Chanel on play dates

[Christmasadverthell]

Went to one of my regular play dates with my Ds, 3 yesterday and noticed again the number of beautiful Chanel bags, designer sandals etc etc. Lovely, down to earth mums, nice friends, but I’m just not in the same league with my Zara bag & trainers
Aibu in feeling a bit shit about it 🤷🏻‍♀️

I have a couple of posh bags which I love, but when I use them I sometimes worry that other people will think I am judging them - I worry that they will judge me for having a posh bag! I also have plenty of clothes & accessories from Tesco. Today I am mostly dressed in M&S. Silly how we tie ourselves in knots over these meaningless things, isn't it?

I’m going to reveal myself for the snob that I am - I’d think they were suckers for wasting their money on high end labels!

I'm probably more likely to have an ASDA George and Matalan bag than Zara, never mind designer 😂

[quote Christmasadverthell]@CaMePlaitPas I’m not in the U.K.[/quote]
This explains it.... I don't think I've noticed anyone with a Chanel bag at a ball pool!

Who cares?

@2typesofjungle

Yabu to think these women look at you and your stuff and judge you for it, they probably couldn't really care less what shoes you are wearing.

But YANBU to judge them for excessively wasteful spending and poor taste either.

@Christmasadverthell

Eurgh..it probably makes me sound ridiculous and I’m honestly not shallow in any way, but I’d really sometimes just like beautiful things!

But are they beautiful or are they just expensive? I always think of the Ab Fab episode when Saffy gives Edina an ugly piece of LaCroix jewellery. Edina is ecstatic and then wary that it may be fake. "It is LaCroix isn't it sweetie? You didn't just buy something and put it in a LaCroix box?" "Do you like it mum?" "I like it if it's LaCroix darling!" Nicely sums up people who are into designer labels.

If lots of the mums have designer bags it's because they think they're making a statement. They are - 'I'm a sheep'

Does it really matter?

@butterpuffed

If lots of the mums have designer bags it's because they think they're making a statement. They are - 'I'm a sheep'

Women are allowed to spend money on whatever they want. For some it’s designer handbags and for others it may be tech or jewellry. No need to pass judgement.

Don't get sucked in!!!!

They might be in debt for all you know.

@lateforschool

I’m going to reveal myself for the snob that I am - I’d think they were suckers for wasting their money on high end labels!

I hope you feel the same about men who spend the same amount of money on tech. Or is it just women who you think don’t know how to spend their money properly? Honestly the misogyny on this thread is disgusting.

I’d bet my house that 9/10 of their Chanel bags are fake. If I had a real one, would I use it for play dates? No.

Really don't give it a second thought. It's not so much a reflection of wealth as it is of priorities. Some people prioritise owning such things and others just don't....most designer handbags are made in China these days so in reality they are probably not that much better than a good cheap one.

@19lottie82

I’d bet my house that 9/10 of their Chanel bags are fake. If I had a real one, would I use it for play dates? No.

You would if you could afford them in the way that OP says they can.

What's the point in spending hundreds or thousands on something you won't get loads of use out of?

@Ozanj

Oh, give over. It has squat to do with misogyny and yes, I think men who buy expensive cars, tech etc are stupid and wasting their money too.
Misogyny (and capitalism) is making women feel they have to splash out on these things to be "in"/fashionable/desirable.

Most “ordinary” people who wear designer gear are simply wearing good knock offs! In fact I know plenty of people who could afford it but still wear knock offs. You can buy absolutely spot on balenciaga sock trainers for about £30 for example, if you know where to look.

Are you in Dubai or UAE OP?

I've got a friend now moved back to UK but when she lived there (she worked as a nursery nurse) she said often felt pressure to have/display the designer labels to keep up with the mums on playdates or wherever. I think she's relieved now she's moved back home and kids grown up so she doesn't need to do this.

BoredZelda I was going to say exactly the same thing !

I would put good money on most being fakes.
Do you know how hard to get and expensive most Chanel bags are?

I have quite a few Mulberry bags etc. They are all 15-20 years old, back pre children when I spent money on such things.

I wouldn't spend £50 on a bag now but all my lovely bags are still new looking even though I use them every day.

I honestly couldn't care less. I enjoyed them when I had stacks of spare cash, now use them because they're also practical and I'm too tight to buy new. I imagine 95% of people wouldn't have a clue what make they are or how much they cost.

Tbh I think you're probably judging yourself/your friends more than they are judging you. They probably have no interest in where your clothes are from

When my kids were younger there were a lot of people who were way better dressed than me, better holidays etc, but I worked part time so I could be around for my kids whilst almost without exception they worked full time and the kids were in wraparound care.

It’s choices

@19lottie82

I’d bet my house that 9/10 of their Chanel bags are fake. If I had a real one, would I use it for play dates? No.

I use a Celine bag as a change bag. It is nearly 10 years old and still looks brand new. I also have a similarly aged Mulberry bag that I use occasionally. That’s all I have in terms of bags. By spending roughly 1.5k on each bag the cost of them comes down to approx 150 each per year. I know women who buy cheap bags every year who spend way more than that.

How have you ended up in a friendship group with people whose lifestyles are so different to your own? I can imagine a group having one or two very well off people but for them all to be so much more wealthy than you is unusual. What’s the background? Your kids must be young if you are doing play dates so can’t be that you have a child with a scholarship to an exclusive school.