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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Is DH BIU- to talk with DSIL about planned baby name

677 replies

fringely · 26/03/2022 10:40

DSIL is 34 weeks pregnant with first DC.
A few weeks ago her and her DP announced the planned baby name.
The actual 'sound' of the name is fine, but it is heavily associated with something which DSIL and her DP were not really aware of. They have been made aware of the association since (as it's pretty common knowledge- not sure how they hadn't heard of it tbh!) but are of the opinion most people won't make the association. DH and I are of the other opinion that most people will definitely make the association, it's not a good association, and genuinely worry that it's not fair to give a baby that name and it's fully possible it could lead to bullying when older.

Whilst DP and strongly agree on the huge issue with the name and agree it's unfair to lumbar a baby with it, I don't think DH should say anything. DH thinks he should have a proper talk with her about his concerns on the name and why he doesn't think it's fair to give to a DN. I think nothing good will come and we should stay quiet.

(So far we have said very little about it. We were notably shocked when told what it was, and clarified 'X' as in X'?? But other than that have nodded and smiled).

OP posts:
PikachuAndMe · 27/03/2022 23:55

Genghis is fine. It is just a name and although the most (in)famous person in history with that name has negative connotations it is still just a name and not offensive. A name just like Adolf, Vladimir, Osama, Cain, Irish, Lilith etc.

You should butt out and not say anything.

Nancydrawn · 28/03/2022 00:16

I cannot stop giggling at them thinking that no one will make the connection to Genghis Khan.

"I'm looking for Genghis."

"Genghis Khan?"

"No, no, Genghis Johnson from up the road."

MammaMacgill87 · 28/03/2022 00:22

How old is sis in law? Because honestly I think anyone under the age of 25/30 really isn't going to make a tangible connection anymore. It's just a name, one that over 76thousand people in the world have right now (thankyou google)
If you've already passed comment and they are still happy let it go, it really isn't your buisness and it's going to cause a big thing if you make a fuss.

LBFseBrom · 28/03/2022 00:22

I agree, NancyDrawn. If their ethnicity is such that it's quite a commonly used name, that's fine, but not for here in the UK.

Here he is having an Excellent Adventure with Bill and Ted:

Tsuni · 28/03/2022 00:22

@Lulu49

It’s not Putin is it?!
Yes. It's Putin.
WellThisIsShit · 28/03/2022 00:25

Have one proper word and explain the history, then leave it be.

Unfortunately it’s their mistake to make, and you don’t want to jeopardize your relationship with them… so difficult to balance really.

Colouringaddict · 28/03/2022 00:30

@fringely

Ok I'm kinda done here. The name is Genghis.
My son, mid 30’s went to school with a Genghis Khan. His peers never batted an eye lid. It might not be as bad as you think
Fearitcatches · 28/03/2022 01:05

An unusual choice - but, I think, better than ‘Mitler’.

My 6 year old and 9 year old would get the reference to Genghis Khan. (Though to be fair they would probably think it an amazing name.) So not sure that it’s true most young people wouldn’t get the reference

Original poster
fringely · 28/03/2022 01:08

@GreenFingersWouldBeHandy

Oh dear god. We're emerging from a pandemic, on the verge of WW3, soaring food prices and this is your biggest worry?
Did I say it was my biggest worry? Hmm Yes there is a lot of shit around. We are allowed to discuss other things.
OP posts:
Original poster
fringely · 28/03/2022 01:08

@GreenFingersWouldBeHandy

most people seem to be agreeing

No. We're really not.

Do the math.
OP posts:
CelestiaNoctis · 28/03/2022 01:12

Hahaha haha what!!!! There's literally only been 1 genghis in the world!!! 100000000% people will say genghis khan????? Every single time. You have to stop them. You absolutely have to. You have to actually stage an intervention with the family. Like everyone sit them down and be like, absolutely not. Genghis Khan was legit an evil dude too. You were right. It is comparable to naming your kid Adolf or judas. Just. Fucking wow...

CelestiaNoctis · 28/03/2022 01:15

By 1 genghis I mean actually famous one. There's probably loads named after him because he's so famous and isn't he like related to half the planet or something because he raped and banged his way across continents.

