I hate my neighbours

[Hihelp]

They’ve been here over 6/7 years. Kids all similar age to ours, with a new baby now.

At first I was happy that there was a family next to us with kids similar ages. Then slowly they started getting annoying. I’m listing the worse stuff below, but there’s so much more:

1. Kids and husband/wife looking out their window into our garden everytime we’re out playing cricket, or me mowing the lawn. This year I thought I’d train with my son in the evening when it’s darker, but even then I could see their curtains twitching watching me run.
2. Front curtains twitching everytime dh or me go out or come back home from somewhere. Or kids running out and asking my kids where we’re going 🙄.
3. 2 years ago, expecting me to pick up her kids from school (they go to another school) and keep them at home until she got home from work 🙄.
4. Making weird comments about whether we cook loads of food for certain events and telling me its a bit gluttonous cooking loads. (We’re not fat or unhealthy and ill cook whatever the fuck I want)
5. Not even giving me condolences when my dad passed away last year, not asking how I was coping, but messaging me a few days ago, after a year of no contact asking me to tell her where I brought my side window from, and demanded I tell her contact details of the provider of the window (wtf).

Sorry for long list. There’s so much more. I hate them so much. I needed to let that out.

Honestly op I mean this gently but it’s possible they think you’re quite odd. Becayse, truthfully, your op is.

That's nothing to complain about really. Some of us have had to put up with noise pollution.

As long as they are quiet it wouldnt bother me but I would also ignore them. I've had enough of neighbors and will never speak to any I have ever again.

my (semi-detached) neighbour is lovely , but she is old and ill, her son and his family are already making plans for the house, have told me some of their plans including that i must replace my fence to something they approve of , removing a tree in the corner of my garden so they can get their car in their newly planned drive , bonkers people need to live all together

@Bluntness100

Honestly op I mean this gently but it’s possible they think you’re quite odd. Becayse, truthfully, your op is.

Really? So you’d be happy being stared at every time you went in your garden? Every time you’d turn around you’d be happy seeing the curtain twitch back looking like someone didn’t want to be caught staring at you? Seriously? I think you’re the one who is odd, or trolling me.

I could list many more things like how she would message me every month asking to use my car battery charger because she left her car lights on again. It got to the point where she was the only one ever using it, but didn’t want to buy her own? Every time she saw me doing the garden she wanted to borrow our electrical garden equipment but didn’t want to buy her own as “they’re expensive”.

Bleugh. It’s hilarious how I’m the odd one in this online, when my friends/family who’ve visited think they’re odd too with their constant curtain twitching. Oh well.

Still don’t like them 🤷‍♀️

I hate my neighbours too, they're so full of themselves and she's always out with her high pitched voice acting like queen of the neighborhood when behind it they're knobs. Last year in lockdown they were always smuggling people round, my dad died last May and I couldn't even see my mum (they were divorced and she was shielding) and we stuck to the rules, they kept us up popping champagne corks and having a good laugh in the garden on a very hot night (windows were open) then next day she texted something stupid about her scaffolding and I told her to stop texting me. She wasn't happy. She also texted me with some other nonsense about their very very important extension when I was literally at my dad's bedside as he was dying, she wasn't to know, but I told her I was out of the city visiting him in a hospital in the middle of lockdown so it can't have been good news could it?! They've 4 kids and an army of people doing stuff for them all the time. I keep hoping they might move but that's wishful thinking I guess. Our other neighbours are really lovely, they have a couple of kids too but just genuine, polite, considerate and friendly rather than false.

Sorry about that @Blahglah. I think when it’s your own family being ill/passing away, you’d expect people to read between the lines and be considerate or have a bit of empathy. I completely understand and she sounds very annoying.

Yes my annoying neighbours also had people smuggled around during the lockdowns. One bank holiday weekend during Easter 2020 they pissed off somewhere for about 4 days..breaking the law some place else.

@Hihelp yep, no solutions just solidarity. Ours went to France last year and didn't self isolate when they got back, they were in contact with SO many people during the lockdowns. I'm not sure how much their mates realised how big the circle of people they were mixing through them was.

Sometimes it seem all the annoying neighbours should move next to each other.

Im constantly amazed at people who give their phone number to neighbours then complain that the creatures message them. My nosy hole neighbour once asked for my phone number and I told her that it was for friends and family and not random people.

"But Im your neighbour"

"Your a random person who happens to live next door!"

I'm just impressed your garden is big enough to play cricket in.... maybe they are, too.

@Hihelp

I could list many more things like how she would message me every month asking to use my car battery charger because she left her car lights on again. It got to the point where she was the only one ever using it, but didn’t want to buy her own? Every time she saw me doing the garden she wanted to borrow our electrical garden equipment but didn’t want to buy her own as “they’re expensive”.

Bleugh. It’s hilarious how I’m the odd one in this online, when my friends/family who’ve visited think they’re odd too with their constant curtain twitching. Oh well.

Still don’t like them 🤷‍♀️

I am suspicious of my neighbours after all the shit they have pulled over the years and stare at them from my window. They can't be trusted. And if they bring visitors I need to know how many, what time etc. So I can report them to noise pollution team 🤷 it's not always to do with noseyness watching neighbours coming and going you know OP!

