Page 5 | Why do adults have ‘themed’ parties???

Lightisnotwhite · 04/09/2021 22:52

@BobMortimersPetOwl

Fancy dress gets on my tits! I'm not into gimmicky crap though, I'd rather just have a get together with good music, good food and decent drinks.

Yeah but what’s “ good music” ? My heart sinks as everyone’s rushes to dance to some overplayed pop or even worse Mr Brightside. Most parties don’t have good food. Lucky if it’s nice canapés before a fairly simple something to help yourself to.

A theme means you don’t have to worry about over or under dressing or what to say to say to someone you never met.

JaninaDuszejko · 04/09/2021 22:57

Hate themed parties, just seem so unneccessary and fancy dress is even worse. A couple I know had a Star Wars themed wedding, and everyone had to dress up according to the theme. One step worse than those weddings where you are expected to be colour co-ordinated.

Kite22 · 04/09/2021 23:09

Re: 'because they want to' type answers - well obviously! Best you could think of?
Re: 'because they want to have fun' - what, you can't have fun without looking stupid? That's up there with the idea of being unable to have fun without drink/drugs etc

You do NOT come across well, with these answers.
You asked, so people replied.
It literally is okay for people to host a party however they want to.

I can see that, and, like you, I HATE dressing up, and have turned down parties for that reason in my time. My heart just sinks on the rare occasion I get invited to something like that, but I can still see that it is up to the host, and obviously the host must enjoy it, even if I don't.

AmperoBlue · 04/09/2021 23:10

Outing but my favourite was a London Underground theme.

Some people had been clever and obviously really enjoyed it and some went for the obvious - Paddington, Wimbledon, to some who just wore a bit of jewellery for Caring Cross and others that were very clever.

There was no having to go out and buy a knock out new dress, which is fine if you have the money and figure but tedious otherwise.

Darbysmama · 04/09/2021 23:18

@HarryDresdensLeatherDuster did you seriously just compare a theme party to drugs and/or alcohol? Well, I think you just proved your sense of logic here, didn’t ya? It’s their party. It’s for them. They can do what they want. Either they’re important enough for you to suck it up and attend or they’re not and you don’t go. Your decision. You blast them for being an adult and having a theme party, yet you sound like a toddler because you’re just selfishly whining because you don’t want to dress up. Stay at home if you can’t manage to not be a fun sucker for an evening.

TooWicked · 04/09/2021 23:20

I don’t think I’d go to a fancy dress party again, I’d politely decline the invite.

My FIL’s ex-girlfriend had a Wild West themed birthday party for her 40th, hired a huge venue that held about 250 people, had a bucking broncho and all kinds of stalls.

I reckon about 60 people at most turned up and half of them weren’t dressed for the “theme”. It was utterly miserable, the shittest party I’ve ever been to and I felt like a right twat in my outfit.

SneakyCucumberAction · 04/09/2021 23:23

@HarryDresdensLeatherDuster

Seriously? I am not talking about 20/30 somethings but really grown up people in their 50s and 60s. Why have they not realised that so many people hate this sort of thing? Two invitations to parties today to events I would genuinely love to attend but they are both ‘themed’. Why? Why? I struggle enough to find clothes I want to wear to such things. Why do I want to dress up in clothes from my teens??? And yes, before you start, I realise how lucky I am to be invited…

I don't know, why do adults go to wife swap parties? Because some find it fun.

Elieza · 04/09/2021 23:25

For 80s can you still get Frankie Says Relax T-shirts?

I’ve got a “It’s The 80s Baby” T-shirt I got on eBay a few years ago brand new so they do make things that would do - although I’d get a Frankie one if I was going to a casual not too dressy party.

Wear with jeans or leggings and ballet pumps. Style with crimped hair and bright bangles from a charity shop. Job done. Not hard. Hides a multitude of sins. Everyone will recognise that as 80s. Take a box of wine. Very 80s

For 70s I’d get one of my maxi dresses on (long sleeves, high neck) and do my hair long and straight or high up on my head, or buy a long straight wig. Possibly accessorising with one of those cigarette holders for a laugh dahling. My mum had one. It was hideous. take a bottle of blue nun if they still make that. If not take regular wine and make a blue nun label!

I’d wear 70s style blue or green eyeshadow. Just the one colour, no blending colours. For 80s I’d I wear the neon blue mascara. I think it’s for sale in Avon nowadays.

Anyone any more ideas to help the OP with suggestions for fancy dress 70s/80s outfits?

Scautish · 04/09/2021 23:30

100% with you OP but I’d always concluded it was yet another neurotypical thing I don’t understand. Hate them. Don’t go to them but then again - as many have said - having themed parties is probably a good way of filtering out people like me.

TheAntiGardener · 04/09/2021 23:39

I like the idea in theory, but the reality is I’m too disorganised and last minute for fancy dress. And having a crap costume makes you self conscious. All of the other partygoers fall into one of three camps: creatives who have spent hours crafting an elaborate costume out of old sheets and household junk, bon viveurs who throw money at it (went to a Halloween birthday party once where the hosts had hired MUAs to do horror film prosthetics on them) and those who have employed lateral thinking to go for a subtle but witty take on the theme. The last are the worst since they show there is no excuse for not coming up with something.

Meanwhile, I’m in something I dragged out of the bottom of my wardrobe as the only thing I can lay my hands on that has some slight semblance to the theme. Glittery for 20s, black for Halloween. That or some crap I found in the Halloween or Christmas aisle in Wilko.

Being the person in the half-arsed outfit is not fun.

saltinesandcoffeecups · 04/09/2021 23:46

Here is another secret, themed parties provide an instant connection and commonality among guests., not to mention an instant ice breaker.

