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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think this woman should take her dog out of the cafe?

131 replies

MaMaLa321 · 28/01/2022 16:30

So, I'm in a cafe yesterday, eating lunch. Dogs are allowed, which is OK with me, and there are several, sitting quietly by their owners.
Except one, that keeps on doing that piercing high pitched yap, randomly. The owner, every time, looks lovingly at the dog, and says 'shush' . An the dog does it again. And again.
For about 20 minutes, when she finishes her lunch and leaves.
There is outside seating and AIBU to think that she should go outside.

OP posts:
northumberlandavenue · 29/01/2022 09:41

Well behaved dogs welcomed, not the one you describe OP. I realise embarrassing for the dog's keeper, but still should have gone outside.

FlasherMcGruff · 29/01/2022 10:52

I think that when dogs, babies and small children are allowed in places where others are trying to relax / work / think and which aren’t predominantly geared towards pets and kids then the onus is on the accompanying adult to ensure that they don’t cause disturbance to others. Lovely dog sitting quietly - super. Yapping dog annoying people - no. Nice child sitting colouring in at the restaurant table - great. Screaming child or one running around - nope.

So YANBU.

XenoBitch · 29/01/2022 10:56

YANBU
Dogs in cafes do not bother me, but a small yapping one would. If it is yapping, then it is not happy being there, and I would imagine it was embarrassing for the owner too.

VickyEadieofThigh · 29/01/2022 10:59

We once got asked to leave - when sitting outside - because our elderly (and at the time, close to her death) dog was being "too noisy." We explained her situation but the owner wasn't having it!

I should add that it was not a street cafe - it was one by our local lake. But their rules are their rules.

Suzanne999 · 29/01/2022 11:06

Noisy dogs don’t belong in a cafe / restaurant/ anywhere indoors where they’re annoying people.
My 12 year old lab will lie quietly where she’s told. She might snore though. Up til she was about 4 she was too boisterous and bouncy to take anywhere except open fields so never inflicted on others.
Selfish owner.

Sedai · 29/01/2022 11:44

I think if it's dog friendly, you're taking the risk. It's like going into a family restaurant and yapping about kids being loud. It happens.

vickyc90 · 29/01/2022 14:12

YABU you could have chosen somewhere that doesn't allow dogs if it bothers you. We go to garden centre cafes with dogs and kid friendly pubs with our son because we know he is welcome there even if he does make a bit of noise.

If you want a quite 5 star experience book something with a Michelin star. Other wise if your going to Zizzi and the like expect to hear people have fun and kids enjoying a night out. Like wise if you go to a dog friendly cafe expect to hear some yapping they are dogs. Also expect to hear a lot of ohhh isn't he/she cute, how old is he/she etc dog owners are generally a social bunch!

Halfabag · 29/01/2022 14:28

@vickyc90 not wanting yapping dogs or screaming kids running round is basic manners, hardly a standard reserved for Michelin starred places Confused and people having fun and socialising is a welcome and expected noise usually whereas when they start shrieking and drunk it becomes a pain.

Mercurial123 · 29/01/2022 14:33

It would be great if we could ask crying babies, noisy children, people being loud and obnoxious on their phone or not having earphones whilst looking at screens to go outside. Never going to happen so yes YABU.

vickyc90 · 29/01/2022 14:37

[quote Halfabag]@vickyc90 not wanting yapping dogs or screaming kids running round is basic manners, hardly a standard reserved for Michelin starred places Confused and people having fun and socialising is a welcome and expected noise usually whereas when they start shrieking and drunk it becomes a pain.[/quote]
Maybe we have just found our ideal places, the country pub local to us has a kids play place outside and the kids often know each other so do wander round to talk to this one and that one. Dogs are allowed in the bar of that one and the blokes playing darts or pool make more noise than a yapping dog any day but it adds the atmosphere.

Chain places to us have always been young families earlier in the evening so not surprised if a baby cries or a toddler has a melt down. Generally in the evening it's young couples out on dates or groups of friends having a meal before drinks so it's not a quite affair. I can't imagine 10-15 of us round a table with wine and food is quite to outsiders. If I wanted a romantic quite meal it's not somewhere I would pick. Like wise if we do go in to grab something say before the cinema I'm never bothered by other groups making a lot of noise having fun as that's the vibe of the place.

It sounds like the vibe of the cafe in the OP is like our local which we love, yes dogs and puppies yap, but I'm more likely to ask for a cheeky stroke of said dog than twist they are making a noise.

Eviebea · 29/01/2022 14:42

@MissPiggy5

Don't get me started....I'm allergic to dogs, just do not understand how this all started, it's so unhygienic. I've tolerated it so much as I realise I'm in a minority now, but have complained to the management, and in one case Environmental Health, when I've seen dogs being allowed to sit on chairs, or worse, eat food from the table (gross) but am always met with indifference.

I hope I'm not alone but not holding my breath here Hmm

Highly allergic to dogs too. I wouldn't go near a cafe with them around me. If I wasn't allergic to dogs and it was a dog friendly cafe I suppose yapping should be expected but I undesrand OP stance on it. 🤷‍♀️
Cinderella010 · 29/01/2022 14:47

Totally agree with you, I really hate this trend for dogs in cafes / restaurants - puts me off eating somewhere that’s dog friendly as I just think it’s so unhygienic.

