Locked Parking Thread 3(!!!))

[BlueEyesWhiteDragon]

You guys need to stop filling the thread when nothing is happening!!

In the meantime I had the most amazing nights sleep last night. Absolutely full of food and had an amazing day and frankly this morning I couldn't care if he's there for 6 months

@BlueEyesWhiteDragon

Second X is name of chap who lives other side of the forest. He used to be a famous footballer several years ago and I suppose would be the local celebrity if any of use cared

Oh he’s grim! He is name dropping his Z list ‘celebrity’ friends! What a cock!

Wish you’d replied ‘who?’

This is so funny. Before you open the gate look him dead in the eyes and say, good job your collecting your illegally parked car, that I told you not to park when you did so.
The park rangers were going to tow you tomorrow...

‘Not sure who X2 is but I’ll be in at 7.30’

This footballer drives a ranger and I would not have known who he was www.google.co.uk/amp/s/www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-9574317/amp/Ex-Premier-League-footballer-Paul-Kitson-50-banned-driving.html

@atlastifoundit

If anyone is at a loose end while we wait, try googling (as I just did):

'ford ranger footballer'

I added in cycling and Ben Foster came up. No idea who he is but he’s a footballer who likes cycling

@atlastifoundit

If anyone is at a loose end while we wait, try googling (as I just did):

'ford ranger footballer'

Ha ha ha!!! Wonder if it’s him… 👀

The thing I don’t understand in all this is what the Forestry Commission would do to gain access if @BlueEyesWhiteDragon is out, if they don’t have their own keys to the gate. You’d never be able to go on holidays!

Wow! Rushed to log on tonight and the update has not disappointed! Cannot believe the cheek of this fella

I would have said can do 7:30 but make it 8 as the Guinness book of world record assessors cannot make it till then and they need to be in attendance to assess the longest fucking 5 mins in the history of illegal parking!!

Hes at the house!!!

Hes at the bloody house!! I'm supposed to be watching DS2 activity but instead I'm pissing myself laughing in the corridor outside because DB is having a conversation with himself whilst clearly pretending its with me.

"They're where? No they aren't? Are you sure that's where you put them? Hang on. I can't see them there. When did you have them last? Saturday obviously when you locked the car in. Have you opened them since then? Hang on. What do they look like again? This might be them. Oh no its not they look wrong. What's the keyfob on them again. Goddammit. What your battery is low? Well can't you charge it? They must be here somewhere. Hello? Hello? HELLO? Fucks sake DS you never charge your phone.

Hes shouting all this all at the top of his lungs. He's sounds deranged.

@BlueEyesWhiteDragon

We have contact. I repeat we have contact!

CF - Hi its X. You have my Ranger locked in your drive. I will call about 5pm to collect it.

Me - That's inconvenient. I'm out then. Would need to be 7.30pm

CF - Can't do. Am at X. No way you can do 5?

Me - No

please please don't let him away with his entitlement

"Oh...do you mean that wannabe 4x4 that someone abandoned in the forest access.....?"

Is it yours or was it someone else who deliberately abandoned it on Saturday?"

you need to make him squirm.

@WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll

Absolutely ROARING at playing Buckaroo with Bruce Grobbelaar.

I'm so glad it's pouring with rain on and off so I can hide I'm the shed at work and see all the casting updates.

”Exactly. We've still got all the customers at the Carvery, everyone in footballer x's house and all the farmyard animals to go ...”

I’d love to be an extra, snarfing down Yorkshire puddings in the back of the carvery scenes, @dapsnotplimsolls.

He has said he can't be there at 7.30. OP goes off for a carvery at 7.00.

Hahaha!

@TheSunShinesBrighter

‘Not sure who X2 is but I’ll be in at 7.30’

This would be the only acceptable message to send, were it not for the fact that, since CF hasn't responded to her previous message, the OP may or may not be in at 7.30 now.

OMG! Make him come back at 7:30. CF in the extreme 😡

Amazing turned up at the time you said you no to (and turned up late even for that)

What a turnip.

Please tell your brother I love him so much right now.

@BlueEyesWhiteDragon

Hes at the house!!!

Hes at the bloody house!! I'm supposed to be watching DS2 activity but instead I'm pissing myself laughing in the corridor outside because DB is having a conversation with himself whilst clearly pretending its with me.

"They're where? No they aren't? Are you sure that's where you put them? Hang on. I can't see them there. When did you have them last? Saturday obviously when you locked the car in. Have you opened them since then? Hang on. What do they look like again? This might be them. Oh no its not they look wrong. What's the keyfob on them again. Goddammit. What your battery is low? Well can't you charge it? They must be here somewhere. Hello? Hello? HELLO? Fucks sake DS you never charge your phone.

Hes shouting all this all at the top of his lungs. He's sounds deranged.

The absolute cheek of him to turn up early!

Entitled fuckwit !! 🖕🏻

[quote Namechangecharlie999]This footballer drives a ranger and I would not have known who he was www.google.co.uk/amp/s/www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-9574317/amp/Ex-Premier-League-footballer-Paul-Kitson-50-banned-driving.html[/quote]
He drove his Ranger back from his mates’ house, which is a whole one street away from his?? What a dick…
Paul Ince once pulled the “Don’t you know who I am?” card on me when I was a hotel receptionist back in the day and dared to ask him for his name when he came to check in. I was 20, and he hadn’t come on the coach with the rest of his team so of course I had not a clue who he was, apart from a bit of a twat. Don’t think he drove a Ranger though.

This is brilliant.

I love your brother OP.

@BlueEyesWhiteDragon

Hes at the house!!!

Hes at the bloody house!! I'm supposed to be watching DS2 activity but instead I'm pissing myself laughing in the corridor outside because DB is having a conversation with himself whilst clearly pretending its with me.

"They're where? No they aren't? Are you sure that's where you put them? Hang on. I can't see them there. When did you have them last? Saturday obviously when you locked the car in. Have you opened them since then? Hang on. What do they look like again? This might be them. Oh no its not they look wrong. What's the keyfob on them again. Goddammit. What your battery is low? Well can't you charge it? They must be here somewhere. Hello? Hello? HELLO? Fucks sake DS you never charge your phone.

Hes shouting all this all at the top of his lungs. He's sounds deranged.

Are you kidding? He actually turned up when you told him he couldn't? Your DB is an utter legend! Has he even offered an apology?

@BlueEyesWhiteDragon

Hes at the house!!!

Hes at the bloody house!! I'm supposed to be watching DS2 activity but instead I'm pissing myself laughing in the corridor outside because DB is having a conversation with himself whilst clearly pretending its with me.

"They're where? No they aren't? Are you sure that's where you put them? Hang on. I can't see them there. When did you have them last? Saturday obviously when you locked the car in. Have you opened them since then? Hang on. What do they look like again? This might be them. Oh no its not they look wrong. What's the keyfob on them again. Goddammit. What your battery is low? Well can't you charge it? They must be here somewhere. Hello? Hello? HELLO? Fucks sake DS you never charge your phone.

Hes shouting all this all at the top of his lungs. He's sounds deranged.

I want DB's babies!

Don't worry DB - I'm a grandma! You're safe

Hes outside now talking to CF but I can't hear what they saying which is the height of irritating.

I can see them on the CCTV though and DB is doing lots of hand waving!

You aren't seriously going to let him pick it up now are you?