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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU just to chuck it all in the bin?

300 replies

fedupwithit8 · 28/09/2021 23:43

I have two kids under three, have been living in a pigsty for years and am desperate to declutter and live in a more orderly house. I finally got round to sorting out the babies stuff and have a huge pile of things we don’t need anymore - including clothes they’ve grown out of, toys they no longer use, random bits and pieces like car seat inserts, pram seat connectors and more.

I’m desperate to have a clearer, tidier house as we’re wallowing in crap we don’t use. But I simply don’t have time to sort it all out properly and take it to the appropriate places like the charity shop, the dump etc. I’ve been meaning to for months and it’s never happened because we’re just so busy.

AIBU to just shove it all in 5-6 bin bags and get rid? Or should I really try to sort it all properly and dispose of it in better ways so other could potentially make use of it?

OP posts:
worriedatthemoment · 28/09/2021 23:46

Try and sort if you can, maybe bag all rubbish and dumo as you will have to fo that anyway and bag rest for charity
So not much more work just dividing the bags

Djifunrsn · 28/09/2021 23:47

Yanbu. You need to get straight in order to keep it that way in the future. Guilt is a big factor when homes are cluttered.

savagebaggagemaster · 28/09/2021 23:47

I feel your pain. Been there too many times.
Charity shops don't want random bits of plastic pram connectors, etc. Bin all that kind of stuff. (In the correct recycling bin would be best)
Bag up all the clothes and put it one of the clothes bins at a supermarket or community recycling centre - that wouldn't take long, surely?
Anything else - bin it!!

Seriallover · 28/09/2021 23:48

Spend 10/15mins a day to sort through it and then you could sell some stuff on FB market and put some stuff on free cycle.

In order to stay on top of things, you just need to do little but often.

minipie · 28/09/2021 23:48

Oh tricky. I remember two under 3 and you just don’t have the time or energy do you.

Do you have storage space like an attic where you can shove it and forget it for a year or two?

If not then I’d be tempted to sort into two boxes, clothes and other, advertise on FB local that you will put both boxes out front on a particular day and people are welcome to come help themselves. Or just stick it out with a help yourself sign. Then anything remaining after a day or two can go in the bin.

Pick a dry day though!!

Dillydollydingdong · 28/09/2021 23:50

Do a yard sale. If you've got a front garden, arrange it all out there and let people come and take what they want. Advertise on your local Facebook group. Get dh to supervise.

ImNotDancing · 28/09/2021 23:50

YABU to throw perfectly useable stuff away when our environment is in such a dire state. Worst case, pop it it on a local buy sell page as a big job lot for free and you may get some car booters take it or someone in need of lots of baby stuff and time to sort it

Bbub · 28/09/2021 23:52

If you offer stuff for free on FB market place you will have loads of people biting your hand off to come and collect it. I'd bag it all up in rough categories (clothes/toys/accessories) and make a couple of listings, it will be gone within days if not hours, and minimal effort from you. Loads better than throwing it away.

Original poster
fedupwithit8 · 28/09/2021 23:55

Worst case, pop it it on a local buy sell page as a big job lot for free

Thanks, maybe I’ll try this. But I don’t have the energy to split it all into themes to be honest. Do you think someone would take a job lot of absolutely random shit - so baby stuff, gardening stuff, adult clothes, house stuff - all piled together as one load?

OP posts:
MeAndDebbieMcGee · 28/09/2021 23:56

Bin it. Especially things like connectors - really, that is very niche, and chances of you finding a home for them are slim.

But even for the rest, you've used it haven't you? So it hasn't gone to waste. Obviously in an ideal world we'd all keep on using the same few things forever and no one would throw anything away but ... that doesn't happen. And it is making you stressed and unhappy. Charity shops chuck things away too. So do second hand bookshops. And most things get thrown away eventually. When you die most of your stuff will end up on a skip. And there really isn't a shortage of worn kids' clothes and beat up toys. You've had the benefit, now it's not of benefit. Let it go and send your stress off with it.

LemonJuiceFromConcentrate · 29/09/2021 00:00

I mean, although I too feel I ought to say YABU for environmental reasons, in my heart I actually think YANBU.

