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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Is DH BIU- to talk with DSIL about planned baby name

677 replies

fringely · 26/03/2022 10:40

DSIL is 34 weeks pregnant with first DC.
A few weeks ago her and her DP announced the planned baby name.
The actual 'sound' of the name is fine, but it is heavily associated with something which DSIL and her DP were not really aware of. They have been made aware of the association since (as it's pretty common knowledge- not sure how they hadn't heard of it tbh!) but are of the opinion most people won't make the association. DH and I are of the other opinion that most people will definitely make the association, it's not a good association, and genuinely worry that it's not fair to give a baby that name and it's fully possible it could lead to bullying when older.

Whilst DP and strongly agree on the huge issue with the name and agree it's unfair to lumbar a baby with it, I don't think DH should say anything. DH thinks he should have a proper talk with her about his concerns on the name and why he doesn't think it's fair to give to a DN. I think nothing good will come and we should stay quiet.

(So far we have said very little about it. We were notably shocked when told what it was, and clarified 'X' as in X'?? But other than that have nodded and smiled).

OP posts:
LBFseBrom · 28/03/2022 09:51

@KateM91

My sons middle name is Aryan, was going to be first but I said no I think people will say something when he gets older. He’s called Dylan instead ♥️😂
Aryan is OK I think. It means: Noble and honourable. Said to be derived from the Sanskrit word "Arya" which means "a person of a noble race".

Dylan is great! Means 'son of the sea' or 'born from the ocean'. It's a very popular Welsh name and automatically brings to mind the poet, Dylan Thomas, and of course my hero, Bob Dylan.

LBFseBrom · 28/03/2022 09:53

@Mamanyt

If it's "Donald," make sure that child NEVER comes to the USA!
Why? There are more Donalds than Trump. Donald Duck for a start :-). I always think, 'Don', is a friendly diminutive. You don't hear of children being called that nowadays but no doubt it will come back into fashion.
TonytheDog · 28/03/2022 09:56

Do you think your SIL has chosen it because she thinks it's 'unusual' and therefore 'cool'. It's totally unfair to name their child this name and I can't understand what reason anyone would have to think this is an acceptable name for their child. I agree you have to intervene.

LBFseBrom · 28/03/2022 09:57

@phoenixrosehere

Why are we saying that someone under 30 won't know who Genghis Khan is but those older will? It's not a cultural reference from the last few decades - he's a hugely famous historical figure. My teenagers would know who he was.

Hugely famous? Doubtful and people could still recognise the name and not recall fully what he did. There’s also people who simply would shrug about the name since it is a name of a person from centuries ago that people don’t have a visceral reaction to.

Most people would know something about him but do folks not research a name before bestowing it on their innocent baby?
steppemum · 28/03/2022 10:28

I think this is actually a really interesting thread.

I lived in Central Asia for a number of years. The (extrememly large) people group I worked with are one of the nations descended from Ghengis Khan.
They see him as the father of nations, a national hero and his name and image are on the up. There are many depictions of him in statues and murals, and naming your child Ghengis would be seen as naming him after a hero.

While I accept that he was one of the more violent men in history, I am not sure why his name is considered to be so much worse than say the names of Roman Emperors; the names of British Kings/Queens in whose name millions have suffered in the empire; the names of other major military leaders eg Alexander the Great; the names of the Spanish who are responsible for wiping out large chunks of the population of South America etc.
It seems to me that there is a bit of cultural choosing going on here.

On the other hand, I don't like the sound of the name, and it is actually a mispronounciation/anglicisation that they have chosen anyway, and it always seems odd to me for a couple to choose a name which has such strong cultural heritage when they have no links to that culture.

NameChange30 · 28/03/2022 10:46

Genghis is not even a name though, is it? As a PP pointed out, it was his title, not his actual first name.

It's like calling a child "King", "Emperor", "Ruler", "Monarch" or something.

OverWorking9to5 · 28/03/2022 10:48

Wrt Donald, i had a lovely uncle Donald. Also, have a good friend close to my own age and her older brother is a Donald. He is 54 maybe so hardly an OLD man. Quite young for a Donald. I actually had it on my list for my son! But my Dad's family is Scottish and all the men in the family got Scottish names.

TatianaBis · 28/03/2022 10:50

I agree @steppemum about lack of cultural link, but other than that it’s a bit of a storm in a teacup.

winnieanddaisy · 28/03/2022 10:51

Marlena ?

OverWorking9to5 · 28/03/2022 10:52

And Donal the Irish version of Donald is so close in spelling and has none of the trump association. I think Donald is due a comeback tbh

All of the names my x MOCKED me for wanting 20 years ago have become so much more popular! I can feeel (checks boobs - karen smith from mean girls style) when names are coming back.

winnieanddaisy · 28/03/2022 10:52

Not Marlena but Melena . Bloody poo !

Original poster
fringely · 28/03/2022 11:24

@TatianaBis

I agree *@steppemum* about lack of cultural link, but other than that it’s a bit of a storm in a teacup.
How's it a storm in a teacup? We've said nothing, just asking for opinions anonymously
OP posts:
KateM91 · 28/03/2022 11:25

Yes I found out what Dylan means after I decided I liked it. He loves water so it suits him. I say it’s because of Bob Dylan or Dylan Sprouse but really I liked it from rugrats 😂 Tommy’s little brother is called Dil and I always thought it was short for Dylan 😂. My husband is Indian and that’s where Aryan came from. Most people we told didn’t know what it meant and didn’t connect it to anything sinister but it just takes one kid to tell their parents and for them to say anything, then the kid would obviously go back to school and say it so I was like no maybe not!

TatianaBis · 28/03/2022 11:37

How's it a storm in a teacup? We've said nothing, just asking for opinions anonymously

The reaction on the thread. It’s not that big a deal.

GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 28/03/2022 13:35

@fringely

"Actually' it really is none of your business. Yet you have made it all about you. Well done.

phoenixrosehere · 28/03/2022 14:51

Most people would know something about him but do folks not research a name before bestowing it on their innocent baby?

Many do and many can also love a name so much they don’t care. How many people do you know go around asking or caring what another person’s name mean? Also, as another poster pointed out, many notable historical figures did similar to Ghengis yet people have no issue looking past them and naming their children after them. Many common names don’t have great meanings either and I say this as someone whose job was to research actual name meanings and origins.

Original poster
fringely · 28/03/2022 15:12

[quote GreenFingersWouldBeHandy]@fringely

"Actually' it really is none of your business. Yet you have made it all about you. Well done.[/quote]
GrinGrin are you like this in real life?

OP posts:
steppemum · 28/03/2022 15:45

@NameChange30

Genghis is not even a name though, is it? As a PP pointed out, it was his title, not his actual first name.

It's like calling a child "King", "Emperor", "Ruler", "Monarch" or something.

yes, and there are many other Ghengis's in history. In the same way that Roman emperors were called Caesar, but if you say it, most people think of Julius Caesar.

But given that Prince and Princess and Queenie are all used as names, there is no reason why not.

Crunchymum · 28/03/2022 15:51

Given they have no cultural links to the name, I'd think they were a pair of fuckwits if I met them and introduced me to baby Genghis.

It's not even a nice sounding name?

I hope poor little Genghis has a nice middle name as I reckon he'll be using it by reception.

LBFseBrom · 28/03/2022 16:11

I didn't know Genghis was not his name; I know Khan means 'great ruler'. His 'surname' was something beginning with T before he became the Great Khan.

There are plenty of unpleasant people and have been throughout history but many have quite ordinary names by UK standards. I mean, nobody would bat an eyelid at a George or Richard; 'Genghis' may be fine as a name if the family lived somewhere else, but not here.

Hopefully the parents will change their minds before having their baby.

Baggins15 · 28/03/2022 16:40

I knew someone who called their daughter Isis and has issues when ordering personalised stuff etc ...I would definitely think twice before giving a child a name with chance of bullying ..especially if well known , ..but would just say have you really thought about the child growing up ? .I know I would want someone to tell me x

browneyes77 · 28/03/2022 16:52

@Treebranches

Blink twice if it’s Voldemort.
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
browneyes77 · 28/03/2022 17:04

@sweeneytoddsrazor

Despite having watched all the Omen films the name Damien always makes me think of Delboy. I love Lilith that would be an awesome name.
I recall Rodney’s reaction to Del Boy calling his child Damien, was one of fear 😂
browneyes77 · 28/03/2022 17:23

@fringely

Ok I'm kinda done here. The name is Genghis.
Dammit! I was really hoping it was Optimus Prime 😂
browneyes77 · 28/03/2022 17:42

[quote LBFseBrom]I agree, NancyDrawn. If their ethnicity is such that it's quite a commonly used name, that's fine, but not for here in the UK.

Here he is having an Excellent Adventure with Bill and Ted:

[/quote] This was actually the first image I had in my head when OP said the name 😂😂