Locked Parking Thread 3(!!!))

[BlueEyesWhiteDragon]

You guys need to stop filling the thread when nothing is happening!!

In the meantime I had the most amazing nights sleep last night. Absolutely full of food and had an amazing day and frankly this morning I couldn't care if he's there for 6 months

X - probably a court date to answer for all his previous shit parking decisions…

Be out at 5pm.
But be in at 7.30, you want to maintain the moral high ground

@LittleMissNaice - now I too have that mental image, thanks!

I didn't think about cameras running off the car battery. Maybe not then.

@notanothertakeaway

If he doesn't reply to say he'll come at 7.30pm, you're under no obligation to stay in to wait for him

He needs you more than you need him

^^

This.

He has said he can’t make 7:30. So you should see if there is any one you can go visit at 7:30 (or do anything else you want to then).

If you want to hassle him about when he will be coming could you credibly text something along the lines of:

“Need an ETA as will need to remove sheep/cattle/horses/emus from area so you will not risk being financially responsible for any losses should they escape when you leave.”

Or just

“I am increasingly annoyed at the inconvenience you’ve caused because you were too lazy to drive up the road for parking and think it’s fine to leave it here for all this time. Unless you make an effort to arrange a mutually convenient time asap I will start to make use of the land as we normally do which may mean a long wait when you do turn up in to collect.”

Then let the dogs out, move a trailer in front, etc. and when he comes for the vehicle just make him wait outside for an hour+ while you “find the keys” for the gate, stop to watch a program you always watch live on TV, find the “thing” to hitch the trailer, stop to chat to someone who’s passing, have to answer a call from your brother, find the keys for your vehicle, etc. and call your dogs in. (Of course, you don’t actually have to be doing most of these things while he’s waiting outside but it’s still a faff for you so only go as far as you’d enjoy.)

@HaveringWavering

What reason will they give for not unlocking? I hope it is "We want to see you apologise to White Dragon in person".

Has DB gone now?

"I'm just a houseguest/employee, I don't know where/have access to the site access keys, you'll have to wait for the owner to get back. Does she know you're coming today because I don't know when she will be back?"

A welcoming commitee of disapproving neighbours - or laughing ones. Either would work in this case :)

Second X is name of chap who lives other side of the forest. He used to be a famous footballer several years ago and I suppose would be the local celebrity if any of use cared

I don't understand these people.

Really, is he really not a) worried about his car? b) mortified??

I would honestly love to have a conversation with him about this situation to see what he believes has happened and how he feels about it.

The only way forward now is to apply a corresponding level of zero-fucks given CFry OP, and just act like the text conversation never happened, go on holiday for a week, and don't give any of it a second thought.

I'm dying to know what appointment he has at 7.30 which takes priority over removing his bloody car from the OP'S land.
AA?
Arseholes Anonymous

@ThorsLeftNut

I’m three threads too late but I feel your pain OP. We live on a single track road and people park in our turning circle for the tractors.

We literally can’t get the tractors out the yard when people park in them, and they refuse to move when asked.
We’ve lost many days work due to inconsiderate parking wankers.

I think you might need to trade in a tractor for a large pick-up truck, and maybe use that to move the offending cars out of the way?

@BlueEyesWhiteDragon

Second X is name of chap who lives other side of the forest. He used to be a famous footballer several years ago and I suppose would be the local celebrity if any of use cared

What? You mean he has said something like "Can't do.I'm at Gazza's house"?!

WTF?

@BlueEyesWhiteDragon

Second X is name of chap who lives other side of the forest. He used to be a famous footballer several years ago and I suppose would be the local celebrity if any of use cared

He clearly thinks the fact he's visiting X will make him sound more important so you should therefore lay out a red carpet for jackass because of his association with X. What a dick! Just hide the keys when you go out and if there was an actual FC emergency at least then those at home could ring you and find out where they are. But otherwise they definitely won't be able to open the gate while you're out.

I don't mean pick-up truck, of course I meant FORKLIFT truck. Sorry. Brain dead.

Yea I was thinking him too!

When some scaffolders put up scaffolding on my house by mistake and wrecked my pride and joy garden - literally snapped off trees at the base and flattened shrubs - the Police said though it was a civil matter. However, off the record (I know someone will say they shouldn’t or didn’t but they did), were I to decide to make it a civil case it would help if I denied them access to take it down until they had compensated me, and that they would turn out if I felt harassed by them. Thankfully they were so dim that when they returned they just stood there looking gormless and drove off with my itemised list of the cost of replanting the garden. The next day the very CF cowboy builder who had sent them to the wrong house turned up waving his big dick “you fucking chattering classes with your petty issues making life difficult for the small business” (sure it would have been worse if there had been a mumsnet posse in the picture BUT he had a cheque for £100 and a solicitors letter saying it was in full and final settlement and conditional on me returning the equipment and not taking it further.

I assume that is in line with the mesne law quoted by a previous poster. I would definitely be charging for rent of a parking space and your time and trouble unlocking the gate and threaten not to unlock unless he pays up. That or demand a Carvery on him …,

Lawrence Fox sorry - Thought i’d replied to a PP!

Good thing is that Gazza is available to play himself in the film.

Is this thread going for the longest ever?

Can you not confuse the famous footballer for someone else - optician/AI man/rat catcher? He won't like his name dropping not impressing you

@BlueEyesWhiteDragon

Second X is name of chap who lives other side of the forest. He used to be a famous footballer several years ago and I suppose would be the local celebrity if any of use cared

OP is X on twitter???

@BlueEyesWhiteDragon

I do spectacularly like the way his message is just factual and almost like it happened to him without conscious choice. Oh my god how did my ranger get there....

I am genuinely going out in half an hour anyway and have given strict instructions to all here not to unlock the gates for him on pain of absolute utter unending agony and to either make him wait for my return or tell him to come back.

If ANYONE opens the gate before 7.30 I will come round and kill them myself so that you have clean hands OP!

Actually, I wouldn't be available at 7.30 either. You said you could be available then, but he said no. You are under no obligation to him. Why would you wait around on the off chance the CF deigns to grace you with his presence? I'd go out and make no contact with him. Wait for him to contact again and if he learns some manners let him actually make an arrangement that suits you.

What a self-entitled twat. Don't think he will be apologetic

Op name the celeb 😆

@Theworldisfullofgs

ShamelessCurtainTwitcher

That wouldn't be polite. We just shake our heads in bewilderment or seethe.

You forget that we also tut!