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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Why do adults have ‘themed’ parties???

126 replies

HarryDresdensLeatherDuster · 04/09/2021 20:36

Seriously? I am not talking about 20/30 somethings but really grown up people in their 50s and 60s. Why have they not realised that so many people hate this sort of thing? Two invitations to parties today to events I would genuinely love to attend but they are both ‘themed’. Why? Why? I struggle enough to find clothes I want to wear to such things. Why do I want to dress up in clothes from my teens???
And yes, before you start, I realise how lucky I am to be invited…

OP posts:
BabyPotato · 04/09/2021 22:17

@MedusasBadHairDay Absolutely! I've gone to a few themed dos before and it was certainly easier in terms of social awkwardness because the costumes were such a great icebreaker. Also when in fancy dress I tend to feel a little bit like I am someone else so I'm somehow more relaxed? I fancy going to a themed party now. Haha.

whatthejiggeries · 04/09/2021 22:18

Because it's fun

Original poster
HarryDresdensLeatherDuster · 04/09/2021 22:19

Would probably pass on a slanket pub crawl with Annoyedanddissapointed though as I am not sure we would get on

OP posts:
Tresal · 04/09/2021 22:20

I love a theme! I used to hate fancy dress when I was in my twenties but now I find fancy dress really funny. The more you go for it, the better it is.

Original poster
HarryDresdensLeatherDuster · 04/09/2021 22:20

Fascinated to hear that some of the more shy among us find these types of things fun. Kind of like acting a role I suppose, Will definitely consider that in the future.

OP posts:
whatthejiggeries · 04/09/2021 22:21

@saltinesandcoffeecups I don't know why two people would do that to be honest. Maybe I am just very dull

SirChenjins · 04/09/2021 22:21

I have literally no idea - and I wish they wouldn’t. Such a PITA faff.

70isaLimitNotaTarget · 04/09/2021 22:21

I would love to go but my heart sinks when I hear the word 'themed'

Themed doesn't mean Fancy Dress though
Could be an Elton John stylee White Tie and Tiara ?

Could be Tarts'n'Vicars

Could be 80s Pop Stars

I know which one I'd go for ............

godmum56 · 04/09/2021 22:22

People have the kind of parties they like because they want to....go if you like, not if you don't. I might go to a "nod to" or themed event but no I would not cough up for fancy dress (that someone else had worn yuck) or go to a full fancy dress type thing.
Actually i think they are a bit demode now....it used to be vicars and tarts or vamps and tramps didn't it?

Annoyedanddissapointed · 04/09/2021 22:22

@HarryDresdensLeatherDuster

Would probably pass on a slanket pub crawl with Annoyedanddissapointed though as I am not sure we would get on
Fair enough😁
Millicentsparty · 04/09/2021 22:23

I think the op was just wanting people to sympathise with her. By all means state you disagree and love fancy dress but some of these posts are going in unnecessarily hard against her. She's not suggesting that all firstborns should be slaughtered, she's just bemoaning the pressure of having to wear fancy dress.

Lavender24 · 04/09/2021 22:23

I agree it's ridiculous and I hated fancy dress even when I was younger. It annoys me having to spend money on something I won't wear again. Well, it would if I actually went, I hate parties anyway, 😂

Original poster
HarryDresdensLeatherDuster · 04/09/2021 22:23

Tresal - my last outing in fancy dress involved a wig, tiny top hat with bones etc, face stickers etc. I'm not saying I don't do it but don't get why!

OP posts:
Original poster
HarryDresdensLeatherDuster · 04/09/2021 22:25

Aw, thanks Millicent! It is AIBU after all. Reminds me of why I rarely post here!

OP posts:
m0therofdragons · 04/09/2021 22:27

Because different people like different things? I love an 80s night occasionally but I prefer dressing up in normal nice clothes. It’s also fine not to like it but rude to criticise others.

