To ask your favourite passive aggressive email sayings

[amazeandastonish]

I have irritating colleagues, as I'm sure we all do, and whilst I'd love nothing more than to say something like "fuck off", I obviously have to be more polite and professional.

So what are your favourite passive aggressive email sayings? Are there any I don't already know?

My favourite is "as per my last email"

Also someone in a previous job once signed off with "take care". Neither of us liked each other and I knew she really didn't mean

Apparently 'kind regards' means anything but, yet I'm not sure everyone realises that so I don't think that's really a PA saying!

I think 'noted' could be unsuitable in my workplace and definitely get a complaint of rudeness

Many of the others I have used

I don't like "circle back", I think that is more American

Oh, and “Hope that helps” = “You could have worked this out for yourself but I’ve had to explain it again. Did you want a diagram as well?”

@TwinklyBranch

"Happy to discuss" = "call me if you dare".

Really? I use happy to discuss (usually I'm happy to discuss x y and z) sometimes,and I always mean that I genuinely am happy to discuss. Is it only passive aggressive if said as just "happy to discuss"?

@Watto1

Kind regards is fine. Dropping the ‘kind’ means they have really pissed you off!

Oh my god yes! I do this if a certain person in my team has annoyed me. My other colleague said to me that is my polite way of saying "don't even think about emailing me again about this same subject"

'Many thanks' 😁

Oh my lord I hate these threads about email because I become consumed with paranoia that
a) Everyone hates me
b) Everyone thinks I hate them!

If I'm really, really pissed off I use names only.

Fred,
Please can I remind you to send your monthly return this morning?
Thank You

My usual emails are more friendly.

@Watto1

Kind regards is fine. Dropping the ‘kind’ means they have really pissed you off!

I have always ended my work emails with just Regards, Richard. Pretty sure people who has worked with me a while knows that and knows I'm not pissed off. Any new people will realise fairly quickly that it's my normal sign off (or maybe will just assume I am permanently pissed off )

"Best" as your sign off really means "see you in hell"

When I say Happy to discuss i mean Come and have a go if you think you’re hard enough

Oh no, I say 'many thanks' all the time and I thought that was normal!

@HeadNorth

Noted, thanks = Fuck you

🤣

@amazeandastonish

Oh no, I say 'many thanks' all the time and I thought that was normal!

I use it too, I’ve never meant it in a PA way!

GAH

I use some of these, and really don't have any hidden agenda.

I know someone who always says "just a gentle reminder that..." to give actual news! So like, "just a gentle reminder that we will be meeting at the bar for drinks at 8pm". I always read it in a tone like "ffs have you still not done that work I asked for"? But when she does it, she 100% does not mean it passive aggressively.

Like op, I'm a big fan of "per my last email".

Also, my secret fuck you is "kind regards".

Socially, if I switch from "love from Linsey" to "best wishes", you are dead to me.

When my boss writes 'Thanks' at the bottom of an email, you know you are in all colours of shit.

"Just following up..." - why the fuck hasn't this been done?!

"Let me know if I misunderstood" - I understood alright!

"Let me clarify..." - stop being stupid

@SuperheroBirds

“I hope this makes sense” (because I suspect you are too stupid to grasp it)

Another one I use completely genuinely, if I'm emailing about something confusing and am not sure my explanation is completely clear.

Hope that helps

Or even more passive aggressive - ‘HTH’

I hate these threads! I work in a school office and use 'noted, thanks' and 'Regards' all the time!

Do all the parents hate me?

‘I hope you are well’ at the beginning of an email = you won’t be if you don’t bloody do what I’ve asked 100 times already.

Gentle reminder
And
At your earliest convenience
.... hate them both

@BrightYellowDaffodil

Oh, and “Hope that helps” = “You could have worked this out for yourself but I’ve had to explain it again. Did you want a diagram as well?”

'Hope this helps' is my favourite!

On a more positive note - exclamation marks make everything better except I have to re-read emails before sending and weed a few out to avoid looking deranged.

Cracks me up as my mil who is not English signs off family emails with “regards” 😁