I hate my neighbours

[Hihelp]

They’ve been here over 6/7 years. Kids all similar age to ours, with a new baby now.

At first I was happy that there was a family next to us with kids similar ages. Then slowly they started getting annoying. I’m listing the worse stuff below, but there’s so much more:

1. Kids and husband/wife looking out their window into our garden everytime we’re out playing cricket, or me mowing the lawn. This year I thought I’d train with my son in the evening when it’s darker, but even then I could see their curtains twitching watching me run.
2. Front curtains twitching everytime dh or me go out or come back home from somewhere. Or kids running out and asking my kids where we’re going 🙄.
3. 2 years ago, expecting me to pick up her kids from school (they go to another school) and keep them at home until she got home from work 🙄.
4. Making weird comments about whether we cook loads of food for certain events and telling me its a bit gluttonous cooking loads. (We’re not fat or unhealthy and ill cook whatever the fuck I want)
5. Not even giving me condolences when my dad passed away last year, not asking how I was coping, but messaging me a few days ago, after a year of no contact asking me to tell her where I brought my side window from, and demanded I tell her contact details of the provider of the window (wtf).

Sorry for long list. There’s so much more. I hate them so much. I needed to let that out.

They sound a little bit irritating but honestly not that bad OP. You could have it a lot worse.

Be thankful you don't have to deal with neighbours who are actually antisocial, play loud music, damage your property etc.

You need to not bother about them spying on you.
I've no idea why they do it, surely they've got enough going on at home but there you go.
Plant a few buddleias (make sure they are not the dwarf variety for small gardens) and they'll be 7 foot tall by the second year.

Especially with Netflix, Amazon etc Iphones etc to watch why they rush to the window is a mystery. Is it just one of them eg the older DD who has funny ways? Rather than the whole family.

I can understand why you find their behaviour irritating. Particularly the curtain-twitching, as it’s unsettling feeling like you’re being watched. However, unless you or they are planning to move, then you are stuck with each other. And if you are, then I think the best way forward is to change your mindset about how you feel about them. Ultimately, it’s pointless feeling all this hate towards this family and the only person you’re damaging is yourself. I would try to not give them any headspace at all, and just get on with living your own life.

@Spiindoctor no, it’s all of them. I know it’s all of them because the mum told me she noticed how my youngest is always changing her clothes. Which is true. My youngest loves changing her clothes 3/4 times a day. The only way she would have noticed is by looking at her out the window at us.

About 5 years ago we had work done on the house so moved out for about a 9 months. When we returned, the eldest came around and told my children they used to come and play in our garden on the trampoline when builders left the back door open. At the same time I assume, her husband had apparently come inside our house a few times to see what we had fixed, builders had mentioned this and also the mum came around one day and said her husband had already seen the finished work and the bathroom apparently looked better than before.

Yep. Still hate them. Nosey shits.

That’s my last post. Can’t deal with talking/thinking about them all weekend!

@Hihelp

That’s my last post. Can’t deal with talking/thinking about them all weekend!

So why start a thread?

I've had terrible neighbours. Terrible. They set fire to stuff and left it on our doorstep.

They got a dog and gave it a racist name so they could shout it in the garden! And it was a mongrel so they could shout 'you filthy half breed bastard' at my children. Clever racist bastards!

It's not a competition or a race to the bottom (although if it was I'd definitely win) but your neighbours just don't sound that bad at all to me. You are attributing them with stuff that might not even be happening and they are interacting with you in a pleasant way when they see you.

It does sound like you absolutely hate them so you should move in my opinion. Which is obviously quite drastic but it's the only solution. You can't remove their eyes or brick up their windows.

@Hihelp

Maybe years of being spied on has made me go mad 🙄

You do sound a little obsessed with them tbh

Coz their loud talking/giggling and music in the garden on Friday afternoon (hot so windows open) whilst I was wfh and needed to concentrate triggered me to create the thread.😁 🤷‍♀️ Didn’t plan on talking about them all weekend too.

