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Original poster

Why do adults have ‘themed’ parties???

126 replies

HarryDresdensLeatherDuster · 04/09/2021 20:36

Seriously? I am not talking about 20/30 somethings but really grown up people in their 50s and 60s. Why have they not realised that so many people hate this sort of thing? Two invitations to parties today to events I would genuinely love to attend but they are both ‘themed’. Why? Why? I struggle enough to find clothes I want to wear to such things. Why do I want to dress up in clothes from my teens???
And yes, before you start, I realise how lucky I am to be invited…

OP posts:
Beemore · 04/09/2021 20:59

Really despise fancy dress/themes. Just don’t get it. Very tedious and never fun.

GintyMcGinty · 04/09/2021 20:59

Not sure what age has to do with this?

Just wear a silly hat and get on with it.

Party Pooper.

XenoBitch · 04/09/2021 21:00

You are the actual 'Fun Police'. Maybe make that a theme for your next party.

banisher · 04/09/2021 21:02

Gives you all something to bond over, I imagine.

Annoyedanddissapointed · 04/09/2021 21:04

I JuSt DoN'T uNdErSTaNd wHy PeOpLe LikE DiffErEnT ThInGs To Me

wide eyed winking hoping most people say it's of course incredibly stupid and everyone not liking it is superior

minatrina · 04/09/2021 21:05

Because themed parties are fun!! If you feel insecure or awkward then just grab a relevant accessory/prop and dress otherwise normally. Or just don't go, no point forcing yourself to do something you don't enjoy!

GroggyLegs · 04/09/2021 21:07

Different people find enjoyment and fun in different things.

Shocker.

itsgettingwierd · 04/09/2021 21:07

Theme or fancy dress?

I know people turning 60 who have 60's themed parties and people often come dressed in 60's clothing. They have 60's typical party food and perhaps some 60's party games and the music will be 60's themed.

That's very different in my mind to a fancy dress party where you come as a superhero for example!

I think I'd enjoy the first. Not so much the second!

lockdownmadnessdotcom · 04/09/2021 21:08

@haroldbaker

Ugh I have no idea but fancy dress is my worst nightmare and I'd rather not go! I appreciate I'm a total misery though!
That makes two of us.

The people giving the party seem to forget how expensive it is to hire fancy dress. It's very self-indulgent - oh please spend £80 just to come to my house Angry

See also school dressing up days.

lockdownmadnessdotcom · 04/09/2021 21:09

@minatrina

Because themed parties are fun!! If you feel insecure or awkward then just grab a relevant accessory/prop and dress otherwise normally. Or just don't go, no point forcing yourself to do something you don't enjoy!
Why are so many of you saying a prop is enough. People will just stare if you turn up in normal clothes and a prop. Better not to go at all.
lockdownmadnessdotcom · 04/09/2021 21:09

@Annoyedanddissapointed

I JuSt DoN'T uNdErSTaNd wHy PeOpLe LikE DiffErEnT ThInGs To Me

wide eyed winking hoping most people say it's of course incredibly stupid and everyone not liking it is superior

It's not about liking different things, it's about imposing a massive cost and inconvenience on your guests. Not the same at all!
ramarama · 04/09/2021 21:10

OP, i'm with you. I've never understood why adults need to add this element to make things seem 'more fun' either. (Because in the UK people are too uncomfortable to enjoy themselves without being blind drunk or dressing up like children??)

orangejuicer · 04/09/2021 21:11

I'm having a kid's party next year for my 40th. Sorry OP!

XenoBitch · 04/09/2021 21:12

It's not about liking different things, it's about imposing a massive cost and inconvenience on your guests. Not the same at all!

