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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

DH charged me for Steak...but I'm a Veggie!

791 replies

atleastthepoochlovesme · 02/09/2021 20:04

Not irate/upset/annoyed but just wanted to see how others would feel if it were them...

DH is a lovely guy but has his quirks (don't we all). For context, we split the household bills and big purchases 50/50 so he transfers the money into my account on the 1st of each month. For anything else, we just buy what we want/need out of our own money.

A few weeks ago, DH and I had some beauty treatments by a self-employed beautician who has a beauty room at home but is also mobile. I've only visited her a handful of times before, so we're friendly, but not friends. Before we left, she was telling us about other treatments she does, so DH and I booked in for a massage at our home (DH said he would pay as a treat) which took place a couple of days ago. As we were leaving, DH asked her if she liked steak, to which she said yes, so DH told her that he would make a steak dinner for her (DH loves to cook). I thought it was a bit odd offering to make dinner for her when she was coming over to work, but it was a friendly enough gesture by him. Please note this was his gesture, not mine. I would've just given her a tip at the end!

Anyway, the day of the massage arrived; DH went to the butchers and bought the steak. While I was enjoying my massage, he was cooking away in the kitchen. Beautician ate and enjoyed the steak and DH was loving the compliments.

Yesterday morning, 1st of the month, direct debits due, I checked my bank account and found that DH had transferred £20 less than he should have. When I asked him why, he told me, "for the steak!" I wouldn't have minded but I'm a vegetarian so I don't even eat bloody steak!

Yes, he paid for my massage...thought it was a treat, but it cost me £20 in the end. Still a bargain I suppose! What would you think?

OP posts:
WhiskyIrnBru · 03/09/2021 13:59

@Confrontayshunme

That is super weird. I honestly can't think of a single situation where there is a non-nefarious or unweird explanation for feeding a mobile beautician a £40 steak.
GrinGrinGrin nail on the head.
Polkadots2021 · 03/09/2021 14:09

Adding the wisdom of bodybuilders to this thread. I work in a gym and know a bunch of bodybuilders, some of them live on steak sometimes for breakfast, often around competitions. None of them pay anything like £40 for a couple of steaks and they need the highest quality steak possible, with the lowest possible fat, the absolute best cuts as it really makes a difference.

So what I am saying is that the £20 per steak is a lie. Sure he can go to a more expensive shop but no shop is that expensive. I'm intrigued by why he'd lie about that!

JesusIsAnyNameFree · 03/09/2021 14:16

So what I am saying is that the £20 per steak is a lie. Sure he can go to a more expensive shop but no shop is that expensive. I'm intrigued by why he'd lie about that

Tbf, ocado sells a 300 gram steak for £24. I couldn't eat that much but my husband could, so I would buy 2 if I was making us a steak dinner.

grapewine · 03/09/2021 14:20

The way I read it, the steak is actually £40 and from the butcher's.

This woman must be an amazing masseuse.

FfrothiCoffi · 03/09/2021 14:21

We have a local farm shop that charges £20ish for some of their steaks. It’s not completely beyond the realms of possibility.
I don’t know why anyone would
a) buy one for their masseuse or
b) microwave one

However.

grapewine · 03/09/2021 14:22

@grapewine

The way I read it, the steak is actually £40 and from the butcher's.

This woman must be an amazing masseuse.

Scratch that, reading the OP's latest post that the entire meal was £40.
me4real · 03/09/2021 14:23

Him buying a woman who does massages a steak in return is not acknowledging that this is a job to her, it's seeing it as partly something else.

Hence he doesn't cook a steak for any plumbers, workmen etc.

TheChiefJo · 03/09/2021 14:24

Can you bill DH for your Quorn? Say £20 and if he asks, tell him London pricing.

TheChiefJo · 03/09/2021 14:28

Maybe he does lobster for plumbers.

Polkadots2021 · 03/09/2021 14:29

That's true (I just checked out Ocado steak prices!), although I guess body builders need a lot more steak so know how to source the best far cheaper.

It's a massive amount of high quality steak for a masseuse between massages!

ConstanceGracy · 03/09/2021 15:05

What the actual fuck…

MyPatronusIsACat · 03/09/2021 15:08

@grapewine

The way I read it, the steak is actually £40 and from the butcher's.

This woman must be an amazing masseuse.

Sounds to me like this woman is 'amazing' at quite a few things... Wink

Hence the OP's husband wanting to splash out on her.

Kitchendrama1 · 03/09/2021 15:17

I wonder if she accepted not to be rude?

Tlollj · 03/09/2021 15:17

Surely it was £40 for all three dinners. Op is a bit peeved because she only had chips and salad.
What’s he going to cook next time she comes round you’ve started something now!

Shade17 · 03/09/2021 15:27

So what I am saying is that the £20 per steak is a lie. Sure he can go to a more expensive shop but no shop is that expensive. I'm intrigued by why he'd lie about that!

Really amazing Japanese Wagyu fillet is around £250/kg but I doubt that’s what they’re eating. Top quality non-Wagyu is around £120/kg so an 8oz steak would be £27ish.

azimuth299 · 03/09/2021 16:34

I don't think we can characterise it as quibbling over £20. If my husband sent me £500 per month for bills, every month, and then one month sent £480 I would definitely ask why - same as I would if he sent £499.99 or £100. It's not about the £20, it's just a confusing thing to do.

Having said that everything else that he did sounds even more confusing!

azimuth299 · 03/09/2021 16:40

But to answer your question OP, YANBU. He offered to treat you to a massage, he offered to cook steak for the masseuse - you shouldn't be paying for any of it.

The fact that you bought your own Quorn Grin Grin Grin

callmeadoctor · 03/09/2021 16:41

@BananaMilkshakeWithCream

This is a joke thread. I just don’t believe it Confused
Gin
atleastthepoochlovesme · 03/09/2021 16:43

@azimuth299 thank you! @ChequerBoard here you go!

OP posts:
atleastthepoochlovesme · 03/09/2021 16:46

@grapewine she is! I would recommend her but that would be outing and she'd probably end up with a load of MNetter's husbands' on her doorstep with fillet steak. Wonder if she has a microwave oven?? 🤔😆

OP posts:
ChequerBoard · 03/09/2021 16:47

[quote atleastthepoochlovesme]**@azimuth299* thank you! @ChequerBoard* here you go![/quote]

Jesus, are still harping over £20 OP? Thought it wasn't about the money but your vegetarian principles?

I think you should be more worried about your DHs frankly odd behaviour towards your masseuse. Bet she's dreading coming round to yours you the next appointment. Embarrassing for all concerned.

ChargingBuck · 03/09/2021 16:48

I'm having a mobile beautician round to give me a facial & want to impress her with the quality & creativity of my Meat Tip (ooer missus).

I think this recipe should do it, what do you reckon OP?

DH charged me for Steak...but I'm a Veggie!
ChargingBuck · 03/09/2021 16:49

Chequer, I am awestruck by your stamina. You are doing some truly epic scolding on this thread. Congrats!

ChequerBoard · 03/09/2021 16:56

@ChargingBuck

Chequer, I am awestruck by your stamina. You are doing some truly epic scolding on this thread. Congrats!

Yay! The sock puppet lives!!

grapewine · 03/09/2021 16:56

[quote atleastthepoochlovesme]@grapewine she is! I would recommend her but that would be outing and she'd probably end up with a load of MNetter's husbands' on her doorstep with fillet steak. Wonder if she has a microwave oven?? 🤔😆[/quote]
This is such as weird thread, but I appreciate your sense of humour Grin