I hate my neighbours

[Hihelp]

They’ve been here over 6/7 years. Kids all similar age to ours, with a new baby now.

At first I was happy that there was a family next to us with kids similar ages. Then slowly they started getting annoying. I’m listing the worse stuff below, but there’s so much more:

1. Kids and husband/wife looking out their window into our garden everytime we’re out playing cricket, or me mowing the lawn. This year I thought I’d train with my son in the evening when it’s darker, but even then I could see their curtains twitching watching me run.
2. Front curtains twitching everytime dh or me go out or come back home from somewhere. Or kids running out and asking my kids where we’re going 🙄.
3. 2 years ago, expecting me to pick up her kids from school (they go to another school) and keep them at home until she got home from work 🙄.
4. Making weird comments about whether we cook loads of food for certain events and telling me its a bit gluttonous cooking loads. (We’re not fat or unhealthy and ill cook whatever the fuck I want)
5. Not even giving me condolences when my dad passed away last year, not asking how I was coping, but messaging me a few days ago, after a year of no contact asking me to tell her where I brought my side window from, and demanded I tell her contact details of the provider of the window (wtf).

Sorry for long list. There’s so much more. I hate them so much. I needed to let that out.

You hate them so much! You only hurt yourself feeling like that.

They do sound a little weird and rude. Avoid them as much as possible, don't do them any favours and wave when they curtain twitch.

I'll trade them for mine - drug smoking to the extent that someone laying a patio in my back garden (some way from the boundary) had to leave because it made him feel light headed. Child's motorbike whizzing around the garden (including 3 yo, no helmet). Sex so loud that neighbours across the road were disturbed. A dog that's allowed to escape from the garden and is not friendly. Children allowed to stay up until 2am on school nights, playing loudly and screaming. Parties that start at 3pm and carry on, loudly, until 3am. And emptying their large freestanding swimming pool down my driveway on purpose. And that's just the tip of the iceberg.

Neighbours are annoying. Mine is technically really nice and altruistic, but I get frustrated that I can't spend time in the garden without having to make a lot of small talk. She appears from nowhere! She's always got a list of stuff to take care of.. new fence, wall repairs, drainage etc that aren't at all pressing.

When I see her scurry out for the morning with her litter picker and belt stuffed with bin bags, I can't help roll my eyes. There's no litter where we live in a small village, I think she likes being seen to do good. I know I'm out of order but it irritates me.

@Lavender24

They do sound a little weird and rude. Avoid them as much as possible, don't do them any favours and wave when they curtain twitch.

See, I did do this during the summer when I was mowing the lawn. As I turned I saw the net move abruptly. So I waved. The eldest (she’s 14 years old) moved the whole net curtain and waved back with a jolly smile. 🙄. They just don’t get it. The mum is worse, that’s where the kids get it from.

Sorry @mistlethrush that sounds shit. I guess things could be worse. I’ve had the druggie neighbours before and at least they were too high to look out the window at us.

@Mistressofnone she’s sound irritating!

We had curtain twitchers. It felt like their whole family gathered around the windows to watch us have a bbq, so we built a trellis fence and grew plants up it for extra privacy. New neighbours are a little bit like this so we're going to add a bamboo topper to the fences.

How did she demand you told her. Didn't she just ask? You sound a bit mental OP

Everyone has a annoying neighbour feel for you OP mine are similar

I’ve spent the summer looking at screens but I need something 12ft to get best coverage. I’ll have to buy bamboo plants or something

@ufucoffee

How did she demand you told her. Didn't she just ask? You sound a bit mental OP

She asked me where I got the window from as she can’t find the size online and I replied “I don’t know where it’s from but you need to get a quote and usually windows are made to size”

So she replied, “I just want the name and contact number of the company that provided your window” that sounds like demanding to me.

When I said I didn’t know, she gave me a thumbs up. No thank you or anything.

My neighbour is very nosy. I go into vague mode if she asks me anything. Im convinced she lurks constantly at her window and as soon as I appear, she's there. It gets very wearing. There is not much you can do. If they come out be polite but keep on with what you are doing. How on earth do they know what you are cooking? Now THAT would worry me, sounds like an unhealthy interest. Do people not have lives?

1. Kids and husband/wife looking out their window into our garden everytime we’re out playing cricket, or me mowing the lawn. This year I thought I’d train with my son in the evening when it’s darker, but even then I could see their curtains twitching watching me run.

so they look out of their window when they hear a noise outside. Don't see the problem. Why do you think you can police when they can or can't look out of their own windows?

1. Front curtains twitching everytime dh or me go out or come back home from somewhere. Or kids running out and asking my kids where we’re going 🙄.

*Again, looking out of their own windows when they hear a noise outside. And their children being goddammit friendly to your children and chatting to them when they are outside. Can't see the problem.

1. 2 years ago, expecting me to pick up her kids from school (they go to another school) and keep them at home until she got home from work 🙄.

