Locked Parking Thread 3(!!!))

[BlueEyesWhiteDragon]

You guys need to stop filling the thread when nothing is happening!!

In the meantime I had the most amazing nights sleep last night. Absolutely full of food and had an amazing day and frankly this morning I couldn't care if he's there for 6 months

@BlueEyesWhiteDragon

Hes at the house!!!

Hes at the bloody house!! I'm supposed to be watching DS2 activity but instead I'm pissing myself laughing in the corridor outside because DB is having a conversation with himself whilst clearly pretending its with me.

"They're where? No they aren't? Are you sure that's where you put them? Hang on. I can't see them there. When did you have them last? Saturday obviously when you locked the car in. Have you opened them since then? Hang on. What do they look like again? This might be them. Oh no its not they look wrong. What's the keyfob on them again. Goddammit. What your battery is low? Well can't you charge it? They must be here somewhere. Hello? Hello? HELLO? Fucks sake DS you never charge your phone.

Hes shouting all this all at the top of his lungs. He's sounds deranged.

Whoooohoooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!

@Yesitsbess

Please tell your brother I love him so much right now.

He's an improv actor on top of everything else!

oh cross posted!

do not return home until well past seven....and get DB to pass out a note at seven saying you will be back in five.

@TheAwfuITruth

You aren't seriously going to let him pick it up now are you?

Fingers crossed DB says, "She'll be back at 7.30, youll have to come round then. Sorry!"

How did he get there? Did he cycle or is there a poor embarrassed wife in a car down the road who dropped him off?

Oh this is brilliant OP! Of course he turned up at a time you told him you very definitely couldn’t do, we’d expected nothing less

PLEASE DB! Don't open the gate! CF was told 5:00 wasn't suitable, so make the fu@ker wait!

@BlueEyesWhiteDragon

Hes at the house!!!

Hes at the bloody house!! I'm supposed to be watching DS2 activity but instead I'm pissing myself laughing in the corridor outside because DB is having a conversation with himself whilst clearly pretending its with me.

"They're where? No they aren't? Are you sure that's where you put them? Hang on. I can't see them there. When did you have them last? Saturday obviously when you locked the car in. Have you opened them since then? Hang on. What do they look like again? This might be them. Oh no its not they look wrong. What's the keyfob on them again. Goddammit. What your battery is low? Well can't you charge it? They must be here somewhere. Hello? Hello? HELLO? Fucks sake DS you never charge your phone.

Hes shouting all this all at the top of his lungs. He's sounds deranged.

Knew it!!! Entitled fucker

Tell your DB that on no account whatsoever must he give CF the keys.

But you said you wouldn’t be there at 5pm or ish.

DB needs to string it out. He must be loving it.

Don’t answer the door til 7.30!

DB IS AWESOME!!

Your brother is awesome

CF is adamant he isn’t in the wrong so collecting at 5 is perfectly fine even though you said no, because he’s in the right and you’re wrong

Please pass the popcorn.

😆 You could be at the stables ... Tell your brother to go and ‘get you’ - appear after 1/2 hr and say ‘I said 7.30 I’m working with the horses.’

@LaurieSchafferIsAllBitterNow

oh cross posted!

do not return home until well past seven....and get DB to pass out a note at seven saying you will be back in five.

Or stick the note 'Be there in five minutes - please wait' to the door for 7.30.

Then go to a window that you can see the door from 30 mins later and just look at him, then walk away.

I am happily married but a little bit in love with your brother.

When he comes back at 7.30, and asks to be let out, you must calmly pick up the keys from near to hand, say "yes of course", open the gates and calmly close them behind him, as if this was the most reasonable three-day event in the world.

What a CF. Why turn up when you’ve been told no one can open the gate then.

This guy is such an entitled piss taker id put money on it now that he's a ~nobody thicko~ footballer.....

Your DB is [chefs kiss]

That is all

Would love it if the OP could deliver a coup de gras when she finally unlocks the gate -

"By the way the story of your wanky parking has been shared online across the world. Right now, there are hundreds of women laughing at you"

@BlueEyesWhiteDragon

Hes outside now talking to CF but I can't hear what they saying which is the height of irritating.

I can see them on the CCTV though and DB is doing lots of hand waving!

😆😆😆😆😆

The entitlement is huge with this one.. blinking heck!!

There has to be a reason the DM have not picked this up, at first I thought it was that CF shared traits with the majority of their readership and they would feel this was perfectly legitimate behaviour, not coming from the targets of their hate. However if it is one of their pet z list celebs, or a friend…..

Surely by now one of the WAGerati will have spotted these threads? I think OP should post on Instagram asking if anyone knows this car that has been dumped in my garden and # it Ranger Beast WAGS footballers CFers or even X’s name……

DB is back in the house banging around shouting at DS1 if he knows where the gate keys are as this "guy who parked his car in the driveway ALL weekend needs it now to go to that guys house. You know that guy that played football AGES ago. Football such a wuss game. Rugby that's a game for real men"

Hes text me to say
"Fuck if I'm letting him take it"