Well, wait until you hear about weddings then! Not everyone has formalwear knocking about in the back of their wardrobe.
Weddings stress me the hell out. Finding an outfit, shoes, bag etc to match... not my idea of fun at all. At least with fancy dress, you can attempt to make it from stuff you already have.

minatrina · 04/09/2021 21:13

@lockdownmadnessdotcom really? I've never witnessed that, that would be annoying if people were rude about it I agree

Actually something I will probably agree with you on is that I would never hire fancy dress, I always DIY everything, all my social circle would do the same too. I think bought/hired fancy dress looks tacky and is a waste of money to boot 😬

Smartiepants79 · 04/09/2021 21:13

Well, they think it’s going to be fun. And have therefor decided that their friends will think it’s fun also.
It’s fine that you don’t but I can’t quite understand what you’re so surprised that some people have different opinions to you.
You don’t think themes are fun, they do. It’s their party therefore…. It’s got a theme!!
Just make a token gesture to the theme and stop thinking about it.

Annoyedanddissapointed · 04/09/2021 21:14

It's not about liking different things, it's about imposing a massive cost and inconvenience on your guests. Not the same at all!

There is a very simple solution of saying "sorry, I won't be attending, but I will see you next time!". Guests have very much a choice

BlusteryLake · 04/09/2021 21:19

I don't mind a theme, but I'm with you on the fancy dress OP. I hate it. Depending who's inviting, I either decline or just put on a sparkly top and make some sort of nod to whatever we're supposed to be dressing up as.

sicklycolleague · 04/09/2021 21:23

Feel like I can see both sides to an extent, costume parties aren’t something I gravitate towards and it’s a faff.. but I do enjoy them more than I used to, the costumes provide a talking point if you’re meeting new people, and it can all just be a bit of fun

I don’t really think it has to be a huge cost either, we went to a Tolkien party (nerd alert) last month and I spent £15 on some elf ears and a headdress thing (thanks Amazon!), then wore a green velvet dress I already owned. Everyone kept talking about what a great elf I was.

Antsinyourpanta · 04/09/2021 21:23

A couple I know seem to love fancy dress- theyve got a costume, wig and make up for any and every occassion. I see their (many) parties on facebook they look quite fun . I've never been invited - I think DH would rather poke his eye out with a stick than go to a fancy dress party so perhaps just as well I'm not in their inner circle!

Millicentsparty · 04/09/2021 21:24

@trumpisagit

Go to the party - make minimal effort on the theme (eg hat or top colour). Enjoy the party.
Hi loathe fancy dress. I already have to think about presents, cards, wine, and its bad enough to try and shoehorn me into something respectable from my wardrobe. So to have to think up fancy dress is just added stress. Then when you get there, you always feel too hot, too cold, too uncomfortable. And you know they only chose that theme because they have the perfect clothes for it! Grrr.

But if I decided to go, I think this is the best advice. In fact, it's what I'm going to do next time....

@trumpisagit
Go to the party - make minimal effort on the
theme (eg hat or top colour). Enjoy the party.

CaptainThe95thRifles · 04/09/2021 21:25

I subscribe to the Tolkien / Lewis approach: dress as a polar bear, whether or not the party is fancy dress. I'm way too lazy for theme parties anyway.

Original poster
HarryDresdensLeatherDuster · 04/09/2021 21:28

Glad to hear there are others out there for whom this is their worst nightmare Grin

To all of those saying 'just don't go', I WANT to go to the parties (one is an invite from the people who may be my son's in laws ffs!) but cannot bear the forced jolliness of fancy dress and themes. Whilst you might think such things are fun, 'shock horror', 'some people have different opinions to you'.

OP posts:
StatisticallyChallenged · 04/09/2021 21:33

This can be a nightmare. Sometimes the theme is fairly broad and easy enough - 50s themed was fine for me as I like 50s style dresses anyway. 1920s themed however was horrendous; at the time I was breastfeeding (with baby in tow) and a K cup. Flapper dresses not in any way compatable! I ended up wearing a couple of accessories but otherwise not dressing up.

I also swerved a playboy bunny theme - nobody needs to see my ass in that outfit

ilovesooty · 04/09/2021 21:34

I went to one with a superpower theme. I wore a EU T shirt. Job done.