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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU just to chuck it all in the bin?

300 replies

fedupwithit8 · 28/09/2021 23:43

I have two kids under three, have been living in a pigsty for years and am desperate to declutter and live in a more orderly house. I finally got round to sorting out the babies stuff and have a huge pile of things we don’t need anymore - including clothes they’ve grown out of, toys they no longer use, random bits and pieces like car seat inserts, pram seat connectors and more.

I’m desperate to have a clearer, tidier house as we’re wallowing in crap we don’t use. But I simply don’t have time to sort it all out properly and take it to the appropriate places like the charity shop, the dump etc. I’ve been meaning to for months and it’s never happened because we’re just so busy.

AIBU to just shove it all in 5-6 bin bags and get rid? Or should I really try to sort it all properly and dispose of it in better ways so other could potentially make use of it?

OP posts:
panauchocolat · 30/09/2021 20:54

I feel your pain. I am also all the time clearing things up. I separated a few bags for charity shop abs regretted deeply when they said they would only take two of my bags and had gone through them, mention what they want, what they do t want and then ask if you are donor of whatever, check your address blablabla…. What was supposed to be a kind generous donation of less than 1 minute drop off became a fucking hassle…. Then, for me, what works is:
Put the best things that you find more expensive on sale of fb….. put things for FREE on fb as well….clothes goes in those huge Salvation Army on supermarkets car parks, recyclables in your recycling bin, And bag all the rest and take to the tip.
If within 1 week those things are not sold of gone for free they must go to the tip as well.
I don’t have patience to wait for ppl to come and collect things that I’m giving for free aswell… so it’s a trick situation !

Wackaday · 30/09/2021 20:58

More crap in landfill when it could go to a good home... it's not a hard decision to me. Reuse or recycle, please do not dump it. Show your kids how to be responsible for their environment too

bigbeatmanifesto · 30/09/2021 21:01

Clothes we take to clothes banks,
Toys go to charity shops,
Broken crap goes the tip.

We clear out every 3-6 months otherwise I feel like I'm drowning in stuff I can totally understand how you feel.

il0vew1ne · 30/09/2021 21:35

Some charities will collect from you,

ImaBraveNhsHero · 30/09/2021 21:45

Nah, not now. A lot won't even let you drop off.

I don't drive (tres green, no?) and I can't find anywhere I can walk to that will take my stuff rn and haven't been able to for ages.

So I've binned it.

If nobody is after it then it's not a waste. At least in my little world. Beyond that, I can't control.

INeedNewShoes · 30/09/2021 22:14

Shit this thread is depressing.

The number of people saying ‘just bin it all’ is staggering.

If people are buying SO much baby stuff that within 3 years it’s too much to sort out then there’s something very wrong.

There are families probably within a 5 mile radius of any one of us who will be desperate for this sort of stuff.

If people don’t have the wherewithal to sort through old clothes etc. then fair enough but just give it away as a bulk lot via Facebook or the free cycle type sites.

And from now on buy the bare minimum of what you need then it’ll be easier to keep on top of it.

rookiemere · 30/09/2021 22:28

OP was given a lot of the items second hand so not purchased new. Children's clothes and toys don't last forever. She has already said ( yesterday- day before yesterday?) that she's advertising it as a job lot on Facebook.

Yourcatisnotsorry · 30/09/2021 22:43

All the people saying ‘oh just bin it’ make me so sad. By the time you’ve read the replies on this thread you could have sorted it. It’s literally 3 piles (charity shop, bin, recycling). Make it into a game with your toddler to put in piles. The planet is dying because of our pure laziness. You feel guilt for a reason.

ScumbagDave · 30/09/2021 22:47

She isn't just binning it.

RosieLeaLovesTea · 30/09/2021 23:03

You could advertise the job lot on Facebook. You might get someone who’ll take the whole lot who sells on or does carboot sales. Failing the the tip.

RosieLeaLovesTea · 30/09/2021 23:04

There is also another really good site called free cycle. Giving away your stuff for free. It’s better than market place because it’s more anonymous.

Mamanyt · 30/09/2021 23:10

Here's the bottom line, of course it would be preferable to go through every item, decide if it should be sold, donated or tossed, pack it all up neatly, then dispose of it as decided. HOWEVER...if that is totally overwhelming (and I've been in some homes where it would be), the by all means, just get rid of it. Bag it up and toss it all. You can do better in the future, not allowing yourself to get to that state.

Ajl46 · 30/09/2021 23:11

@Grellbunt

Bag it up and drive to the tip and bin it

Woohoo

Done!

YAdNBU - women have enough to do!

If someone's taking clothes to the tip, surely it's just as easy to put it in the textiles recycling section rather than bin it?
saltinesandcoffeecups · 30/09/2021 23:42

I stopped with the guilt the day I dutifully sorted my clothes out and the biggest pile were the ones with stains…missing buttons… threadbare…etc.