TimeForTeaAndG · 04/09/2021 22:27

I like themes because then I don't spend hours before hand debating what to wear and worrying about being over/under-dressed.

Lucia23 · 04/09/2021 22:28

@MyPatronusIsACat

What a weirdly miserable and peculiar thread. Confused

@HarryDresdensLeatherDuster FGS don't go if it causes you so much stress eh? Hmm

I LOVE a themed party! Going to a neighbour one for Halloween. And she and her DH are nearly 60. I know, weird fuckers eh? Having fun and joy and laughter at such an advanced age?! Wink

Have to agree. I love a themed party - probably something to do with being born at Halloween!

I sense I wouldn't get along with most people on this thread but @MyPatronusIsACat if you ever have a party do let me know Grin

Elieza · 04/09/2021 22:33

Sometimes it’s as simple as lack of confidence. Or being a large person who can’t find a flattering costume.

Perhaps we can help with some fancy dress easy and flattering costume suggestions OP?

So it’s not too obvious can you give us say four themes. Two of which are the real ones. Two are made up. We won’t know which is which and it will preserve your anonymity.

We can fire up suggestions for all. It could be fun. I was about to say “Who doesn’t love fancy dress” then I remembered the reason you’re on here…. !

HelloDulling · 04/09/2021 22:33

Fancy dress parties make for great photos. Much more fun than a room full of jeans and a nice top outfits.

Millicentsparty · 04/09/2021 22:37

I was about to say “Who doesn’t love fancy dress” then I remembered the reason you’re on here…. !

😂😂😂

TheNestedIf · 04/09/2021 22:40

Why is it making you want to run for the hills? As in introvert, I can think of many, many reasons to avoid a party, but a theme is not one of them. Nobody is forced to be jolly, although one would hope the guests do feel jolly. It's that everyone is invited to be silly. Nothing wrong with being silly. *

What's the theme? Can we help you look ridiculous?

  • Totally up for a slanket bar crawl, although I'd probably bend the rules and go in a stupid onesie.
MedusasBadHairDay · 04/09/2021 22:42

@HarryDresdensLeatherDuster

Not moaning, not complaining, just pleading for a reason!

Love the idea of the polar bear in the Primark pjs but sadly does not meet either theme! I am TOTALLY up for a snuggie pub crawl if anyone else fancies it! I was the person who led a whole school assembly dressed as the white rabbit (face paint, ears, overly large watch etc!) but hate it for social occasions.

Oh and cardibach, I might just love you a little bit!

I think you've been given the main reasons but here's some others, both my own experience and friends.
  • Great for shyness
  • creative people liking the chance to make their own costumes
  • enjoying seeing what other people come up
  • like having a structure to a party
lazylinguist · 04/09/2021 22:43

Not moaning, not complaining, just pleading for a reason!

How would a reason help? It's not going to make you enjoy it more! There isn't some secret reason. The only reason is that they like having themed parties, they believe most other people will enjoy them too. Which lots of them will. And a few won't. Go or don't go. Different people enjoy different things!

Original poster
HarryDresdensLeatherDuster · 04/09/2021 22:50

Aw thank you Elieza, that is very thoughtful of you. The main horror is the 70s/80s one. A lack of ideas and the profusion of spandex terrifies me!

OP posts:
Smartiepants79 · 04/09/2021 22:52

@lazylinguist

Not moaning, not complaining, just pleading for a reason!

How would a reason help? It's not going to make you enjoy it more! There isn't some secret reason. The only reason is that they like having themed parties, they believe most other people will enjoy them too. Which lots of them will. And a few won't. Go or don't go. Different people enjoy different things!

This is what I think. There isn’t a reason except they want to do it! They think it’s fun. That’s what they’ve picked. It’s like me asking why does anyone like mushrooms when I think they’re so disgusting. They just do. Because they’re different to me. That’s doesn’t mean I expect them to never have mushrooms in my presence or even to never offer them to me.