If this was a one time, stuck for childcare, asking a favour of a neighbour then honestly, I see no problem at all, and I hope you were neighbourly enough to help them out if you could. If they expected you to routinely do it without reciprocating, I do agree that is cheeky

1. Making weird comments about whether we cook loads of food for certain events and telling me its a bit gluttonous cooking loads. (We’re not fat or unhealthy and ill cook whatever the fuck I want)

Really? They literally come up to you and call you gluttonous and tell you what you should cook. Seems odd. How do they even know how much food you cook for certain events? Are you sure they're not just making polite conversation, and having a chat about seasonal foods?

1. Not even giving me condolences when my dad passed away last year, not asking how I was coping, but messaging me a few days ago, after a year of no contact asking me to tell her where I brought my side window from, and demanded I tell her contact details of the provider of the window (wtf).

How would they know that your father had died? It doesn't sound like you are particularly friendly, so not really their place to be checking that you are coping etc. I'm sure they would have offered support if you had asked. And its perfectly normal for neighbours to message/chat about improvement (e.g. new windows). I assume that you have similar houses and she simply likes what you have done. Can't think of any reason whatsoever why you would not willingly give her the name of the supplier and her asking for it is perfectly reasonable.

On balance, you sound far more unreasonable than your neighbours, and slightly odd tbh! Like you are determined to take offence to everything your neighbours say or do.

I agree you are overdoing it by a long shot. She didn't demand anything 😂 let it go. There are worse neighbours to have, op.

Maybe years of being spied on has made me go mad 🙄

This is why I don't talk to my neighbours

@Hihelp

They’ve been here over 6/7 years. Kids all similar age to ours, with a new baby now.

At first I was happy that there was a family next to us with kids similar ages. Then slowly they started getting annoying. I’m listing the worse stuff below, but there’s so much more:

1. Kids and husband/wife looking out their window into our garden everytime we’re out playing cricket, or me mowing the lawn. This year I thought I’d train with my son in the evening when it’s darker, but even then I could see their curtains twitching watching me run.
2. Front curtains twitching everytime dh or me go out or come back home from somewhere. Or kids running out and asking my kids where we’re going 🙄.
3. 2 years ago, expecting me to pick up her kids from school (they go to another school) and keep them at home until she got home from work 🙄.
4. Making weird comments about whether we cook loads of food for certain events and telling me its a bit gluttonous cooking loads. (We’re not fat or unhealthy and ill cook whatever the fuck I want)
5. Not even giving me condolences when my dad passed away last year, not asking how I was coping, but messaging me a few days ago, after a year of no contact asking me to tell her where I brought my side window from, and demanded I tell her contact details of the provider of the window (wtf).

Sorry for long list. There’s so much more. I hate them so much. I needed to let that out.

1&2 If you can actually see their curtains actually twitching then it's probably not them being the nosey ones. 3. Without asking? That is weird. Or was there a conversation with her asking and you saying yes.

1. How do they know what you're cooking? Either a) you tell her b) she invents it c) you have parties in the garden where everyone on the street can see how many pies are piled up.
2. You've had no contact for over a year. So why did you expect condolences? I would rather someone I didn't talk to didn't contact me tbh. So 1, 2, 3 and 4 are all from more than a year ago? Why are you still even thinking about it? Did she actually threaten with her demands? "You'd better give me the number or I'll twitch me nets even more"

You sound ridiculous.

@Hihelp

Maybe years of being spied on has made me go mad 🙄

Just because they happen to look out of their windows when you are in the garden, it doesn't mean you are being spied on. Apart from seemingly being friendly (children chatting with your children, daughter waving and smiling from the window), it's perfectly reasonable for people to look out of the window when they hear a noise outside.

Honestly, it seems like they are generally trying to be friendly and neighbourly, and you are rude and constantly shutting them down.
You are the issue here, not them. And it's really odd to hate someone you don't really know just because they looked out of their window, or chatted to you about party food, or asked you where you got your window from. Do you have a pre-existing mental health problem that's affecting your view? You seem to think that their perfectly normal behaviour is somehow centred on you, and what you are doing. It really isn't. You have an odd (paranoid?) interpretation of perfectly normal things.

What does “expecting you to pick up and look after her kids” actually look like in reality?

And she “demanded” details - again, what was her actual turn of phrase

that sounds demanding to me

And therein lies your problem op

You see shadows and take offence where there are none

i’’m listing the worse stuff/

God, you take offence when they speak to you and when they don't. Can't win can they 🙄

Perhaps your cooking produces a highly noxious smell?

Apart from the potential expecting you to pick their children up from a different school (obviously don't know the details), they sound perfectly ok!
I still shudder at my ex neighbours

@Mistressofnone

Neighbours are annoying. Mine is technically really nice and altruistic, but I get frustrated that I can't spend time in the garden without having to make a lot of small talk. She appears from nowhere! She's always got a list of stuff to take care of.. new fence, wall repairs, drainage etc that aren't at all pressing.

When I see her scurry out for the morning with her litter picker and belt stuffed with bin bags, I can't help roll my eyes. There's no litter where we live in a small village, I think she likes being seen to do good. I know I'm out of order but it irritates me.

Presumably because she's picked it all up?