Original poster
fringely · 28/03/2022 01:17

To answer a few questions:
I definitely do not think it's a joke, clothes are being made with 'Genghis' embroidered (sp) on them. We also were freely offered the name so no nagging from us. The idea for the name came from something seen online. The parents are mid 20s.
I just feel like it's so unfair on the child to be given a name which is going to cause something as simple as introducing themselves to become a 'thing'.
In good news- no the surname is not Khan Grin

OP posts:
HappyDays40 · 28/03/2022 02:20

Unless they're about to call their child Putin I'd steer clear.

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 28/03/2022 02:49

"In good news- no the surname is not Khan Grin"

So they could still use it as a middle name then... Wink

Although I do like the idea that of his surname being Johnson (echoes of Sir Terry Pratchett's "Bloody Stupid Johnson" in my brain)

GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 28/03/2022 05:38

PS: you do realise that the name they choose for their child is none of your business anyway?

Original poster
fringely · 28/03/2022 07:42

@GreenFingersWouldBeHandy

PS: you do realise that the name they choose for their child is none of your business anyway?
Actually, if you RTFT, many people seem think it is family's business and job to try and intercede when a child is to be burdened like this.
OP posts:
phoenixrosehere · 28/03/2022 07:54

The parents are mid 20s.

You could have said this in your first post. You said you couldn’t understand how they couldn’t get the reference and now it’s obvious. I wouldn’t expect someone of that age group or below to know who Genghis Khan is. I bet if you ask the majority of people in their age group and below, they wouldn’t either. Not sure, he is still taught about in school or most people have retained that knowledge of who he is. They may recognise his name but recalling what he did.

Brother can talk to them if he wants but considering their age, they may buckled down harder on the name. Again, it’s not even that bad and again, they can easily change it.

LBFseBrom · 28/03/2022 08:27

@fringely

To answer a few questions: I definitely do not think it's a joke, clothes are being made with 'Genghis' embroidered (sp) on them. We also were freely offered the name so no nagging from us. The idea for the name came from something seen online. The parents are mid 20s. I just feel like it's so unfair on the child to be given a name which is going to cause something as simple as introducing themselves to become a 'thing'. In good news- no the surname is not Khan Grin
Poor kid. I find it difficult to believe that anyone in mid twenties who is at least reasonably intelligent and educated knows nothing about the mass slaughtering, megalomaniac emperor, Genghis Khan. However I came across someone yesterday in their sixties who had never heard of Hades so it should not really surprise me. Nevertheless I think most people would google a prospective name before giving it to a child.

I just googled 'Genghis' to see what came up and there is a long list of links about the Mongol emperor.

LBFseBrom · 28/03/2022 08:30

I just googled 'Genghis', without the 'Khan',, and what came up was a long list of links with information about Genghis Khan, so they have no excuse for pleading ignorant.

OverWorking9to5 · 28/03/2022 08:31

Does a registrar have the power to say "no, have you another name".

Ive heard of names with numbers being rejected but registrars have to accept whatever name they're given

Fivebeanchilli · 28/03/2022 08:31

Why are we saying that someone under 30 won't know who Genghis Khan is but those older will? It's not a cultural reference from the last few decades - he's a hugely famous historical figure. My teenagers would know who he was.

phoenixrosehere · 28/03/2022 08:40

Why are we saying that someone under 30 won't know who Genghis Khan is but those older will? It's not a cultural reference from the last few decades - he's a hugely famous historical figure. My teenagers would know who he was.

Hugely famous? Doubtful and people could still recognise the name and not recall fully what he did. There’s also people who simply would shrug about the name since it is a name of a person from centuries ago that people don’t have a visceral reaction to.

Hariboqueen1 · 28/03/2022 08:54

Ive never heard of him. I dont know why. I think its a horrid name though. Like gengar from Pokemon.

KateM91 · 28/03/2022 09:45

My sons middle name is Aryan, was going to be first but I said no I think people will say something when he gets older. He’s called Dylan instead ♥️😂

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