AIBU just to chuck it all in the bin?

[fedupwithit8]

I have two kids under three, have been living in a pigsty for years and am desperate to declutter and live in a more orderly house. I finally got round to sorting out the babies stuff and have a huge pile of things we don’t need anymore - including clothes they’ve grown out of, toys they no longer use, random bits and pieces like car seat inserts, pram seat connectors and more.

I’m desperate to have a clearer, tidier house as we’re wallowing in crap we don’t use. But I simply don’t have time to sort it all out properly and take it to the appropriate places like the charity shop, the dump etc. I’ve been meaning to for months and it’s never happened because we’re just so busy.

AIBU to just shove it all in 5-6 bin bags and get rid? Or should I really try to sort it all properly and dispose of it in better ways so other could potentially make use of it?

OP, spend the time to dispose of this stuff thoughtfully. It's not asking a lot.

But, you don't know how much it is asking of the OP mentally. If she is already overwhelmed and struggling it may be just asking way too much of her. Isn't it better that she and her children have a clean, uncluttered home?

It's not ideal to just throw things away, but if the alternative is to have bags and bags of stuff that you don't have the mental or physical energy to deal with, then sometimes it is the best solution to throw it out and just draw a line under it.

I think if you haven't been in that situation of being overwhelmed in a messy house then it's perhaps hard to understand how liberating it is to be told that sometimes it is ok just to toss rather than donate or recycle. And it absolutely is and you shouldn't feel guilty about it.

www.aslobcomesclean.com/2012/11/permission-to-throw-it-away/

YANBU. Bag it and bin it. Worry about taking things to the correct places as you go along after the big tidy up.

Pick your battles etc.

YUBU. Spend 30 min every weekend and sort it out and put them on Facebook market place for free. What a waste.

Ten bin bags of random stuff is not going to save the environment.'

True. But the attitude of 'hey ho I'll buy a bunch of stuff I don't need, only to complain that it didn't magically dissipate when I stopped using it- oh well! Let's bin it' is absolutely screwing the environment and one of the main reasons the environment needs saving at all.

Agree but there is nothing from the OP to say that it’s a lot of stuff that she didn’t need and she accumulated through constantly buying.
She is talking about children toys and clothes. Bits of prams not connected to anything else etc…
Not the same thing at all Imo.

Find 30 mins a day and sort a corner. Drop stuff off at charity shops or recycling centres while out on other errands eg I pass 6 charity shops on the way to school, and there are recycling bins at the supermarket.

Well done for sorting it into a big pile. That in itself is good.
You’ve also decided that that big pile will leave your house - good.
Now it becomes a question of balancing what will get it out of your house quickest, easiest, environmental worries, appointment at dump (if you are somewhere which needs an appointment).
Literally if it were me I would not even think of selling anything. Too much time and effort and is likely to jeopardise the whole ‘getting rid’ mindset you’re in - don’t jeopardise that.
Instead of just binging it into say 10 bags for rubbish if do one further sort -

1. Charity shop - only things they would want and a definite date within a week it will be taken or if not to the dump.
2. Recycle/dump visit. Set the date for this now and the charity pile will join if not taken to charity shop by then.

Well done for progress so far. Don’t get stuck at this stage by pointless attempts to sell odd items.

I wouldn’t bin it if you really can’t list it on free groups even then I would put it all outside with a sign saying free. It will all be gone by end of day.

OP, spend the time to dispose of this stuff thoughtfully. It's not asking a lot.

The OP is asking in MN so we ready know she feels uncomfortable doing that. She isn’t unconscious or uncaring.
But stuff has been there for months (if not years) and haven’t been dealt with. So it sounds to me that actually ‘disposing of all the junk thoughtfully‘ is actually asking her too much.
She is obviously not able to Find the time/energy to do it which is why she posted in the first place!

I got sick of people not turning up when I put stuff on fb for free

Just bin it. I know the feeling of not having the time or energy to deal with stuff when you have small children

I reckon some people watch the freebies on gumtree like hawks & if you listed it as a big bundle of car boot stuff for free someone would be on it. Especially if there are a couple of good things & you put pictures.

So, pick out two or three really good things & take their photo. Add those.
Listing reads “ten bags of stuff suitable for car boots etc, no time to sort, includes pictured items. No rubbish. Collection only, whole lot only, no division.”
Allow it one week (or three days, whatever) if it hasn’t gone, bin.

You have my sympathy as I get into similar pickles over between guilt and clutter.

@fedupwithit8

I’ve been living in a pigsty for years because I’ve always felt guilty about chucking stuff out. I’m trying to hold down a full time job with two kids and don’t want to spend what little free time I do have sorting and dealing with loads and loads of stuff. On the other hand just chucking it all in the bin feels so wrong.

Chucking it in the bin is wrong, so just accept that.

