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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU just to chuck it all in the bin?

300 replies

fedupwithit8 · 28/09/2021 23:43

I have two kids under three, have been living in a pigsty for years and am desperate to declutter and live in a more orderly house. I finally got round to sorting out the babies stuff and have a huge pile of things we don’t need anymore - including clothes they’ve grown out of, toys they no longer use, random bits and pieces like car seat inserts, pram seat connectors and more.

I’m desperate to have a clearer, tidier house as we’re wallowing in crap we don’t use. But I simply don’t have time to sort it all out properly and take it to the appropriate places like the charity shop, the dump etc. I’ve been meaning to for months and it’s never happened because we’re just so busy.

AIBU to just shove it all in 5-6 bin bags and get rid? Or should I really try to sort it all properly and dispose of it in better ways so other could potentially make use of it?

OP posts:
2catsandhappy · 29/09/2021 08:01

Bin the lot.

Going forward, have a strict one in, one out rule.
Stop agonising op, let go of the clutter and your guilt. You are only human. This phase will pass.

TheWayTheLightFalls · 29/09/2021 08:02

I really try to avoid binning things that still have a useful life in them. Toys - on pavement on a dry day with a "Free to take" sign, likewise the random things (you never know).

Clothes - ask on FB / Freecycle whether anyone wants a job lot of clothes aged 0-2 (or whatever). Failing that even a cash for clothes or "donate your clothes to charity" type collection point is better than nothing.

Hopeisnotastrategy · 29/09/2021 08:10

@thegreywoman

Thank you to all who support the 'bin it' route, and for the reasons you've given. Reading this thread has given me the push to begin today. I'm in my eighties and trying to downsize within my house as I love the location and want to stay here as long as I can cope. I lack energy and mobility these days because of age and attendant physical disabilities. I don't have any transport either. I need to put the bin out for the tip tonight and will gather all my old audio and video cassette tapes without a single nostalgic glance (I hope!) and bin them. It will be a start. I do plan to donate clothes to a charity though, as I know one which will collect when I am ready, but think that will be easier to do... books and old DIY stuff will be a little harder.

I was brought up to feel guilty and it's a hard habit to break Smile

Best of luck OP Flowers (and you can put those in the compost if they ever fade!)

Good luck with it all.😊
Wynston · 29/09/2021 08:10

Op as others have suggested one big lot on fb goes as one no cherry picking.
If it hasn't gone by the weekend it goes to the bin.
Sorry to say at some point it will end up at landfill whether thats this weekend or in 2years time.

Ragwort · 29/09/2021 08:11

Just bin it, I manage a charity shop and the amount of utter rubbish we are given because 'someone might like this' is shocking .... and guess what, we have to bin it (and pay for the privilege). The worse is bags that sound like the OP's - full of broken mismatched toys, computer leads, odd random bits of nothing, well used baby clothes .... less than 50% of what we receive is saleable. Although my charity shop is very successful and makes a lot of money for our charity huge amounts of time is spent dealing with 'unsalable items' and how to get rid of them.

Thank you to everyone who donated good items to charity shops.

OverTheRubicon · 29/09/2021 08:16

@ToadstoolBubbleMaker

What little shred of hope I have for the future of the planet for my children is dissipating with this thread...
So many people on every thread like this who always say things about being kind to yourself and ditching, or how 'most pollution comes from big companies / China anyway, what you do won't make a difference". As if that pollution is being created for their own entertainment, instead of to make the exact same crap for all of us, which we then dump in landfill and pollute further.
BertramLacey · 29/09/2021 08:20

So it hasn't gone to waste.

It literally will go to waste. It will go to landfill if the OP bags it without sorting it.

OP it sounds like you're really stuck on this in the sense that you see anything that you do as wrong. I get it, to a degree. I don't have kids but I do work night shifts plus several part-time day jobs, which mean I work round the clock, plus caring responsibilities. I would love an uncluttered house and I have this vision of how perfect it could look. IME though it's better to let go of the idea that it will be perfect if you just do X, Y, Z. It won't ever be.

Is there a good mate who you trust and who you don't mind helping you sort stuff? Work out what will be taken kerbside and what is black bag stuff. I always feel guilty with black bag stuff but in some ways getting rid of things is quite freeing. Nonetheless, I'd be inclined to do a very basic sort, with a friend to help energise you. Another reason I don't recommend just binning stuff without sorting is you will be surprised what creeps into black bins, from annoying but replaceable things to really fucking annoying, like your birth certificate. Been there, nearly done that.

Meruem · 29/09/2021 08:21

Bin it. I cleared out a spare (junk) room a few months back and it all went in the bin. Sometimes it just needs to go. The way I am dealing with the “guilt” is by making the pledge to not buy any more junk. I’ve completely stopped the impulsive purchases or buying something that looks nice or whatever, if it isn’t actually needed. I’m not buying any more clothes/shoes/bags because I don’t need them. It’s more important I think to change attitudes going forward, than it is to make sure a few bags don’t end up in landfill.

BlackAmericanoNoSugar · 29/09/2021 08:22

I think that you have intended to dispose of things thoughtfully but genuinely don't have the time or energy. If you throw a whole lot out now and start afresh do you think you will have the space to have a couple of boxes or a shelf to put things in as they are outgrown and deal with it that way? It's not great to throw stuff into landfill, but if it means you can cope better and recycle in the future then long term it might be better for the environment than continuing to not cope and have it all build up in your home.

Palavah · 29/09/2021 08:22

Stop telling the OP to spend time sorting it! She doesn't have time!

But please don't bin it either, just put it on as a job lot as PP have said and someone will take the lot. Don't let them pick and choose, mind.