This is because (1) you are struggling and I’ve been there and I know the mental load of getting it sorted in little increments will only drag you down further, while the relief of clearing space in one go will really lift you; and (2) in general, day to day, I reckon far too much environmental guilt is loaded onto the shoulders of individual people with limited resources when the bulk of the responsibility for damage really belongs with corporations.

So I’m inclined to think, you have two tiny kids and you’re doing what you can. Give yourself a pass this time; you can make it up some other way to offset, when you have the headspace.

Original poster
fedupwithit8 · 29/09/2021 00:00

Thanks. The thing is, I could bag it all up, throw it in the bin tomorrow and have an instantly clearer house. Or I could do what I’m currently doing - intending to list it on various sites, try my luck on eBay etc but it never gets done because I have no time, and my house remains a cluttered mess.

OP posts:
TheSilveryPussycat · 29/09/2021 00:03

I would chuck it all in the rubbish, I'm afraid. Sorting will give you decision fatigue - you need to make a fresh start with a clear mind instead.

Then, with the burst of energy you hopefully get from ridding yourself of Stuff, keep on top of it: apply the "one in, one out" rule to what you can. "Out" being as environmental as you wish - recycling, charity etc.

Mind you, I myself do not always practise what I preach

Original poster
fedupwithit8 · 29/09/2021 00:04

The problem is I feel so guilty chucking it. But I don’t have the time to sort it.

OP posts:
Freddiefox · 29/09/2021 00:07

Bin it, it will take months to sort through.

Grellbunt · 29/09/2021 00:07

Bag it up and drive to the tip and bin it

Woohoo

Done!

YAdNBU - women have enough to do!

Oblahdeeoblahdoe · 29/09/2021 00:09

Could you do a half way measure like all the best stuff in bags for a charity and the rest in the bin?

Lockdownbear · 29/09/2021 00:10

All the clothes, baby adult gardening, stuff gather it together and rag bin it. In the Supermarket car park move it on.

I would be tempted to advertise the baby stuff on FB for free just to get it away.
Gardening stuff, again FB or bin.

Forget ebay, too much hassle for too little return.
List on FB people to collect saves packing stuff up and posting.

Grellbunt · 29/09/2021 00:11

@Oblahdeeoblahdoe

Could you do a half way measure like all the best stuff in bags for a charity and the rest in the bin?
No, the whole point is that she doesn't have time to sort it out!!

(Am I over-invested? Probably. Bitter, bitter experience...)

StarryStarrySocks · 29/09/2021 00:12

YABU to waste stuff that someone else could use. If you've been "living in a pigsty for years" a few more weeks hardly matters. Give yourself a deadline and just get it sorted - list and give away as much as you can. If you offer it on the free sites someone will take it.

Original poster
fedupwithit8 · 29/09/2021 00:15

I’ve been living in a pigsty for years because I’ve always felt guilty about chucking stuff out. I’m trying to hold down a full time job with two kids and don’t want to spend what little free time I do have sorting and dealing with loads and loads of stuff. On the other hand just chucking it all in the bin feels so wrong.

OP posts:
DinkyDiggies · 29/09/2021 00:15

If the your ‘tip’ (now a household recycling center) is anything like ours, they will sort it and sell the decent bits. So you can take along with a clear conscience.

bluebirdsong · 29/09/2021 00:18

Please don’t throw useable stuff away. Put it for free on Fb marketplace.

Taiyo · 29/09/2021 00:19

Having been in a similar situation, I also say just chuck it and don't feel guilty because you are reclaiming your house and that is more important. Be glad of every bag you get rid of and good luck! You're doing great!

UrbanRambler · 29/09/2021 00:22

@Oblahdeeoblahdoe

Could you do a half way measure like all the best stuff in bags for a charity and the rest in the bin?
That sounds like a good compromise. Just whizz through it and make instant decisions based on whether you think items are in saleable condition i.e. clean and in reasonable condition...then split into 2 piles, bag up and get rid accordingly. You need to be brutal, no room for sentiment or dithering, and no worrying about the few quid you could make by selling things on eBay - the free space is worth more to you.