AIBU to ask how often your 9/10 year old DD’s shower?

[CrochetWhizz]

DSD (9) is staying for the Easter holidays. Since she arrived (8th - 11 days ago) she’s had two showers. DP says I’m a clean freak as I make my two (7 & 10) shower at a minimum every other day.

I feel like I’m losing the plot as he’s so convinced this is normal he also won’t enforce hairbrushing once a day either so DSD is ending up so tangled - I had to sort it for her yesterday. We’ve just had a huge argument as he’s convinced there’s no need for her to shower more often - she’s not washing at all in between either. AIBU?!

Shower every day. Just normal routine really ad DS seems to love a shower so no hardship.

Can you imagine hitting puberty and trying to convince them to shower regularly if they've had years of once a week washes.....

If she doesn’t want to shower everyday then encourage washing at the sink everyday. That should be fine with a shower or bath once a week.

Better for the environment too.

10 yo every other day until high school, then every day.
He's not a particularly smelly child though. Could get away with longer but has only gone longer when we've had no choice, boiler broken etc.

9 YO hasn’t hit puberty and doesn’t smell so probably showers/ bathes twice a week plus after swimming. She’s not keen on washing!

11 YO does get sweaty and showers every morning.

Daily (bath or shower on alternate evenings). Hair wash on shower days only, so bath days are a fairly rudimentary wash! I could just about cope with every other day but less than that feels wrong to me.

My DS has just turned 11. He has to shower every single day because his BO is eye watering at the end of the day. He's a really active kid and puberty has kicked in so it's really not avoidable. I'm a tiny bit more relaxed in the holidays but I will not have him going to school with smelly pits 🙈

Daily. Most often a bath before bed.

Very occasionally skips a night but then bath/shower the next morning instead.

I'm not a clean freak but honestly I feel daily washing is a necessity.

Every other day.

Apart from anything else she will be in puberty shortly so she needs to build the habit. Does she really only shower once a week at home?

9yo DD normally has a quick bath each night - occasionally skips it if she hasn’t been out or doing much. But if she’s been at school or any activity then you should see the grot that’s left at the bottom of the bath afterwards! At that age they seem to roll around the playground floor all lunchtime, what with the amount of dirt and sand she washes off each night.

Hair washed 2/3 times per week.

Your house, your rules. If your two get showered every other day , as the eldest she could be setting them a good example maybe ? Is she used to showering at her Mums house or does she bathe ? If it's a bath maybe encourage greater frequency with bath bombs or similar ? Tangled hair is horrible to try to sort out. Brushing once a day should be the minimum and your DH needs to give you more support

I think showering every day or every other day is fine. Twice in a week and a half is not enough.

Can you have a chat with her? Children can be incredibly intransigent about such things. My dd went from being forced to shower a couple of times a week to wanting to daily at about this age.

Once a week for 8y old - more often if she is actually grubby. 10y old is daily or every other day, otherwise she smells.
Hair brushed every day & teeth twice a day.

Once or twice a week for young children is fine for young children.
Too often and they can develop skin conditions which you don’t want them having to live with.

However brushing hair should be done every day.
Brushing and waging your hair less often actually does it good but if it gets tangled then it’s going to hurt when brushing and it will be a vicious cycle.

Tell him to get into the habit of having a bath and brushing her hair afterwards. Then put it in a plait and every day brush it. If it’s in a plait it won’t get as knotty.

All these daily showers!! And people are wondering how to reduce their electricity and water bills

Mine are ever second day and wash hair twice a week...they are perfectly clean!

Tiny babies it's not necessary to bath them every day (used to bath every 2-3 days and clean them up with a baby wipe at bed time before pjs was the normal thing here) but kids and up to adults should be washing at least once a day. Skipping a bath or shower should be the rare occasion not the other way around...

At least every other day. Those that are saying their kids wash once or twice a week and don't smell are wrong! They do smell, and other kids at school notice it and talk about it. If it is summer and they are more sweaty/got suncream on then at least daily.

Shower every day. Takes 5 minutes to get a lather up, wash it off and get in to clean underwear ready for the day. PJs off, practically walk through the shower and done.
Teeth and face twice a day and hands before each meal. This is pretty basic!

@Caulidop

At least every other day. Those that are saying their kids wash once or twice a week and don't smell are wrong! They do smell, and other kids at school notice it and talk about it. If it is summer and they are more sweaty/got suncream on then at least daily.

I really don't think that's true. Some people smell more than others and it doesn't necessarily have anything to do with how often they shower. My 11 year old can shower in the morning and forget to put deodorant on and stink by bedtime. My 14 year old has friends round after school and some are quite stinky. My 15 year old and I can shower a couple of times a week and not get smelly. I discovered years ago I don't need antiperspirant except in the hottest summer. My arm pits just don't really smell. And I'm not nose-blind to it, Im aware my feet stink in sandals unless washed at least daily. Plus my dh would have no qualms about telling me if my armpits smelled!

My point is people are different and not everyone needs to shower daily, aside from the environmental and financial impact of doing that.

Every other day when she's being wilful.... Most of the time she's happy to bath though. Still needs a prompt for teeth though.

My 10 yr old dd showers everyday. Necessary I think as they get sweaty around that age. Twice since the 8th is not normal!!

Mine is 9 and a bath every night. Hair washed every 2nd night (very oily scalp). Deodrant on morning & night (puberty started). Hair brushed morning & night and teeth twice a day. Even Moisturiser on after bath or her skin gets dry. I think it's good to get them into good habits & a good routine taking care of their hygiene (and skin). It's very much habit & routine for her now that it's just normal & i don't have much hassle getting her to do her routine. We both have the same routine though so I think because she sees me doing the exact same as her she doesn't feel put out.

DSD is 9 and I aim for daily, DH aims for every other day if I'm not here at bed time as her hair is a nightmare!
Hair is brushed and plaited daily, teeth twice a day, and face washed AM and micellar water PM as she has sebum issues, and those little white under the skin spots you cant pop. She has been using a gentle antiperspirant for a year as she had started to get a bit sweaty.
Generally, she's good at self motivation to do all this, but the two things we have issues with (still) are washing her own hair and the one that really gives me the ick - wiping her own bum. (If anyone had any advice, hit me up!!)

10 year old we aim for every other day. 13 year old same, unless she chooses otherwise. She understands she usually smells after PE!! So will shower on PE days regardless.

shower every day and hair wash 3 x a week. Can’t get my head around once a week shower for kids. It seems very unhygienic to me.

Every other day by that age. Both my girls started getting BO at 9! They still need reminding and the eldest is now 14, otherwise they won’t. “It’s time for your shower now, up you go”.