BertramLacey · 29/09/2021 08:23

So many people on every thread like this who always say things about being kind to yourself and ditching, or how 'most pollution comes from big companies / China anyway, what you do won't make a difference". As if that pollution is being created for their own entertainment, instead of to make the exact same crap for all of us, which we then dump in landfill and pollute further.

Yes. My answer to that these days is not to buy the stuff in the first place. I get that the OP is in a different position with two small children, but nonetheless I look around and whenever I'm tempted to buy things just repeat 'it's more crap that you don't need' and move on from there.

Atalune · 29/09/2021 08:24

Clothes- all in the clothes bins at the supermarket. Do this when you go to the shop. Keep the bags full and ready to deposit in your car.

Everything else? Take to the tip. Could you use a half days leave to carve out time to do this?

Pleas don’t give it to your dustbin- sounds like a lot of it wouldn’t be collected as too large?

Hopeisnotastrategy · 29/09/2021 08:27

Round here we're always getting random charity bags through the door wanting clothing etc. You put it outside in a visible spot on the day stipulated and they take it away. Do you have this? Shove the right stuff in and you wont need to spend time taking that to the tip. Win win.

DirtyDancing · 29/09/2021 08:27

In an ideal world then yes you would take photos of everything usable, write nice descriptions and wait for people to turn up for free stuff. However, sounds like that is the last thing you have time for right now. And people hardly ever turn up for freebies. I've been there.
Sometimes we have to the right thing for ourselves, especially when feeling overwhelmed.

Start with the utter crap. Bin it. Bag up stuff for charity collection (use www.icollectclothes.co.uk all online, they turn up and you leave it all on your door step).

Then you'll see the wood for the trees a bit more. Half decent stuff put out the front with a 'take me sign' a lot will go.

Lastly you'll be left with stuff that has value. Deal with this last. If you can ebay it or Shpok it great. Do one of these each week on the run up to Xmas.

Original poster
fedupwithit8 · 29/09/2021 08:27

Thanks all - I’m going to try putting it as a job lot on Freecycle. I just hope I get a taker…

My answer to that these days is not to buy the stuff in the first place.

I actually didn’t buy a lot of the baby/kids stuff - it was given to me as hand me downs by friends. Some of it is quite tatty as it’s been worn so many times, but there’s some nice stuff in there too.

OP posts:
CrySelfToSleep · 29/09/2021 08:27

I have a pram and a cot to sell, but the rest is just cluttery nonsense and I loathe it

KingsleyShacklebolt · 29/09/2021 08:29

Agree with Ragwort - please don't just dump a whole lot of stuff on charity shops because someone might be able to use it.

A better question to ask yourself is "would I pay money for this?" if you would, donate it. If not, bin it. We really don't want your chipped mugs, VHS video cassettes, empty DVD boxes and colouring in books which have been coloured in.

But OP I think as a bare minimum you could shove all the clothes in a bag for one of the supermarket donation bins.

ToadstoolBubbleMaker · 29/09/2021 08:31

Fingers crossed you get a taker OP - there are plenty of folk you are happy to sort for ebaying etc so I would have thought you would. We have a giveaway site here and 99% of stuff gets taken by someone.

poonypoony · 29/09/2021 08:33

Can you take a day off work - or even on a saturday or sunday - and sort the lot. Be ruthless. I've taken to decluttering the whole of my house and OMG it feels so good. We previously had a loft that was waist high in crap. Took 4 weeks, dedication and 3 skips to sort. We moved and the new loft has everything in plastic lidded boxes, labelled.

Then again, I'm thinking of separating and the house would need to be sold, so I have all our stuff arranged so it would be easy to take out the house/move, if (when !) it comes to it. Our everyday stuff is out or in drawers/cupboards but stuff we barley use, but need to keep, has been ruthlessly stripped down to the bare necessities. It's amazing what little you actually need in a house.

HarrietOh · 29/09/2021 08:34

Amazed at the amount of people saying “bin if.”

OP list for free as a job lot. I have a friend who goes round collecting these and she sits and sorts and sells the stuff on eBay.

EdgeOfTheSky · 29/09/2021 08:36

5 or 6 bags is not too much to sort into clothes and toys that are usable: charity shop, and old bits of pram and non usable stuff: bin.

daytripper28 · 29/09/2021 08:39

The problem is I feel so guilty chucking it. But I don’t have the time to sort it.

Fuck it - I say bin the lot and move on - don't feel guilty.

LookItsMeAgain · 29/09/2021 08:39

I don't know where my response went to but I think you would be very unreasonable to bin everything.

Recycle whatever you can, however you can.
Recycle what bits of plastic you can in the relevant recycling bin.
Bring all of the clothes to a clothes bank (they tend to be in supermarket car parks) but don't bin the clothes. You don't need to separate them into charity shops/bin/whatever because you are getting rid of ALL of them.

In all fairness, you shouldn't have gone into the decluttering without having thought of what you were going to do with the stuff when you had decluttered.

Please please please recycle what you can out of what you've decluttered.

MRex · 29/09/2021 08:40

The toys can go in the bin or recycling; with two under 3 they will be using anything decent, so it's clearly junk. Same with whatever pram connectors are.
Gardening stuff, car seat inserts and other bits - a couple of photos before you bag it up and advertise on facebook marketplace as car boot sale items £5 for collection and must all go together. It'll go within the day, you won't even need to leave the house.
You could sort the clothes the same way or take them to the supermarket clothes bin.

daytripper28 · 29/09/2021 08:40

My answer to that these days is not to buy the stuff in the first place.

Stating the bleedin' obvious or what.