I would trade yours for mine!!
Horrific here, every level of abuse against the 3children. Ss, police all involved.
Rat infestations, filthy inside and out...
Honestly tip of iceberg!
3 years we had to deal with them (As did the other neighbours) before SS took the younger child, one went with the abusive father and We now just have the one abusive parent and eldest child still next door.
YABU

Every time you’d turn around you’d be happy seeing the curtain twitch back looking like someone didn’t want to be caught staring at you?
Op must spend a lot of time monitoring her neighbors windows to know how often the curtains twitch. Sounds a bit pot and kettle.

Stop turning round and checking the curtains, OP. If you're getting on with your cricket or whatever how have you even got time to keep checking? They probably think you're glaring at their house all the time, I would find that most disconcerting.

Why are you even giving them headspace? Some of this stuff was years ago?

They sound normal to me. Basically friendly. Lots of people lead boring lives and so pay attention to the things around them. They look out of their windows! So what? If you want perfect privacy, you need to go and live somewhere remote, with a bigger garden. Even the super-rich don't manage it.

I think you maybe need a break, some r&r, like we all do after this last depressing year.

We’ve got great neighbours. They take in parcels, feed the cat and water the garden for us when we’re away ( which we reciprocate ), share plants and excess runner beans. My OH is the go to man in the street for fixing things and lending tools. If they asked me where we got our windows from I wouldn’t be offended. In fact we have a street FB group for recommending tradesmen, giving away unwanted stuff etc. Maybe start a neighbourhood group?

When the OP said she hated her neighbours and she had made a list of the reasons, I was expecting drugs, loud parties all night, shouting and swearing 24/7...all the usual.

But there was literally nothing on the list that could be construed as anything other than possibly slightly irritating. And that's pushing it.

And some of the replies! It sounds like some of the posters on this thread are the nightmare neighbours.

I'm really sorry for the loss of your father @Hihelp

Honestly though, I think you sound overly worried about your neighbours. They're not doing anything that bad from what you've posted.

@mrsm43s

1. Kids and husband/wife looking out their window into our garden everytime we’re out playing cricket, or me mowing the lawn. This year I thought I’d train with my son in the evening when it’s darker, but even then I could see their curtains twitching watching me run.

so they look out of their window when they hear a noise outside. Don't see the problem. Why do you think you can police when they can or can't look out of their own windows?

1. Front curtains twitching everytime dh or me go out or come back home from somewhere. Or kids running out and asking my kids where we’re going 🙄.

*Again, looking out of their own windows when they hear a noise outside. And their children being goddammit friendly to your children and chatting to them when they are outside. Can't see the problem.

1. 2 years ago, expecting me to pick up her kids from school (they go to another school) and keep them at home until she got home from work 🙄.

If this was a one time, stuck for childcare, asking a favour of a neighbour then honestly, I see no problem at all, and I hope you were neighbourly enough to help them out if you could. If they expected you to routinely do it without reciprocating, I do agree that is cheeky

1. Making weird comments about whether we cook loads of food for certain events and telling me its a bit gluttonous cooking loads. (We’re not fat or unhealthy and ill cook whatever the fuck I want)

Really? They literally come up to you and call you gluttonous and tell you what you should cook. Seems odd. How do they even know how much food you cook for certain events? Are you sure they're not just making polite conversation, and having a chat about seasonal foods?

1. Not even giving me condolences when my dad passed away last year, not asking how I was coping, but messaging me a few days ago, after a year of no contact asking me to tell her where I brought my side window from, and demanded I tell her contact details of the provider of the window (wtf).

How would they know that your father had died? It doesn't sound like you are particularly friendly, so not really their place to be checking that you are coping etc. I'm sure they would have offered support if you had asked. And its perfectly normal for neighbours to message/chat about improvement (e.g. new windows). I assume that you have similar houses and she simply likes what you have done. Can't think of any reason whatsoever why you would not willingly give her the name of the supplier and her asking for it is perfectly reasonable.

On balance, you sound far more unreasonable than your neighbours, and slightly odd tbh! Like you are determined to take offence to everything your neighbours say or do.

This

You sound like you've made it exceptionally clear to them you hate them. If my neighbour acted like you do (thank god I have nice normal neighbours) I wouldn't acknowledge them at all even if it was commiserations on the loss of a parent. Why would they care? If you were on polite speaking terms with them then maybe they would. You sound really odd.

I'm just imagining you out in the garden whipping round to glare at their house. What if their curtains move in a breeze?

I think asking to borrow stuff is fine tbh. Im not sure why thats not ok? Unless she doesnt give it back? The window is also fine. Im not sure why you'd expect her to message you about your dad after you'd not spoken for a year. The food thing is weird and needs more explanation really. The only thing thats annoying is expecting you to pick her kids up from school. I think you did it once, then it became an expected thing.

Overall I think you sound a bit uptight, and that you're looking for reasons not to like her.

"One bank holiday weekend during Easter 2020 they pissed off somewhere for about 4 days..breaking the law some place else."

NOW WHOS THE CURTAIN TWITCHER????

Firstly sorry to hear about your Dad losing a parent is awful. With regards to your neighbour none of that deserves the responses you've had not even close. You are stuck in the anger stage of grief your neighbour sounds fine but you've latched onto her as an avoidance mechanism. This level of fixating on an innocent party whilst grieving isn't that unusual but is unhealthy.