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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Why do adults have ‘themed’ parties???

126 replies

HarryDresdensLeatherDuster · 04/09/2021 20:36

Seriously? I am not talking about 20/30 somethings but really grown up people in their 50s and 60s. Why have they not realised that so many people hate this sort of thing? Two invitations to parties today to events I would genuinely love to attend but they are both ‘themed’. Why? Why? I struggle enough to find clothes I want to wear to such things. Why do I want to dress up in clothes from my teens???
And yes, before you start, I realise how lucky I am to be invited…

OP posts:
Fruityb · 04/09/2021 21:36

Ha I found this just after I ordered my Vegas print dress from Hell Bunny for the casino themed 40th I have in December 😁

HerRoyalRisesAgain · 04/09/2021 21:37

I WANT to go to the parties (one is an invite from the people who may be my son's in laws ffs!) but cannot bear the forced jolliness of fancy dress and themes.

If you want to go you can't complain about the hosts theme

mim321 · 04/09/2021 21:40

We had a group vote for fancy dress for this New Year's part and the host has picked 90s as the theme.

It really doesn't have to be expensive, in fact, the cheaper homemade efforts are always well appreciated.

MyPatronusIsACat · 04/09/2021 21:41

What a weirdly miserable and peculiar thread. Confused

@HarryDresdensLeatherDuster FGS don't go if it causes you so much stress eh? Hmm

I LOVE a themed party! Going to a neighbour one for Halloween. And she and her DH are nearly 60. I know, weird fuckers eh? Having fun and joy and laughter at such an advanced age?! Wink

MedusasBadHairDay · 04/09/2021 21:41

@HarryDresdensLeatherDuster

Glad to hear there are others out there for whom this is their worst nightmare Grin

To all of those saying 'just don't go', I WANT to go to the parties (one is an invite from the people who may be my son's in laws ffs!) but cannot bear the forced jolliness of fancy dress and themes. Whilst you might think such things are fun, 'shock horror', 'some people have different opinions to you'.

Tbf OP the person who seems to be struggling most with the idea that people like different things is you. Seeing as you started an entire thread to complain that people plan parties they enjoy rather than planning ones you enjoy
321zyx · 04/09/2021 21:43

YANBU - theme/fancy dress is my worst nightmare - I politely decline Grin

Cryalot2 · 04/09/2021 21:46

Thankfully we never did the party scene . Boring old farts we are.
I hate barbecues more than anything.

Leeds2 · 04/09/2021 21:47

I wouldn't go. No matter who asked me.

I like BBQs though!

notthemum · 04/09/2021 21:49

Op. Just browsing today and Primark have a furry/fleecy pj set for about 16‐20 quid. So you could get one of those and possibly a mask from the pound shop and go as a polar bear as a pp upthread suggested. Then you will at at least have a great pair if pjs for afterwards .

MalagaNights · 04/09/2021 21:49

Some people find the thinking up and planning outfits fun.
They like seeing what everyone has come up with on the night. All the different ideas and interpretations.
Some people love the playfulness of seeing each other dressed up in ways totally differnt from every day life.
It makes them laugh and adds a bit of excitement to the evening.

Some other people don't like it.

HTH.

Fredoftheforest · 04/09/2021 21:49

It can be a good ice breaker/conversation starter, so we’ve had themes a few times especially if we’re mixing different groups of friends and wanting people to hit it off.

Definitely have to choose your theme carefully.

But for example we did a “dress like your home country” when we were mixing up lots of international friends and it got people talking. People vary in how much effort they make - one girl had Eiffel Tower earrings, one had a full on dirndl, but it was all just fun. My home country is Scotland so I just had a Scotland t shirt on for example, it’s not a big effort. And yes I know some people dont like it, but it worked for us.

If you want to go, have a think about small accessories that will match the theme without making you feel silly.

LagunaBubbles · 04/09/2021 21:50

Whilst you might think such things are fun, 'shock horror', 'some people have different opinions to you'

Maybe you should read what you've just said again OP...might answer your original question. Hmm

Annoyedanddissapointed · 04/09/2021 21:53

Tbf OP the person who seems to be struggling most with the idea that people like different things is you. Seeing as you started an entire thread to complain that people plan parties they enjoy rather than planning ones you enjoy

Saved me typing that😂

saltinesandcoffeecups · 04/09/2021 21:54

Reminds me of the night me and DH went on a ‘Snuggie’ pub crawl, you remember those ridiculous blankets with arms, right? Yeah so wandering around town wearing a blanket with arms.

Anyway, it was a last minute decision, we were fairly new to the area so hadn’t yet made a lot of friends and it was just he and I. We met the funnest people that night. Everyone was friendly, talkative, welcoming, and just having a good time.

