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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to ask how often your 9/10 year old DD’s shower?

104 replies

CrochetWhizz · 18/04/2022 21:57

DSD (9) is staying for the Easter holidays. Since she arrived (8th - 11 days ago) she’s had two showers. DP says I’m a clean freak as I make my two (7 & 10) shower at a minimum every other day.

I feel like I’m losing the plot as he’s so convinced this is normal Confused he also won’t enforce hairbrushing once a day either so DSD is ending up so tangled - I had to sort it for her yesterday. We’ve just had a huge argument as he’s convinced there’s no need for her to shower more often - she’s not washing at all in between either. AIBU?!

OP posts:
Chilver · 18/04/2022 21:59

We are trying to get 10yo DD into habit of every 2nd day now, but it’s taken a while. Hair brushed every day, face washed with hot flannel and teeth twice a day - but have to remind all the time!

GeneLovesJezebel · 18/04/2022 22:00

Every other day here. Clean PJ’s on bath night. And my girls brushed their hair morning and night, and we plaited it for bed.
Does she brush her teeth twice a a day ?
How about buying her a shower gel/bubble bath set or some bath bombs ?

quickscribble · 18/04/2022 22:01

I used to bathe my two every day until realised how much easier life was when I didn't bother. It very rapidly went down to about once a week! DD is 9. Have an older one too who will soon need to shower daily but still at 11 isn't at all smelly with a shower once or twice a week.

DelurkingAJ · 18/04/2022 22:02

DSs are 9 and 6 and except in exceptional circumstances they wash every day. Teeth morning and evening too.

Which is what DSis and I and DH and his brothers did in the 1980s so it’s no modern fad.

Onthetrain75 · 18/04/2022 22:02

My kids shower every day. Always have. Depends to some extent what they are doing though - at this age if they are just chilling I would be relaxed about showering every other day. If they’re out getting sweaty (mine usually are) then I would expect them to shower at the end of the day.

RussianSpy101 · 18/04/2022 22:04

My DS’ have a bath every day.
DD just turned 9 showers every night before bed.

OkPedro · 18/04/2022 22:04

My 10 year has to be *beaten into the shower I've accepted every other day for now. I made my DD start showering everyday at 11, she had started to smell at that age so it was needed.

If it was me I'd be encouraging your DSD to shower daily but you can't force her really

Wallywobbles · 18/04/2022 22:04

Jesus I'm not a clean freak at all but daily. All 4 of them. Always.

crackingreward · 18/04/2022 22:05

She is 9, would you not just say 'oh x you can go shower after y' or 'why don't you shower tonight as they will be tomorrow'

RussianSpy101 · 18/04/2022 22:05

Peoples children shower once a week?? Surely not.

Wallywobbles · 18/04/2022 22:05

All the girls stank by 9. BO and the rest.

catsoup · 18/04/2022 22:06

Yup every other day here as well. Although she's 12 now but have been doing this since 9 or 10. She complains but honestly she needs to wash. The days in between showers she has a wash at the bathroom sink.
Hair brushed every day. I want her to have good hygiene habits but my god it's a battle sometimes!

kalidasa · 18/04/2022 22:07

I have a DS who's 9, he showers about twice a week. He is very good about cleaning hands and face etc regularly and isn't smelly at all yet so I think it's fine. His younger brother has a bath most days but that's because he still enjoys bath toys / being read to in the bath.

BananaSpanner · 18/04/2022 22:08

I’m shocked by some of these answers. Mine (7 and 10) have a bath or shower every day. Hair brushed daily, teeth twice daily. Like one of the pp, I don’t consider myself to be a clean freak but even for younger ones, a wash once or twice a week is grim.

OkPedro · 18/04/2022 22:08

Yep catsoup my 10 year old acts like it's lava rather than a lovely hot shower! The dramatics Hmm

Comefromaway · 18/04/2022 22:09

We didn’t used to have a shower so Dd and Ds wasted every day (bits and pits) and bathed once a week.

Once we had a shower they showered twice a week and washed every day.

steff13 · 18/04/2022 22:10

My daughter showered every second day, she has eczema and bathing is not great for her skin. She's recently started developing body odor, though, so we're doing every day.

Sunnytwobridges · 18/04/2022 22:11

Every day. But I'm OCD about showers. But if she's inside every day just hanging out then every other day works. Twice in 10 days I would think is unhygienic.

Merry0ldGoat · 18/04/2022 22:15

My 9yo showers or bathes daily - may miss the odd night about twice a month but it’s rare.

They’re filthy after a day playing out and at school - I find it bizarre if the default isn’t daily tbh.

metumble · 18/04/2022 22:15

DS is 10 and has about 3-4 showers per week, but this changes to daily in summer when it gets hot and sticky.

Will probably start encouraging a habit of daily showers all the time as he gets older and approaches puberty.

AHungryCaterpillar · 18/04/2022 22:17

Daily.

pumpkinposey · 18/04/2022 22:18

9yr old DD does a lot of sport (2/3 nights during the week) so the deal is she showers those nights. Weekends I'm a bit more lax. Sunday nights are non negotiable although she can have a bath if she'd rather.

Whetheryouthinkyoucan · 18/04/2022 22:20

My 8 year old showers daily. With sport every day, it’s absolutely not optional. She gets sweaty, though we don’t wash hair every night, hair is 3 x a week.

FourEyesGood · 18/04/2022 22:20

Every day - it’s just part of the morning routine.

Changeee1546789 · 18/04/2022 22:22

Mine shower every night - they are filthy from school/sport - don't know how they couldn't?!