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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Is DH BIU- to talk with DSIL about planned baby name

677 replies

fringely · 26/03/2022 10:40

DSIL is 34 weeks pregnant with first DC.
A few weeks ago her and her DP announced the planned baby name.
The actual 'sound' of the name is fine, but it is heavily associated with something which DSIL and her DP were not really aware of. They have been made aware of the association since (as it's pretty common knowledge- not sure how they hadn't heard of it tbh!) but are of the opinion most people won't make the association. DH and I are of the other opinion that most people will definitely make the association, it's not a good association, and genuinely worry that it's not fair to give a baby that name and it's fully possible it could lead to bullying when older.

Whilst DP and strongly agree on the huge issue with the name and agree it's unfair to lumbar a baby with it, I don't think DH should say anything. DH thinks he should have a proper talk with her about his concerns on the name and why he doesn't think it's fair to give to a DN. I think nothing good will come and we should stay quiet.

(So far we have said very little about it. We were notably shocked when told what it was, and clarified 'X' as in X'?? But other than that have nodded and smiled).

OP posts:
Sceptre86 · 28/03/2022 17:50

I like the name Genghis. I wouldn't use it though but it has an interesting meaning. I think it's a bit odd if you don't come from a Mongolian or asian culture but each to their own.

I'd leave them to it.

LBFseBrom · 28/03/2022 17:50

@Baggins15

I knew someone who called their daughter Isis and has issues when ordering personalised stuff etc ...I would definitely think twice before giving a child a name with chance of bullying ..especially if well known , ..but would just say have you really thought about the child growing up ? .I know I would want someone to tell me x
To me, Isis is the Egyptian goddess of the moon, protector of women and children. ISIS (acronym), used to be 'Independent Schools Information Service', but they've changed that since it also became 'Islamic State of Iraq and Syria'. Nevertheless, Isis is not as bad a name for a girl as Genghis is for a boy.
browneyes77 · 28/03/2022 17:51

[quote GreenFingersWouldBeHandy]@fringely

"Actually' it really is none of your business. Yet you have made it all about you. Well done.[/quote]
You seem to be be quite unnecessarily agitated about this thread?

Unless you’re the SIL, I don’t really understand why you’re being so tetchy towards the OP?

Madamecastafiore · 28/03/2022 17:53

Ebenezer?

HELLITHURT · 28/03/2022 18:20

@Madamecastafiore

Ebenezer?
It's Genghis
takingmytimeonmyride · 28/03/2022 18:22

Quick OP, the only solution is to steal the name! Get a dog, or a cat, or a hamster, or any pet! And name it Genghis. Hurry now. You owe it to this child. Do your duty!

WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll · 28/03/2022 19:53

Quick OP, the only solution is to steal the name! Get a dog, or a cat, or a hamster, or any pet! And name it Genghis. Hurry now. You owe it to this child. Do your duty!

I think we all know that it has to be a guinea pig, don't we!

70isaLimitNotaTarget · 28/03/2022 21:29

I think we all know that it has to be a guinea pig, don't we !

As guinea=pigs should never be kept alone , there is far more scope:

Genghis and Lucifer
Genghis and Attila
Genghis and Voldemort

They never listen to their names , just the rustling of a parsley bag , though I would draw the line at Adolf

WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll · 29/03/2022 11:04

What if it's not the first guinea pig in the family, though? There's always the problem when you get a pair, give them a 'pair name' and then one of them dies and needs to be replaced - so you end up with Genghis & Hardy, Genghis & Garfunkel or Bubble & Genghis Grin

70isaLimitNotaTarget · 29/03/2022 12:25
Grin We never gave Pair Names / linked named .

We did have a Dill and a Tarragon but they never overlapped ( and he was Dylan but went by his NN)

Our male cat is named after a TV Serial Killer though (DH fault)

mikulkin · 31/03/2022 00:23

Ok, I am kind of late to the party but just read the thread. I think the name is not comparable with Judas and Lucifer.
Many historical figures committed murders unfortunately - if we use your logic a lot of names should be eliminated.
So should people never call their children Henry because they can be associated with Henry VIII who is known for killing his wives?

bridgetreilly · 31/03/2022 01:25

Excellent job, OP.

