a toddler playing in a sandpit) that I could feel justified to be “fuming” about it at 8:30am feels like another planet?

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stefb · 09/05/2022 16:26

To be honest I would rather my neighbours let their children in the garden when they get up, they get up extremely early about 5am on one side but never seem to go in their v large garden, they let their children run around screaming in the house. They have 2 boys, 1 age 8 the other 6. They must walk around in boots all day in the house because all I can hear is jumping, stomping and screaming in the house, the mum just screams all the time. I have had children both grown now, 1 left home. I’m aware children make noise and I have no issue with that, but when you are attached to someone you need to try to be a bit mindful of your neighbours at 5am. I have mentioned it to them in a jokey way before but they said they don’t hear it because they put ear plugs in and go back to sleep!! They really don’t seem to care. Children on the other side are out in the garden all day laughing and playing, I much prefer that sound, they come out around 9 in the morning on weekends which I don’t mind at all. I can hear them in the house playing other times, but it’s not excessive noise just normal children playing noise.

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venus7 · 09/05/2022 19:31

violetbunny · 07/05/2022 08:10

If you were my neighbour I'd be sticking pins into a miniature sized doll of you.

This.

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NumberTheory · 09/05/2022 20:16

TolkiensFallow · 09/05/2022 14:06

I appreciate this is slightly off topic but how are people managing these lengthy sleeps???

The idea of being woken up from a such a deep sleep (by a toddler playing in a sandpit) that I could feel justified to be “fuming” about it at 8:30am feels like another planet?

By not getting enough sleep during the week and then staying up late on Friday night because TGIF.

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Bettyboopawoop · 09/05/2022 20:18

Nobody is saying your child can't use their garden all people are asking for is a bit of consideration it's not much to ask really is it? After around 10am your child can play in their garden all day. Is it really that hard to occupy your child for a couple of hours?

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chubbachub · 09/05/2022 20:27

Ok so MY 2 boys could absolutely NOT play in the garden together at 8.30am because they are shouty and loud when playing their made up games. Or playing minecraft in real life. Or sonic in real life. You get the idea.

But a single toddler on his own, probably supervised by an adult? How noisy could he be? Absolutely get him out there. Especially if the neighbours have little kids too. It's not like they'll be asleep. And their babies might grow up and be out playing at 8am and you'll regret keeping yours in for their sake

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AlasEarwacs · 09/05/2022 21:05

@TolkiensFallow if you don't have kids I see no reason not to go to bed past 12 or 11. Not everyone co sleeps from 7pm because their kid gets up at 5am

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surreygirl1987 · 09/05/2022 21:13

Foggydayz · 09/05/2022 07:35

Agree with loopyloopy

It has been creeping into society everywhere. You can't go to a restaurant or cafe without a child in nappies being shoved an iPad in their face to keep them quiet.

I felt , 15 years ago that there was a good fight in Britain, to make places more child friendly , family friendly. Now the families have taken it into their hands to go backwards, and make their children invisible

technology addiction is a pndameic, whether games or instant access youtube of peppa pig. It starts early and it is insidious

Exactly. I don't think the other poster gets it. You see it all the time. Kids being occupied (and therefore silenced) by screens in restaurants, on the bus, on planes, at the doctors, the hairdressers - and now apparently in the morning because some people are up late and want a lie-in 🤦‍♀️

I'm all for being neighbourly (we take a lot of effort to be considerate to our neighbours) but people moaning because toddlers playing outdoors might wake them at 8:30/9am must be off their rocker. If you're that sleep-deprived that you're that concerned about a toddler waking you, why not go to sleep half an hour earlier?! If you're in bed before midnight, you'd have more than 8 hours sleep - I really can't see the issue.

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ElCoh · 09/05/2022 21:16

Take your terrorist toddler to the park. No-one wants to listen to your kid screaming at 8.30am (or anytime for that matter).

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girlmom21 · 09/05/2022 21:18

I'd rather hear children playing at 8am than drunken idiots in their garden at 11:30pm.

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DappledShade · 09/05/2022 21:24

@girlmom21 Agreed, or 10pm, 9pm, 8pm...

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Ahurricaneofjacarandas · 10/05/2022 17:30

ElCoh · 09/05/2022 21:16

Take your terrorist toddler to the park. No-one wants to listen to your kid screaming at 8.30am (or anytime for that matter).

Well aren't you charming. I really hope you don't have your own kids if this is the way you view them.

OP please don't listen to this crap. I'll say it again, your kid is perfectly entitled to play in her own garden at whatever hour she wants especially if she isn't being excessively loud or obnoxious. I honestly don't know why you even needed to ask for stranger's permission to let her do this. Your daughter's entitlement to happiness and a normal childhood trumps a grownass adults's entitlement to hear no noise until midday. Please just let her be a kid

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TolkiensFallow · 10/05/2022 18:17

@AlasEarwacs I’d be awake at 7:30 regardless of what time I go to bed to be honest.

I see no reason not to use my own garden just because people like to stay up past midnight.

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Kat1953 · 10/05/2022 18:48

TolkiensFallow · 10/05/2022 18:17

@AlasEarwacs I’d be awake at 7:30 regardless of what time I go to bed to be honest.

I see no reason not to use my own garden just because people like to stay up past midnight.

...Or work shifts, or are ill.

That's thing about consideration for others, it means accepting people may be dealing with things you don't.

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surreygirl1987 · 10/05/2022 21:49

Or work shifts, or are ill.

This makes absolutely no sense. If someone is ill and in bed, they might be asleep at 2pm. Should we not use the garden then, just in case?? And many people do night shifts and sleep during the day. So should we not use the garden then either, in case that is the case? Talk sense!!

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surreygirl1987 · 10/05/2022 21:50

Ahurricaneofjacarandas · 10/05/2022 17:30

Well aren't you charming. I really hope you don't have your own kids if this is the way you view them.

OP please don't listen to this crap. I'll say it again, your kid is perfectly entitled to play in her own garden at whatever hour she wants especially if she isn't being excessively loud or obnoxious. I honestly don't know why you even needed to ask for stranger's permission to let her do this. Your daughter's entitlement to happiness and a normal childhood trumps a grownass adults's entitlement to hear no noise until midday. Please just let her be a kid

I thought the same thing. There are some nasty people around.

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Rolo1403 · 10/05/2022 22:01

@Mum198000

My toddler had a 6 month phase of sleeping 8pm untill 10/11am , so it is possible and I’d be pissed off if I heard kids in the garden at 830am as I’d lay in too when I could.

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