24 y/o dd is autistic, she is high functioning but has a few sensory issues and struggles with mental health. She is fairly picky about clothes she’s wears and goes through periods of having a “comfort outfit” when her mental health is low. Recently her comfort item has been a pair of puma joggers.
Last night she did some washing and put said joggers in. I actually saw her taking them off and putting them into the washing machine so whether or not they were hers they’re the ones she’s been wearing. I came home from work today to her absolutely distraught because she went to take her clothes off the clothes horse and her joggers were missing, ds’ gf had hung some of her washing, and she is now wearing the same pair of joggers. I talked to gf and she says they’re hers, both dd and ds’ gf can show me proof of them buying the exact same joggers in the same size.
Dd wants me to make gf give them to her but I’m not willing to do that without any proof they aren’t hers. Gf emptied out the wardrobe and drawers to show me and dd that whilst she does have 2 pairs, they’re 2 different sizes so the joggers she’s wearing are definitely hers.
Dd is breaking her heart over this, saying she can’t go out with her friends today without them and she’s gonna call in sick to work at the weekend as she can’t wear anything else. She’s even gone as far as saying she wishes gf would go back to her own house and when I said that this is her home now she said well she wishes she’d just drop dead then (which I spoke to her about dw). She’s now crying her eyes out in her room and saying she wishes she was dead.
To save all this hassle I thought I’d just buy dd a couple of new pairs but they’re £35 for just one pair!! And then almost £6 for next day delivery to guarantee they’re here before she goes to work. I just can’t afford that right now and pay day isn’t for another 10 days! Dd also can’t afford to replace the joggers and she doesn’t get paid til the 15th.
I don’t know what I can do to fix this. I can’t demand gf hand over the joggers because they might belong to dd can I? But due to dds autism she probably isn’t going to move on from this for a while.
Just want to add after all that before anyone says anything due to how “dramatic” she’s being, I say dd is high functioning as that’s how she’s been labelled but I’ve suspected for a while she isn’t as functioning as she appears to be but has just adapted due to no-one suspecting autism until she was 13/14 and not getting an official asd diagnosis until she was 18.