Am I too thin skinned regarding this?

Youdoyoutoday · 27/01/2022 13:44

That sounds really off!

Echobelly · 27/01/2022 13:44

Yanbu - if he knows that is a point of unhappiness for you he shouldn't be doing that.

PrimroseBed · 27/01/2022 13:44

Wtf? I’m not surprised you’re angry.

1940s · 27/01/2022 13:45

It's a naff 'joke' in any scenario. But hugely hugely insensitive from your DH who should be more educated than most by knowing you and your feelings.

EezyOozy · 27/01/2022 13:46

Bloody hell Op, your husband sounds like a complete arsehole.

girlmom21 · 27/01/2022 13:47

What's the joke? Why's this funny? I could maybe potentially get it if his brothers going bald as cheap Afro wigs are easy to get hold of but even then it's a poor joke and definitely not a running gag.

LittleKitten1 · 27/01/2022 13:47

What on earth?! Why is an Afro wig funny to them firstly and why is your DH doing this knowing you have Afro hair (he shouldn't do it anyway, of course, but in front of you just adds to this being awful). YANBU.

ladygaga14 · 27/01/2022 13:48

@roundthew

I am mixed race, half African, and have coarse afro hair. My hair has always been a huge insecurity of mine and H knows it.

My husband (fully white) has offered an afro wig to his brother for his birthday as a joke gift and his whole family has been passing it around, taking pictures with it and have laughed about it for days.
My husband thinks it’s so funny he should make it sort of a tradition and give afro wigs to all his family members on their birthdays

AIBU to be a bit hurt about it?

I agree, that's really insensitive on your husbands behalf. Especially if he knows your insecure about your hair (which sounds lovely btw)

Mummytobe93 · 27/01/2022 13:49

I’d be horrified!

Mummytobe93 · 27/01/2022 13:50

Some people are just ignorant/insensitive , I’d have a word with DH.

sparepantsandtoothbrush · 27/01/2022 13:50

That's awful behaviour. Have you told him it's upset you? Not that you should have to even have to tell him as he shouldn't have done it in the first place

SelfIdentifiedRightsHoarder · 27/01/2022 13:51

Even if you weren't insecure about your hair it's at worst racist, and at best a very unfunny joke. Yanbu at all

CounsellorTroi · 27/01/2022 13:51

You are not being thin skinned. It’s really bloody awful of him.

whatinthenameofhen · 27/01/2022 13:53

What bizarre behaviour.

I would talk to him about it, tell him exactly how it makes you feel. You feel hurt. This is a legitimate feeling. You shouldn't have to doubt yourself.

sadpapercourtesan · 27/01/2022 13:53

WTF?! He's a vile, racist arsehole who doesn't care about you at all. His family are no better. I'm so sorry

Original poster

roundthew · 27/01/2022 13:54

Thank you all for your messages. I will definitely have a word with him if he keeps bringing the wig up.

I know he’ll probably say that I’m being overly sensitive and talk about people who complain about cultural appropriation (he doesn’t believe it’s really a thing) or compare it to black women wearing weaves.
I’m avoiding the subject now because I know his response would probably piss me off even more lol

OP posts:

minou123 · 27/01/2022 13:56

What the actual fuck?

No, you're not thin skinned. This is upsetting.

How would he like it if you picked something he was insecure about, and then you made endless jokes with your whole family about it?

Knobhead

Sally872 · 27/01/2022 13:56

It isn't funny. Even if he found it funny he should have the common decency to know it could be offensive. Even if know common decency he should have known it is hurtful to you. Inconsiderate at best, deliberately unkind more likely. Yanbu

Original poster

roundthew · 27/01/2022 13:56

@minou123

What the actual fuck?

No, you're not thin skinned. This is upsetting.

How would he like it if you picked something he was insecure about, and then you made endless jokes with your whole family about it?

Knobhead

That’s a good point

OP posts:

andysgirl22 · 27/01/2022 13:57

I honestly don't understand why that would be funny? I also think if it was someone else vaguely connected to you that had done this we might all be auspecting them of being bullying toward you. I'm sorry op and genuinely think you should hold your beautiful head and hair high. Please try to remember that an in security we feel is not the opinion of other people. Hope that makes sense and i understand more than you know as have always had a big in security over my own hair arising from a very similar reason. Much love and positive thoughts op x

andysgirl22 · 27/01/2022 13:57

I honestly don't understand why that would be funny? I also think if it was someone else vaguely connected to you that had done this we might all be auspecting them of being bullying toward you. I'm sorry op and genuinely think you should hold your beautiful head and hair high. Please try to remember that an in security we feel is not the opinion of other people. Hope that makes sense and i understand more than you know as have always had a big in security over my own hair arising from a very similar reason. Much love and positive thoughts op x

whatinthenameofhen · 27/01/2022 13:58

Would he think blackface is appropriate? Same thing. He's being a dick.

OrderInTheCourt · 27/01/2022 13:59

I’m avoiding the subject now because I know his response would probably piss me off even more lol

That’s not a laugh out loud statement.

(Unless you mean lol: lots of love)

GeneGenie123 · 27/01/2022 13:59

So sorry your husband (and his family!) are so insensitive. Of course cultural appropriation is a thing!
Just from your second post it sounds like you have started to ‘check-out’ of the relationship and frankly I don’t blame you.

andysgirl22 · 27/01/2022 14:00

How is it comparable to black women wearing weaves ?!?!?! Not funny either and in no way the same.