Really last post now!

Windows are for looking out of, not into.

My neighbour and myself have a drive way each but a shared pathway that leads to our back gardens.
Anytime anyone walks up the path my dogs get alerted and I look to see if it's for me, if it's not I go back about my day.
I don't think it's unusual or rude to look out of your window. And surely if you are noticing curtains twitching you must be looking first to see if they are looking.

The asking about food was most likely just polite conversation that you decided to take the wrong way.

Asking where you are going is also polite small talk.

Did they knew your dad had died? Tbf if my neighbour was like you I wouldn't offer condolences either

The text message wasn't demanding

Actually OP you’re coming across as the nutty neighbour!!

OP you give them way too much airtime in your mind and seem angry in general.

I’d have absolutely no problem lending a battery charger to a neighbour.

If you hate them this much and feel ‘stalker’ I’d move if I were you, life really is too short to be this miserable!

If you do decide to move, don't be surprised if you have the same issue again

They do sound annoying and socially inept but don't give them headspace. Carry on your life. I am sorry for your loss.

The parents sound a bit irritating and intrusive. As for the kids, well kids do weird things and are learning boundaries and consideration for others so I couldn't get too worked up about them. My 3yo likes to sit on our front windowsill in their pyjamas in the morning watching the world go by and talking to our neighbours and delivery men through the top window. God knows what our neighbours think of us... I've already had a few jokey comments about them being the neighbourhood watch .

I must be missing something here. They don't sound that bad I mean, they sound a little strange and irritating, but then people generally are.

The issue is of privacy surely. Neighbours are no family . not chosen and no assur ance or chance of any compatibility

They are not friends and need to respect privacy.

I agree with the Op on this an wonder how the critics would in reality fare in such a situation?

Been there done that .Which is why I live on a small offshore Irish island. Nearest person is five fields away, Sheer bliss,

I remember sneaking out after dark for a quiet unaccosted walk.

@LynetteScavo

I must be missing something here. They don't sound that bad I mean, they sound a little strange and irritating, but then people generally are.

Yes you ARE missing the point totally They are intruding on precious home space ad privacy .

My neighbour regularly bangs on my window asking for help with stuff and to sometimes asking to order things on my Amazon prime. Comes dashing out when sees me as loves our dog. I suspect they may not be neuro typical as doesn't always get social cues. Tries to be helpful by texting me to say it's raining in case I want to bring my washing in. I'm actually quite fond of them despite the minor irritation. I prefer this to previous house where we didn't hardly know who neighbours were. It is just part and parcel of living near to other people.

@SoloISland. Rather an extreme solution perhaps . And not for everyone.

I'm not overly fond of having neighbours and being overlooked but it's an inevitable consequence of living in an urban area with great shops, cafes, restaurants and other facilities close by. It might just be me but I'd take the neighbours over rural isolation, however beautiful, any day.

The curtain twitching would annoy me , the asking to collect their dc from school cheeky but I don’t think I’d hate them for that . The no condolences well perhaps she didn’t know or when did too much time had pass . I don’t think I’d bother about that for a neighbour . And I don’t think it’s demanding asking about the window. They sound very cheeky and the kind of people that just don’t respect peoples boundaries . If you want to hate them that’s up to you I just think their annoying but most people have a lot worse neighbours.

This comes across as problems with boundaries.

In the past you’ve been on friendlier terms eg looking after her children after school and lending her things. You have each other’s contact numbers. They’ve overstepped these boundaries by having high expectations about what you should be doing for them.

Change your contact details. Increase visual privacy and if you have to engage keep it polite, neutral. Don’t stare at their windows or wave at them. Don’t monitor them in annoyance.

We used to have neighbours who watched our every move. And then they copied us. We painted our door a certain colour - they copied. We got new gravel for the drive, they copied.
We were on to them. At Christmas we got a very tacky giant inflatable. Guess what.
It made our Christmas. PMSL. What could we try next!

Yeah its not them its you.