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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think this woman should take her dog out of the cafe?

131 replies

MaMaLa321 · 28/01/2022 16:30

So, I'm in a cafe yesterday, eating lunch. Dogs are allowed, which is OK with me, and there are several, sitting quietly by their owners.
Except one, that keeps on doing that piercing high pitched yap, randomly. The owner, every time, looks lovingly at the dog, and says 'shush' . An the dog does it again. And again.
For about 20 minutes, when she finishes her lunch and leaves.
There is outside seating and AIBU to think that she should go outside.

OP posts:
SirChenjins · 28/01/2022 16:38

How often did it yap - was it continuously for 20 minutes, or a few times during the 20 minutes? If continuously then yes, going outside would have been mannerly.

I took ChenPup out for lunch today to a dog friendly pub - he did bark a few times (less than 5). Otoh, the man a couple of tables up from us talked loudly on his mobile phone pretty much the whole time and a young child was shouting in the way toddlers do. A bit of give and take is sometimes required, esp in a dog and family friendly place.

PinkSparklyPussyCat · 28/01/2022 16:38

I was going to say YABU until I read about the yapping. If she can't keep her dog quiet then she should sit outside, not let it yap and annoy everyone else.

I had something similar at the vets a couple of weeks ago. I was sitting there with my cat in his basket, both minding our own business, and a woman came in with a small yappy dog. Now I know this happens at the vets but she didn't even try to calm her dog or keep him on a short lead. It upset the other dogs in the waiting room and the final straw was when the stupid cow let him jump up at my cat's basket.

I like dogs a lot and would have one if I could but, like children, they need boundaries!

sparepantsandtoothbrush · 28/01/2022 16:39

My own dog does that and it pisses me off. There's no way I'd assume anyone else needs or wants to hear it!

Yanbu

KarmaStar · 28/01/2022 16:49

I'd much rather listen to that than a screaming fed up/spoilt/ignored baby or toddler.
Why shouldn't she look lovingly at her dog?
You don't know why the dog was making a noise.
You should have gone outside of you didn't like it.
She wasn't ignoring her dog just reassuring him.
🐶🐕🐶🐕🐶🐕🐶🐕🐶🐕🐶🐕🐶🐕🐶🐕🐶🐕

3scape · 28/01/2022 16:50

I'm not a fan of pets in cafe spaces but if it's a pet friendly one then I guess that's to be expected and she's probably "training" it up to behave?

shouldistop · 28/01/2022 16:51

@KarmaStar how do you spoil a baby or toddler Confused

AutumnLeaves21 · 28/01/2022 16:52

@KarmaStar I’d rather listen to neither! Why would it be a choice?! Screaming babies, yapping dogs, loud phone talkers-all have no place in an enclosed public space.

Imissmoominmama · 28/01/2022 16:53

So should she have spoken sharply to it? Would that have made you feel better, or worse?

Wafflesnsniffles · 28/01/2022 17:13

Sounds no different to the sort of person who thinks no one else minds if they watch stuff on a screen without headphones on a train/bus.

If my dog yapped I wouldnt go and sit in a cafe with it. Not unless I had been able to train it not to yap.

Its so annoying for other customers to have to have their snack/meal out ruined by your precious yappy dog or shouty child or noisy screen.

Oti22 · 28/01/2022 17:14

Depends on how much he barked really (continuously for 20 minutes than maybe if only because the dogs probably not happy) but it’s a dog friendly cafe and dogs bark like babies cry and you wouldn’t expect them to have to go outside.

We’ve had to do a good amount of training with ours to be settled in cafes/pubs. We usually go in for a quick drink at a quiet time, bring treats, a firm ‘no’ when he barks then build it up slowly to be able to eat a meal there. He’s now 10 months settles well in 5/6 familiar places with no barking. In new places he may bark a few times if it’s busy, I apologise if he does it more than once and have said to staff we’d sit outside but everybody’s always been lovely and generally people in dog friendly cafes love and understand dogs! It’s also not great for a dog friendly cafes reputation to turf out a dog because it barked.

ClaudiaWankleman · 28/01/2022 17:19

If she can't keep her dog quiet then she should sit outside, not let it yap and annoy everyone else.

I feel the same about children but we don't chuck them outside.

YABU. A dog yapped intermittently for 20 minutes. It wouldn't bother me.

RunningFromInsanity · 28/01/2022 17:19

I think if it’s a dog friendly cafe then you have to accept all dogs and their behaviours. Including the ones that yap.

Boomboomackalackalackaboom · 28/01/2022 17:31

Someone posted on our areas Nextdoor app for recommendations of dog friendly cafes & pubs to eat in.

I now know which ones to avoid.

Our last meal out was ruined by a yappity dog. It wasn’t even somewhere you could walk to -who puts their dog in a car to drive for several miles to go to a pub?! Confused
YANBU to want to eat in peace.

Whammyyammy · 28/01/2022 17:34

I'm a dog lover and have dogs myself, but this would of pissed me off.

StoneofDestiny · 28/01/2022 17:39

Of course they should have been outside. How can you enjoy your meal/coffee with that going on. I'd have left.

SmolCat · 28/01/2022 17:41

Our last meal out was ruined by a yappity dog. It wasn’t even somewhere you could walk to -who puts their dog in a car to drive for several miles to go to a pub?!
People who have a dog with separation anxiety probably. This doesn’t excuse the noise though.

LaurieFairyCake · 28/01/2022 17:42

No, loads of people make noise in cafes

Unless it was continuous then no, it's literally a public place and not a library

SmolCat · 28/01/2022 17:42

I think it’s a dog friendly cafe some dog noise is to be expected. It depends how much it was barking really.

EmpressCixi · 28/01/2022 17:42

YABU
It’s a dog friendly cafe and dogs talk by yapping, if you don’t like it go to one of the thousands of no dogs allowed cafes.

StoneofDestiny · 28/01/2022 17:45

Dog shit everywhere now loud yapping in the cafe. Geezo is there no end to it.

Ionlydomassiveones · 28/01/2022 17:52

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn at the poster's request.

SmolCat · 28/01/2022 17:56

Dogs have no business being in bloody cafes and restaurants anyway.

It was literally a dog friendly cafe.

TrashyPanda · 28/01/2022 17:59

No different to a crying child in terms of effect on other people.

I wouldn’t complain about a child crying or a dog barking occasionally.

Anyone using a device (phone, IPad, Nintendo Switch etc) with the sound on in a public place is a different matter. They have made a deliberate choice to be anti-social. They get told to use headphones or turn the sound off

MissPiggy5 · 28/01/2022 18:04

Don't get me started....I'm allergic to dogs, just do not understand how this all started, it's so unhygienic. I've tolerated it so much as I realise I'm in a minority now, but have complained to the management, and in one case Environmental Health, when I've seen dogs being allowed to sit on chairs, or worse, eat food from the table (gross) but am always met with indifference.

I hope I'm not alone but not holding my breath here Hmm

PinkSyCo · 28/01/2022 18:08

If the dog was continuously yapping then you might have a point, but just as you might have to put some with some irritating noise inside a child friendly venue you shouldn’t be too surprised of the same problem inside a dog friendly one.