Don't bother selling it, you'll take ages. Just sort it rapidly into reusable and not, then charity shop and recycling bank.

Have an 'undecided' box and quickly move past anything too hard to choose.

Aim to get it cut by 50% then take stock.

It would be amazing if council tips had an area where you could leave good stuff for others to take. If it's still there after a month it could go in the skip sort of thing.

If the government were serious about saving the planet, there needs to be a huge barn at all recycling areas for people to browse and help themselves.

Stick it as a bundle on Facebook marketplace for free - someone will be willing to sort and sell and take it off your hands. Much better than wasting. Someone on our road put a brio trainset in a skip this week. The waste make me feel sick.

Bin it. Then make a conscious effort to buy/accumulate less stuff.

I find marketplace very stressful. People not showing up, asking stupid questions, asking me to hold the items for so long.

YABU
You can at least put clothing in a separate bag and take it to a clothing donation bin. They can be found at most decent sized supermarkets and other places, so it really wouldn't be that much extra effort.

Pointless bits if plastic and junk like pram connectors, sure they can go in the bin. But clothing can be reused or recycled and there's not really any excuse not to just bin them in a clothes bank rather than bin them in landfill.

Yeah with two kids under three you’re not going to have a huge amount of time.

Personally I’d either dump the lot. Or would seperate into piles of actual rubbish (dump it) and charity shop stuff. Get someone to collect charity stuff.

If you find time. I’d maybe keep hold of the car seat inserts and list them on fb for free. It’s amazing how people seem to need those things.

@TintinIsBack From what the OP said, if she isn’t binning stuff, it will just carry in cluttering her house instead. It’s not going to save the planet like this either. Plus, I’ll be honest, I think that all this giving away to charity (for environmental reasons) is hypocritical if you don’t buy most of the stuff you have from a charity shop yourself.

Usable stuff cluttering her house still isn't in landfill, that's the massive difference.

And it doesn't matter if you buy all your stuff from charity shops (I buy lots but certainly not all), when that there are lots of people who hugely need baby things and have little money - chucking usable goods away is wasteful from that perspective too.

I'd personally do a 10 basic sort into bin bags of clothes/buggy stuff/toys and list them on Olio or Freecycle as free bulk lots to collect. They'd be gone within 24 hours max around here.

@TintinIsBack

She can list it for free on Facebook and get it taken away. She can sort it into a 'charity shop' pile and a 'bin' pile.

It's a few minutes more work than binning it.

No one is asking her for a kidney here. Just to spend a few minutes of her time to responsibly deal with her own possessions. She could have snapped the photos and made a marketplace post in the time she's spent on Mumsnet.

The fact that she is asking indicates that it's not impossible for her, it's just easier not to.

If she is totally mentally incapable of sorting her own belongings and no one can help her, then there's no question to be answered.

But that's not the case.

I do get it, honestly I do

it's also a crap job but you keep saying time, yet you've spent more time on here reading and replying than you would of done just sorting twenty things, do that each day and it wouldn't take long.

I find a lot of adulting very tedious, things like this are a great example

it is our children and their children that will be dealing with the consequences of our decisions though

@TheSquashyHatOfMrGnosspelius

It would be amazing if council tips had an area where you could leave good stuff for others to take. If it's still there after a month it could go in the skip sort of thing.

If the government were serious about saving the planet, there needs to be a huge barn at all recycling areas for people to browse and help themselves.

Our council waste recycling centre has exactly this. I've got some real bargains there - le creuset casserole dishes for £4, a cosy coupe for £5 (just needed pressure washing and looked brand new)

As others have said I would advertise it on Facebook or Freecycle- throw away the broken stuff and make a posting Household/Baby items Free- suitable for car boot or ebay. No cherry picking, all must be taken in one lot.
That will give someone else with less money and more time to go through the stuff, clean, list, sell, make a few pounds themselves.

Also when I list stuff for free, I say in the post I won't be measuring or answer questions, I ask them to come within a set period of time and then leave it out the front of my house. I don't wait around for anyone to show up.

It's only faff if you let it be.

Free stuff gets snapped up because people are in need. You could make some new mum's month by helping her.

@TheSquashyHatOfMrGnosspelius Our tip has a "too good to throw away" section which gets recycled. Maybe @fedupwithit8 check if yours does. It means we just bag up our stuff into "needs to be binned" and "too good to throw away", go up to the tip and put in the right area. It has made a world of difference to us because we don't need to work out which charity shop different things need to go to and we just go to the one place to get rid of everything.

I would definitely bin it so that you can stop thinking about it and get on with your life.

Middle of lockdown I offered toys free just to clear out..after several failed collection I just binned..never binned toys before as sold them on or donated but no room to store till charity shops opened again. Your mental health more important...just bin it. X