I’m not saying the name.
Okay, it’s on the thread.
Okay it’s on this narrowed down list.
I’m leaving the thread.
SPOILER ALERT: does not leave thread.
Fine, fine, I’ll tell you the name.

Blondeshavemorefun · 31/03/2022 09:33

@tommyhoundmum

Oh no, not Genghis. My Afghan Hound was called that.
I know a dog that beeed with that name as well 😂
eastegg · 31/03/2022 14:32

@mikulkin

Ok, I am kind of late to the party but just read the thread. I think the name is not comparable with Judas and Lucifer. Many historical figures committed murders unfortunately - if we use your logic a lot of names should be eliminated. So should people never call their children Henry because they can be associated with Henry VIII who is known for killing his wives?
The name is a lot more comparable to Judas and Lucifer than it is to Henry. Come on, get real.

And it’s not ‘by your logic’ at all. The OP’s logic clearly distinguishes between Genghis and Henry. Just Google both the names and see what happens.

IfSheKnewWhatSheWants · 31/03/2022 16:08

Latecomer to this thread, I think it's one for the classics though!
Some of the name suggestions are hilarious, I'm picturing little baby Nosferatu sitting bolt upright in his cot! Genghis is quite disappointing by comparison but yes please intervene and thoroughly dissuade them; it hideous on many levels

WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll · 31/03/2022 18:04

So should people never call their children Henry because they can be associated with Henry VIII who is known for killing his wives?

But there have been countless men through history called Henry. Only one internationally-famous Genghis, though.

(By the way, when I posted this, there were 666 messages....)

SevenWaystoLeave · 31/03/2022 18:10

@bridgetreilly

Excellent job, OP.

I’m not saying the name.
Okay, it’s on the thread.
Okay it’s on this narrowed down list.
I’m leaving the thread.
SPOILER ALERT: does not leave thread.
Fine, fine, I’ll tell you the name.

Tbf we did somewhat badger her into it.

I'd love an update if there is one OP - did your DH end up having a chat?

Original poster
fringely · 31/03/2022 18:30

No update.

I think DH plans to say nothing further. Unfortunately this is not the first thing we have had concerns about with DSIL recently and we feel that we are not the right people to talk to her about it, as I think she has already felt scrutinised by us. (I don't want to get into this, but has made some crap choices in the last year which affect/risked us directly, before I get accused of picking on her).

The rest of the family seem to be using the name in conversation (without sarcasm or a hint of a smirk!) so it would appear the name has stuck.

I really hope it gets shortened to a nickname quickly as I just can't bring myself to say the whole name seriously.

OP posts:
mikulkin · 01/04/2022 00:15

Well it looks like the rest of the family doesn’t have problem with the name - so maybe leave them be and with time you will learn to take the name seriously.
OP, are you concerned children in school will scream murderer at the sound of your DN’s name? - I think it is unlikely.
@eastegg People in the UK chose to use name Henry and ignore the history. Ghengis being international name hasn’t been used much - well now it is changing. I find it ridiculous that you use google search results as justification for your thinking.

Solidarityovercharity · 01/04/2022 00:51

Delilah? Ah it's killing me

CatRamsey · 01/04/2022 08:26

I'm mid 20s and never heard of Genghis Khan until this thread 🙈

Owl55 · 02/04/2022 19:17

Dick?

TheLoupGarou · 03/04/2022 09:59

OP are you sure they aren't all winding you up? When I was pregnant with ds1 my family were all ridiculously overinvested in baby names - constantly asking, making suggestions, criticizing any ideas we had. So in a childish, petty manner we started suggesting the most outlandish names we could think of - Agamemnon, Lucretia, Setanta etc.

It was v unlikely that we would have actually chosen one of those names, but if we had - well, it would've been no one else's business really.

It drove my mum round the bend.

Ladybuggsy · 12/12/2022 20:17

Only name I can think of is Devlin. Someone named their girl that and everything thought their parents were devil worshippers. I heard the name again years later for a man. Can you tell us the name now? If they decided not to use it you wouldn't be outing anyone. Besides you know how many people there are in the world? No outing could be done if you look at it realistically.

Georgieporgie29 · 12/12/2022 20:55

@Ladybuggsy rtft the op has given the name ages ago (in fact in March of this year) not sure the thread deserved resurrecting

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