If you walk into a regular party, on the surface the most you have in common with every one else is that you all know the host. If it’s a theme party, everyone has now one more thing in common, you’re all dressed in your 80’s garb, or western duds, or whatever.

You’re more likely to walk up to a stranger and ask “OMG, where did you find that RELAX T-shirt” which starts a funny story about having to steal it back from the teenager who finds it ironically cool, not knowing they saw them in concert when you were in your teens/twenties.

It also gets people out of the everyday hang ups of life. “Am I wearing the latest/best/nicest/most appropriate thing” vs. “screw it, I’m dressed as a house elf what could go wrong” attitude.

OP, you’ve taken it on the chin here, but if you’re up for a pub crawl wearing a blanket with arms, you can’t be a stick in the mud. Hope you have fun at the parties, whatever you wear!

justjuggling · 05/09/2021 01:04

A few years ago a friend had an ‘80s’ party for her 40th birthday and I declined the invite. When she asked why, I was honest and said I disliked fancy dress and suggested lunch another day to celebrate (which we did, and it was lovely!). She responded that she’d been surprised by how many people had given similar answers.

I think some people just like that kind of party and it therefore doesn’t occur to them that other people won’t. She had a party she enjoyed though and that was the main thing!

BadLad · 05/09/2021 01:09

Seriously? I am not talking about 20/30 somethings but really grown up people in their 50s and 60s. Why have they not realised that so many people hate this sort of thing? Two invitations to parties today to events I would genuinely love to attend but they are both ‘themed’. Why? Why? I struggle enough to find clothes I want to wear to such things. Why do I want to dress up in clothes from my teens???

Kleptaklunky · 05/09/2021 01:18

I completely agree op. Themed parties suck

SneakyCucumberAction · 05/09/2021 02:12

@Elieza

For 80s can you still get Frankie Says Relax T-shirts?

I’ve got a “It’s The 80s Baby” T-shirt I got on eBay a few years ago brand new so they do make things that would do - although I’d get a Frankie one if I was going to a casual not too dressy party.

Wear with jeans or leggings and ballet pumps. Style with crimped hair and bright bangles from a charity shop. Job done. Not hard. Hides a multitude of sins. Everyone will recognise that as 80s. Take a box of wine. Very 80s

For 70s I’d get one of my maxi dresses on (long sleeves, high neck) and do my hair long and straight or high up on my head, or buy a long straight wig. Possibly accessorising with one of those cigarette holders for a laugh dahling. My mum had one. It was hideous. take a bottle of blue nun if they still make that. If not take regular wine and make a blue nun label!

I’d wear 70s style blue or green eyeshadow. Just the one colour, no blending colours. For 80s I’d I wear the neon blue mascara. I think it’s for sale in Avon nowadays.

Anyone any more ideas to help the OP with suggestions for fancy dress 70s/80s outfits?

She's not asking for decade themed dress. FGS

wigglerose · 05/09/2021 02:20

Maybe just maybe some people enjoy things you don't.

It's not illegal you know.

RavingAnnie · 05/09/2021 02:22

I get where you are coming from OP. I really don't understand others love if fancy dress and it's frankly annoying being asked to a themed or fancy dress party.

Often I don't understand the theme so there is lots of debate and discussion about what the theme means. Then you have to work out what to wear and where to get it from. Then there's the dilemma and worry of how much effort will other people make. Will everyone not bother at all, will they just pop on a nod to the theme, or will most people go all out. I don't want to turn up having not bothered and everyone else is dressed up to the nines. Equally I don't want to go all out and no one else is in fancy dress.

It's a stressful bloody minefield of which I take no pleasure!

And people saying just don't go, sometimes you have to go because it's a dear friends big birthday or something.

Yes I would like to send fancy dress to room 101 if I could!!

Thankfully I now am chronically ill and never go out anywhere anyway so don't have to deal with all the above...silver linings and all that! 😳😢😂

DaphneDeloresMoorhead · 05/09/2021 02:54

How terrible. Don't they know that, as adults, you're not meant to even think about your birthday, let alone have the thundering cheek to expect people to go out of their way to celebrate it with you ?
Clearly they Have Not Read The Mumsnet Rules

AlixandraTheGreat · 05/09/2021 04:31

It's really not complex. It's just a fun thing to do. (For some people.)

Oblomov21 · 05/09/2021 05:03

You rarely post here? Make sense, because the way the OP has been worded is silly because you already know the answer.

Fredoftheforest · 05/09/2021 06:42

**“She's not asking for decade themed dress. FGS”

@SneakyCucumberAction - yes she is actually? She has literally asked for suggestions for 70s/80s themed outfits.

BananaMilkshakeWithCream · 05/09/2021 06:45

Yawn!! If you hate it so much then don’t go 🤷‍♀️ Or, just wear an accessory from the genre. Eg if it’s eighties, wear some leg warmers but then just your normal outfit. Sure you get the gist.

TheChiefJo · 05/09/2021 06:46

"Re: 'because they want to' type answers - well obviously! Best you could think of?"

But it's the truth, and you asked. People do these things for a laugh. If you don't ike it, don't go.

Fairyliz · 05/09/2021 06:51

The thinking behind it?
‘Oh god I suppose we will have to invite @HarryDresdensLeatherDuster or she will have a big strop’
How can we put her off?
I know let’s make it fancy dress she always moans about that.
Could that be the reason?

cheesemarmitepanini · 05/09/2021 07:10

@ramarama

OP, i'm with you. I've never understood why adults need to add this element to make things seem 'more fun' either. (Because in the UK people are too uncomfortable to enjoy themselves without being blind drunk or dressing up like children??)

Yeah I'm sure drinking and dressing up is a UK only pursuit