To ask your favourite passive aggressive email sayings

[amazeandastonish]

I have irritating colleagues, as I'm sure we all do, and whilst I'd love nothing more than to say something like "fuck off", I obviously have to be more polite and professional.

So what are your favourite passive aggressive email sayings? Are there any I don't already know?

My favourite is "as per my last email"

Also someone in a previous job once signed off with "take care". Neither of us liked each other and I knew she really didn't mean

Apparently 'kind regards' means anything but, yet I'm not sure everyone realises that so I don't think that's really a PA saying!

"Happy to discuss" = "call me if you dare".

"Just a thought" I used that today!

Noted, thanks = Fuck you

I love a "polite reminder"

Kind regards is fine. Dropping the ‘kind’ means they have really pissed you off!

If you need any more information, please let me know = fuck off and stop asking stupid questions

Further to my earlier email = clearly you've not read my earlier email but let me explain it ALL again!

Yes, as above Kind regards is fine.

Regards.. You know you messed up!

I was going to say 'as per my last email'. How about 'As we've already discussed'. A simple 'Thanks' in the right place can also convey annoyance quite well.

If you would like me to go through this with you - Can you really not grasp the concept 🤦🏽‍♀️

@HeadNorth

Noted, thanks = Fuck you

Ha ha this is brilliant and so true

i used "As you may recall.." today, when wanting to say " you're a fucking idiot who I have already explained this to"

I hate this shit. Yes some of my colleagues can be annoying but I'm grown up enough to manage this without pass agg bollocks.

If you need any more information, please let me know = fuck off and stop asking stupid questions

Oh no, I say this all the time. Thought I was being helpful!

As previously discussed - I bloody well told you yesterday.

A close colleague always writes "please would you be kind enough to ". I cringe every time I read it as she really means in a polite way, but it certainly doesn't read that way!!

Please review and respond to the below at your earliest convenience

"Happy to discuss" = "call me if you dare".

Ha ha this is so true.

If you need assistance with this please let me know

Regards means they're literally seething

I have attached my previous email to help

@HeadNorth

Noted, thanks = Fuck you

So true.

I recieved that one the other day, I absolutely knew what they meant!

“I hope this makes sense” (because I suspect you are too stupid to grasp it)

A gentle reminder = just f'ing do it!

Warm regards is my usual email sign off. If I take the Warm off then you know you are in shit.

As per my previous email = I've already fucking told you this

To reiterate my point = how many fucking times do I need to tell you

Please see below -= we have already been through this dickhead

Please speak with X = they actually get it and can explain is dumb fuck terms for you

Please let me know if you have any queries = PLEASE DONT!

“As below” means “I have already explained this to you, you cretin.”

If I’m really, REALLY pissed off: “Regards.” No name afterwards, just a full stop.