AIBU to ask how often your 9/10 year old DD’s shower?

[CrochetWhizz]

DSD (9) is staying for the Easter holidays. Since she arrived (8th - 11 days ago) she’s had two showers. DP says I’m a clean freak as I make my two (7 & 10) shower at a minimum every other day.

I feel like I’m losing the plot as he’s so convinced this is normal he also won’t enforce hairbrushing once a day either so DSD is ending up so tangled - I had to sort it for her yesterday. We’ve just had a huge argument as he’s convinced there’s no need for her to shower more often - she’s not washing at all in between either. AIBU?!

Mines 13 but has always bathed every night.
So do we all its part of our evening routine, everyone bathed and in bed.
Very surprised your DH doesn't think its gross TBH.

Those that are saying their kids wash once or twice a week and don't smell are wrong!

Of course not.
Some people are more smelly than others.

A young child will smell a lot better than a teenager because of hormones.

Many people have varying levels of hormones which means some people are more susceptible to greasy hair or acne, and of course smell, than others.

And of course it depends what you do all day and if you use deodorant or how often you change your clothes.

I have friends who have to shower twice every day else they absolutely stink.
It’s not their fault they just have overactive sweat glands due to their hormones.

After years of working in schools the main times children smell are when their clothes smell.
Either because they’ve not been washed properly or not been dried properly so smell damp or if they have pets, parents who smoke etc.

My oldest has just moved into needing a daily shower.
It added a lot more to the washing load but it's needed.

@ThursdayAddams have you tried toilet wipes?

My DD struggled with toilet paper when she was younger as it would rip so she couldn’t clean herself properly but she found the toilet wipes much easier to use.

Bath or shower every day here usually, if they miss a day it's no big deal but honestly after 2 days their hair gets a bit sticky, they look a but sticky and grubby. I can't imagine the state of them after a week.

@RussianSpy101

Peoples children shower once a week?? Surely not.

I thought this too🙄

@WonderfulYou yes. But we had to stop her using them as she used so many and caused a serious blockage. And we were still getting dirty pants

We've tried to have a chat with her, and explained that she can ask some one to 'check' if she's not sure. We were away a little while ago and she had managed to get it everywhere including her sleeves.

She says she has no issues with loo roll or reaching! And from what I can gather at mums house "skiddies" as she calls them, are funny 🤮

Daily for both DD (9) and DS (6). I’m always a bit grossed out when I read about children who shower once or twice a week. Why would allow a child who sweats, poos and gets grubby in the way children do to remain unwashed for days on end?! Horrifying.

No wonder hygiene levels in this country are so poor. At the beginning of the pandemic I watched people rushing into stores to buy soap, hand sanitizer and all manner of cleaning products and I wondered what they used before. Why did it take a global pandemic for people to realise you need to wash your hands before eating if e.g. you’ve been on public transport?!

I learnt very recently that bath/showers played havoc with my sons eczema. So my kids can have a shower every other day or it's 2 days over the weekend. Everyone is surviving, not sure why all your kids smell so bad after a couple of days!

My kids (now young adults) have always since being born showered or had a bath everyday.

I'd say 3 times a week is ok if she doesn't have BO yet. I have eczema and manage fine on that myself. Although I do have a sink wash every day

Everyday since they were born for all 3 of mine. Couldn't imagine trying to force a teen in the shower daily because they were so used to once a week once they start smelling. Its just routine for us now.

2-3 times a week, but always if she's been swimming or done something really active or mucky.

It used to be every day but we realised she just didn't need it.

Loving the judgy comments on this thread! DH and I both shower every day, use soap, we all wash our hands before eating or whenever we come in from anywhere, or after another activity. But DD just doesn't need to shower every day - she is not sweaty or hormonal yet.

Once or twice a week for my 10yr old, but the days in between she properly washes face & bits so is clean. She brushes teeth and hair twice a day. She had eczema when younger so daily bathing had to stop as just wasn’t good for her skin.

ThursdayAddams

With healthy stools there really shouldnt be much to wipe. The anal sphincter essentially extrudes a bit as you go, then sort of goes back inside

If everything is very messy it's likely she's either loose (consider her diet, is she drinking a lot of fruit juice?) or more likely, a bit constipated and getting leakage etc. Various other things can cause poorly formed or messy stools, its worth getting it checked if there's so much mess it's getting on her sleeve.

DS has had a bath or shower every day since the day he came home from hospital. It's time consuming when they're little, but we've never had to deal with the histrionics of increasing shower frequency as he got older as it was just second nature by then.

Daily bath/quick shower here, and hair wash 3 times a week.

However I think I do have particularly messy kids! They always seem to be covered in mud or paint or something and it's quicker to just stick them in the shower rather than make them scrub at the sink.

I suppose this may change as electricity bills shoot up....

Shower every other day unless physical activity/heat means an extra one is needed. Hair wash twice a week

Mine have had a bath/shower every day since they were a few months old.

I have 3 aged 8, 10 and 13. They all have a daily (quick) shower with hair washed 2 x a week. They’re all very active and sporty. My friend has 12 year old twins who shower 2 - 3 times a week. They absolutely reek, especially in the summer. I picked them up once from school and had to have the car windows down. And yes, I did speak to her but she’s very laid back and the kids don’t want to shower anymore than that so 🤷🏽‍♀️

My DS is 9 and a half and I’m definitely noticing the odd whiff of BO on a hot day and if he’s been exercising/running around. I am trying to get him to shower every day if it’s hot or he’s been sweaty and otherwise at least every other but it is like pulling teeth! I’m also drilling into him to wear his (kids) deodorant every day too but he doesn’t seem to like this much either! My 6 year old DD only has a bath about twice a week because she is so little and has no BO. She does have a bath if she’s been extra sweaty though.

My parents really talked about health concerns and smells and what happens to bodies when we don't shower daily to bring home how important daily showers are, especially at the age leading to puberty.

Most days,my dd is quite smelly.

2 to 3 times a week. I expect that this will go up when puberty and BO becomes a thing.

Every day usually, occasionally miss a day in the holidays. I don't think she's ever gone to 3 days without a Bath or shower in her whole life.