I was saying so to one group that we met and then as soon as I finished my thought, I said ‘well, I guess that stands to reason as those people who are self conscious, not down with ridiculousness, and take themselves too seriously obviously wouldn’t be here. It’s sort of self-selecting.

Point totally made when I was describing it later to a coworker’s wif who wouldn’t know fun if it bit her in the ass, and she tutted that it sounded stupid and why would grown adults do something like that.

Millicentsparty · 04/09/2021 21:57

@MalagaNights

Some people find the thinking up and planning outfits fun. They like seeing what everyone has come up with on the night. All the different ideas and interpretations. Some people love the playfulness of seeing each other dressed up in ways totally differnt from every day life. It makes them laugh and adds a bit of excitement to the evening.

Some other people don't like it.

HTH.

Do you know that when you add HTH to the end of your posts it makes you sound nasty? Was that your intent?
Marmalady75 · 04/09/2021 21:58

These sort of parties are my worst nightmare! I know that some people like them, but it makes me feel really uncomfortable and awkward.

cardibach · 04/09/2021 21:58

@HerRoyalRisesAgain

I WANT to go to the parties (one is an invite from the people who may be my son's in laws ffs!) but cannot bear the forced jolliness of fancy dress and themes.

If you want to go you can't complain about the hosts theme

Yes she can. She wants to go to an event with the people to celebrate whatever it is it’s for. She doesn’t want to do that dressed like an idiot. It’s really not complicated to understand.
Annoyedanddissapointed · 04/09/2021 21:58

Omg slankets are the best. I bought one for my mum and she still has it all these years later and LOVES it😂
I wnat to go slanket bar crawl with you!

cardibach · 04/09/2021 22:00

Point totally made when I was describing it later to a coworker’s wif who wouldn’t know fun if it bit her in the ass, and she tutted that it sounded stupid and why would grown adults do something like that
This is really nasty. @saltinesandcoffeecups There are lots of things I find fun which you wouldn’t, I’m sure. I’d never say you something so rude about you though. People are not dull or miserable because dressing oddly isn’t something they enjoy.

BabyPotato · 04/09/2021 22:00

Ooh I love the ones where you have to make your costume yourself and that are slightly budget. Hiring a costume would be too easy. Grin I actually don't really like parties but dressing up is something I would enjoy, and with the right group I would be totally up for themed parties.

My mum loves fancy dress. She and my dad used to throw lots of fancy dress parties when I was younger and I loved seeing everyone's parents getting creative and dressing up. If it wasn't for Covid she would still be going to themed parties and she's in her 60s. Smile People just like different things.

HerRoyalRisesAgain · 04/09/2021 22:05

Yes she can. She wants to go to an event with the people to celebrate whatever it is it’s for. She doesn’t want to do that dressed like an idiot. It’s really not complicated to understand

If her idea of fun is different to her friends she can just not dress up and explain she wanted to be at the party but doesn't enjoy themes. Instead she's moaning about her friends idea of fun.

MedusasBadHairDay · 04/09/2021 22:07

@BabyPotato

Ooh I love the ones where you have to make your costume yourself and that are slightly budget. Hiring a costume would be too easy. Grin I actually don't really like parties but dressing up is something I would enjoy, and with the right group I would be totally up for themed parties.

My mum loves fancy dress. She and my dad used to throw lots of fancy dress parties when I was younger and I loved seeing everyone's parents getting creative and dressing up. If it wasn't for Covid she would still be going to themed parties and she's in her 60s. Smile People just like different things.

I'm the same, I can be very shy, and struggle a little with "normal" parties. Themed parties though are much easier to cope with, and therefore more fun.
XenoBitch · 04/09/2021 22:10

@Annoyedanddissapointed

Omg slankets are the best. I bought one for my mum and she still has it all these years later and LOVES it😂 I wnat to go slanket bar crawl with you!
Haha, same here. I have a slanket! It is black with skull and crossbones on . Sometimes, I wear it backwards (forwards??) like a cape with arms.
saltinesandcoffeecups · 04/09/2021 22:14

@Annoyedanddissapointed

Omg slankets are the best. I bought one for my mum and she still has it all these years later and LOVES it😂 I wnat to go slanket bar crawl with you!
It was honestly one of the dumbest and funnest things I’ve ever done. Me and DH still laugh about it 10+ years later.
Original poster
HarryDresdensLeatherDuster · 04/09/2021 22:16

Not moaning, not complaining, just pleading for a reason!

Love the idea of the polar bear in the Primark pjs but sadly does not meet either theme! I am TOTALLY up for a snuggie pub crawl if anyone else fancies it! I was the person who led a whole school assembly dressed as the white rabbit (face paint, ears, overly large watch etc!) but hate it for social occasions.

Oh and cardibach, I might just love you a little bit!

OP posts: