Is DH BIU- to talk with DSIL about planned baby name

[fringely]

DSIL is 34 weeks pregnant with first DC.
A few weeks ago her and her DP announced the planned baby name.
The actual 'sound' of the name is fine, but it is heavily associated with something which DSIL and her DP were not really aware of. They have been made aware of the association since (as it's pretty common knowledge- not sure how they hadn't heard of it tbh!) but are of the opinion most people won't make the association. DH and I are of the other opinion that most people will definitely make the association, it's not a good association, and genuinely worry that it's not fair to give a baby that name and it's fully possible it could lead to bullying when older.

Whilst DP and strongly agree on the huge issue with the name and agree it's unfair to lumbar a baby with it, I don't think DH should say anything. DH thinks he should have a proper talk with her about his concerns on the name and why he doesn't think it's fair to give to a DN. I think nothing good will come and we should stay quiet.

(So far we have said very little about it. We were notably shocked when told what it was, and clarified 'X' as in X'?? But other than that have nodded and smiled).

But if it is Damien the OP and her husband are being ridiculous. Such a bog standard name.

I have a feeling the name is Madeline. Its such a pretty name, and hugely connected to Madeline Mc can. In that case I would say to still use it. There's less publicity and rarely spoken about today.

I would see no problem with Madeleine and wouldn't even necessarily think of the McCann family, it's a relatively common name and they don't own it. There are very few names that are so irretrievably tainted by association with one person that you literally can't use them. Otherwise things get ridiculous, any common name is probably shared by someone notorious somewhere.

I also think Damien is fine fwiw, I've known several Damiens in my life. You'll probably get a few Omen jokes but not nearly as many as you would have in the past, it's an old film now and many younger people won't have that cultural knowledge of it.

I’m pretty sure the name is Cain. Googling it brings up only the famous bearer of the name and it’s entrenched in cultural history since forever - very like Judas.

the literal meaning of Madeline is 'little girl'

No, it isn’t.

Madeleine is from Magdalene, which means “woman of Magdala” and “tower”, “great” and “elevated”

@Beautiful3

I have a feeling the name is Madeline. Its such a pretty name, and hugely connected to Madeline Mc can. In that case I would say to still use it. There's less publicity and rarely spoken about today.

What negative associations are there with Madeline? It’s a lovely name. And unusual, really. Admittedly, it is linked to Mary Magdalen, who is linked to sin in the Bible, before being redeemed

IVFConfusion do you seriously think people in Europe are going to forget negative connections with the word swastika anytime soon.

Felicia?

Is it Lucifer?

Ok actually I take back what I said, after googling “mumsnet lucifer” it seems that I think it could quite possibly be Lucifer.

In which case I really think they need to reconsider.

Google Tobin which has been mentioned on the thread

Well here's all the potential boy's names mentioned on the thread up to the point OP said the name had already been mentioned. So it's one of these. I admit there's some stinkers in there, but also some which are fine. I'm struggling to see how the name could be so bad and yet DSIL not be aware of it though.

Adolf
Vladimir
Sadam
Bukkake
Fred
Harold
Peter
Isis
Lucifer
Jesus
Mohammed
Stalin
Pol Pot
Mussolini
Osama
Charlie
Nosferatu
Noddy
Bing
Optimus Prime
Nazi
Boris
Casanova
Salome
Donald
Andrew
Voldemort
Cain
Damien
Ebenezer
Swastika
Satan
Saxon
Oedipus
Mordor
Sauron
Brutus
Putin
Vlad
Josef
Levi
Pontius Pilate
Lenin
Mitler
Genghis
Tobin
Jimmy
Beelzebub
Rumplestiltskin
Hades

I've read all the OP's posts. She doesn't specify that the baby is a boy?

@GrannyOfDragons

Google Tobin which has been mentioned on the thread

I did, and I see it's the surname of a serial killer which I wasn't aware of. And also the surname of a famous economist apparently.

I feel like if most people would have to google the name to understand the negative connotation then it's actually fine? What you don't want is a name that makes people reel with horror as soon as they hear it, but if it takes research - which most people won't do - to understand why it's a "bad" name then it's not really such a problem. Lots of common names are shared by serial killers and other despicable people but aren't ruined or aren't the first thing people think of when they hear the name. Or no one could ever call their kid Jack.

@MurderAtTheBeautyPageant the OP says ‘his’ in one of her posts

@MurderAtTheBeautyPageant

I've read all the OP's posts. She doesn't specify that the baby is a boy?

I took it that the baby was a boy because the op said this in one of her posts: "I'm not talking about something like 'Myra' where the child's generation likely won't remember Myra Hindley. This association will be there his whole life."

I'm dying to know what the name is and I am not usually nosy. I've been wracking my brains for names of dictators and devilish people.

If it's a girl it's one of these

Myra
Alexa
Jezebel
Lilith
Lolita
Mary Jane
Molly
Karen
Medea
Jocasta
Pandora
Ophelia
Rose
Antimony
Enola Gay
Cruella
Delilah
Roxanne
Electra
Ghislaine
Jade
Madeleine

Imho the only two on this list that are irredeemable are Lolita and Enola Gay.

@Blimecory

I’m pretty sure the name is Cain. Googling it brings up only the famous bearer of the name and it’s entrenched in cultural history since forever - very like Judas.

There are two Cain's in my DS class (one spelled Kane) and I have known a dozen more in my life (Cain, Caine, Kaine, Kain, and Kane spellings) it's hardly an out there bizarre name.

I can also tell you the association my teen DS and his friends have with the name is the footballer 'Harry Kane' and my DS goes to a catholic school with 'Cain from the bible' not even being the main assosiation lol.

Very few of both lists are irredeemable. I like quite a few of them. I really don't know why Cain is on there other than the spelling. There are so many boys with that name usually spelling it Kane, very few people would associate it with the biblical Cain.

Cain isn't a name I'd choose but I don't think it's that bad, and wouldn't stand out or be particularly unusual compared to some names people use these days.

Adolf, Lucifer, Swastika, Satan and Lolita are b.a.d.

Everything else seems perfectly acceptable when contrasted with those horrors.

SevenWaystoLeave thanks for taking the time to list them.

To be honest seeing them written down I'm now even more convinced this name isn't as abhorrent as the OP is claiming. I highly suspect it wouldn't even register on most people's radars and will just become associated with this child hence why the OP was so reluctant to actually give the name.

@Changechangychange

Charlie = cocaine Molly = ecstasy Mary Jane = marijuana

My money is still on Jezebel

Blimey I’m naïve these days…didn’t know any of these 🤷🏼‍♀️😳

Really hoping it's Noddy.

@Ratatoo

Really hoping it's Noddy.

Brilliant! Although not necessarily an evil character?.....