After that I stopped bothering. I mean I was seriously hunting the house for a replacement button (that wouldn’t match) and contemplating a trip to the store to buy matching buttons just so I could donate an ugly shirt. I decided enough…if it wasn’t worth all that effort for me to wear it again (which is why I hadn’t worn it for 5+years) then why would I go to the effort for the charity shop to bin it as I’m sure they would have.

After that guilt absolved.

Lockdownbear · 30/09/2021 23:46

That's why when I clear out clothes start by getting two bags rags and sell.

I know my local charity shop have a rag bin that gets sold on by the kg, so sort it for them. And tell them which bag is rags so they know not to waste time on it.

SpiceWeaselBAM · 01/10/2021 01:25

The planet is dying because of our pure laziness.

No, it's really not. It's dying because as a population we consume too much and the manufacture and transport of those things creates pollution.

At a micro individual level, the OP's mental health is infinitely more valuable than the dubious value of recycling a small portion of her second hand possessions.

Fleshmechanic · 01/10/2021 03:31

Just split it into dump and charity shop. Then drop the bags off and forget about it. Seems like anything more complicated would be too much for you right now so don't bother with that.

Hardybloodyhar · 01/10/2021 04:15

@MyOtherProfile

Invite a helpful friend over for coffee, sort stuff into different bags while you chat and then post on FB, contact a local charity for baby stuff and bin the tat.
Her house is a tip, she works full time and has two very young children! YABU to think has a day spare to hang out with a friend in her messy house, drinking coffee and cleaning. YABU to think she has friends with nothing else to do.

YABU to think she has 20 minutes after the children are in bed to sort stuff into bags and put adds up on Facebook.

I have been there, and would die before I'd inflict my crap on my friends, and die to have a day free to do anything other than survive.

Just dump it OP. Charity shops are inundated with random shit they can't sell and end up dumping anyway. 'Stuff' is cheap, time is what is precious.

Personally, I think the system is rotten, but expecting people to want your old baby clothes, that can be purchased new for a pittance, just to assuage your guilt is nonsense.

HeronLanyon · 01/10/2021 04:29

The council ‘dump’ I use is actually a ‘recycling centre’ the people working there are like hawks ensuring we aren’t putting things into the wrong skips and they have recycling targets and penalties for the LA if they don’t meet them. All great and as should be. So for me the concept of ‘dump it’ is very different from what it used to be. The only thing I wouldn’t do is put it out as household landfill rubbish.
Good luck op.

BasiliskStare · 01/10/2021 04:42

I tried Freecycle once - never again

Had 2 people who were nice & picked stuff up but Oh My Goodness the time wasters .

Frankly for 6 binbags - I'd bin it and start again ( assuming not really nice or useful things ) I recycle like a good 'un but there are times when I just think this needs to go to the bin / tip. Get rid & then buy less.

spriggit · 01/10/2021 06:16

I am an avid ebayer and if you advertised the 6 bags of random baby items on Freecycle I'm convinced someone would just come and take the lot. Just say in the and you don't have time to sort it all and the collector must take all 6 bags and I bet it will be gone in hours. I'm the sort of person who recycles the tag on the teabag, however I feel your pain of the overwhelm. Don't beat yourself up just whack it on Freecycle and say it would suit a carbooter/ ebayer xxx

MyOtherProfile · 01/10/2021 06:38

@Hardybloodyhar YABU not to read her OP properly. Her version of a pig sty fits into 5 to 6 bin bags. YABU to assume nobody else has been in this boat but you. YABU to assume she does nothing but kids and work. YABU to pretend I said it would take a day.

In my experience having a good friend round for coffee and to get the ball rolling while the kids played helped me get on track. It might not work for you but it works for some people.

mummakat · 01/10/2021 07:19

There is a charity called The Little Village. They help new mums and families with donations made to them. They even collect the stuff from you

usernamealreadytaken · 01/10/2021 08:09

YABU if you send perfectly good stuff to landfill. We are all living under the spectre of Greta, XR, IB, government sanctions, rising tax subsidies for renewables and kids looking at adults like they've killed the planet. If you can deal with it now, bag it up and put in storage or find a friend/relative with an hour to spare who will sort it for you.

BasiliskStare · 01/10/2021 08:09

I do get people saying dispose of this stuff thoughtfully & I do care about the environment but for the sake of 6 bin bags I think OP's Health & well being is more important . Chaps who drive around in massive pick up trucks in the US aren't thinking about the environment ( stupid example I know - but just a point - I know we all have to do our bit I do know that so don't all pile in on me at once. - I recycle everything I can - and if I don't DS does ) If OP is feeling overwhelmed there may be a time where 6 bin bags today are worth buying less stuff tomorrow , and the day after - 6 days of sorting and ebay and all that entails or indeed free cycle - it isn't quite as easy as it appears.

I like the idea of - if it is not complete rubbish , give someone one shot to pick up a few bags so they can ebay or car boot etc. But it would be one shot. I would use a more local website to ask rather than free cycle - but if too hard - just bin it.

I for one @fedupwithit8 would not blame you if you just chucked stuff which is making you feel stressed & started again. ( For what it is worth Flowers