Mercurial123 · 29/01/2022 14:58

@Cinderella010

Totally agree with you, I really hate this trend for dogs in cafes / restaurants - puts me off eating somewhere that’s dog friendly as I just think it’s so unhygienic.
What about children? They tend to be loud and unhygienic too.
HotelCaliforniaOnRepeat · 29/01/2022 15:00

@ClaudiaWankleman

If she can't keep her dog quiet then she should sit outside, not let it yap and annoy everyone else.

I feel the same about children but we don't chuck them outside.

YABU. A dog yapped intermittently for 20 minutes. It wouldn't bother me.

Actually I would remove my child if their behaviour was ruining the enjoyment of others, and have done so. Yapping dogs should absolutely be removed. Dog friendly does not mean everyone has to tolerate a noisy or disruptive dog that can behave as it likes with no adequate response from the owner. I have a dog, I like dogs at my workplace. Some of the owners less so. These are the people that ruin it for good dog owners.
SirChenjins · 29/01/2022 15:39

I see the OP hasn’t been back to confirm how much yapping we’re talking about. I think most people would tolerate a few yaps in 20 minutes in a dog friendly place, just as they would tolerate some noise from a toddler or some loud laughter from other customers - but not 20 minutes solid of any (looking at you, loud mouthed man who had a 30 minute long phone call on fucking speaker phone on a train I was on recently£

Cinderella010 · 29/01/2022 15:56

@Mercurial123 a dog is an animal, a child is a human…you can’t compare the two !!

I went to a restaurant where the waitress was stroking a dog then she started serving people drinks - that to me is unhygienic.

LadyCatStark · 29/01/2022 16:02

My dog hates barking so he’s have judged the yappy dog more than I would 😂. If he was a barker though, I’d take him out if he started just like I’d have taken DS out when he was little if he’d been a tantrummer.

Original poster
MaMaLa321 · 29/01/2022 16:16

crikey, I didn't realise I was supposed to report back on to confirm the amount of yapping. Thank you for pointing it out SirChenjins.
Unfortunately I didn't measure the frequency or the quantity. My bad.
Just persistent, irregular yapping.

OP posts:
Mercurial123 · 29/01/2022 16:20

"Mercurial123 a dog is an animal, a child is a human…you can’t compare the two !!"

True, dogs generally are more pleasant to be around. 🐕

vickyc90 · 29/01/2022 16:45

@Mercurial123

"Mercurial123 a dog is an animal, a child is a human…you can’t compare the two !!"

True, dogs generally are more pleasant to be around. 🐕

Your brave saying that on Mumsnet 🤣 very true tho.
XenoBitch · 29/01/2022 17:06

@Cinderella010

Totally agree with you, I really hate this trend for dogs in cafes / restaurants - puts me off eating somewhere that’s dog friendly as I just think it’s so unhygienic.
The dogs are not in the kitchen though. Do you think it is unhygienic to have a dog in the same room when eating food at home? It is the same thing.
Elphame · 29/01/2022 17:19

Just got back from lunch out with my two dogs (4 and 7 months). Neither made a peep for the whole time.

I'd rather listen to an occasional bark though than the awful muzak/radio some places like to inflict on their customers.

funinthesun19 · 29/01/2022 17:53

If it’s a dog friendly cafe then you’re gonna hear dog noises. I don’t like dogs at all and would probably be irritated by the noises they make too, but I know that if I went to a cafe that allows them then I’d have to sit and listen or leave.

Kind of like if people who don’t like children get irritated by the noises they make, find a cafe that doesn’t allow them or leave and have your lunch at home.

Halfabag · 29/01/2022 18:14

I do try to avoid dog friendly places but they’re becoming fewer and far between. This is in a city. Again, children are humans so noise from them is fine but if they get loud and irritating, take them out or tell them to behave. To an extent if we don’t socialise kids in these places they’re not going to learn how to behave there. I don’t see the purpose in dogs going out to restaurants. Although I can see it’s good that some places are dog friendly because there’s a market for it, it’s not unreasonable to not want to sit next to a yapping dog. It’s like going out even as a human, if you get rowdy, you get a warning or asked to quieten down, if you keep on being a nuisance you are asked to leave. Signs usually say well behaved dogs allowed. Surely people can use common sense and go out with their friends/family/toddlers/dogs and do something about it if one of those are being a pest to others. If you want to give your child a screen, fine, your call, but bring headphones. Or keep it right down. Nobody wants to go out to listen to Peppa Pig blaring from a tablet. Don’t let them run around a restaurant. Don’t change them at the table. If your dog yaps a couple of times, fair enough, if it’s more it’s obvious you should do something about it. Don’t let your dog lick the plate etc/sit their muddy bums on the seats. Or jump up at people in the place or beg for food. It’s about not being selfish.

Treacletoots · 29/01/2022 19:57

Brilliant. Person walks into a dog friendly establishment and complains that a dog there dared to make a noise.

If you don't like dogs, don't visit. Grin