Locked Parking Thread 3(!!!))

[BlueEyesWhiteDragon]

You guys need to stop filling the thread when nothing is happening!!

In the meantime I had the most amazing nights sleep last night. Absolutely full of food and had an amazing day and frankly this morning I couldn't care if he's there for 6 months

Jeremy Clarkson and Caleb are clearly the straw delivery guys. The gate was left open long enough for the CF to get in because Jeremy got his massive tractor stuck and Caleb had a rant about how useless he is before sorting it out for the ape...

@Tombero

I’m seeing CF as Kevin from Motherland. Full of bravado to start, but now too scared to come back.

This

@ShamelessCurtainTwitcher

I cannot be the only American who has read all three threads and has been left in awe at how much the British can endure without shooting someone.

But then how would he move the car?

@ShamelessCurtainTwitcher

I cannot be the only American who has read all three threads and has been left in awe at how much the British can endure without shooting someone.

Spat my tea out!!

We’re much better at tutting than shooting. If only it were an Olympic sport..

I'm guessing he's got a wanky private number plate.

Possibly
TO 55 ERS

Maybe the sister of CF could be the one that got booted out of Australia recently (purposely not putting name)

Out of interest....has anyone suggested a hazmat suit to answer the door in if when he comes back?

Someone mentioned the DM earlier. Beaten to it by this one about neighbours using a woman's garden for six hours while she was at work. www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-9851701/Woman-shock-CCTV-caught-neighbours-using-garden-work.html

I thought this entitled car creep was bad until I saw that.

@giletrouge

I see OP as more of an Olivia Coleman type, all dressed up like a farmer. I agree with Miles Jupp for DB (bloody love Miles Jupp).

No one's prattish enough to play CF sadly.

Boris Johnson for CF?

Op's gone quiet because she and her DB are outside patting down the topsoil in preparation for laying the new patio

Doesn't the OP have pigs?

Definitely James McAvoy for the brother.

Maybe we could persuade Boris to have a cameo as the CF cyclist?

He has several kids 🤔🤨

@PhoenixReincarnated

Op's gone quiet because she and her DB are outside patting down the topsoil in preparation for laying the new patio

Doesn't the OP have pigs?

And she lives next to the woods.

Let's not give game and fortune to anyone who's actually a dick for the CF. Let's choose someone who would merely be good at acting one.

I'm still on James McAvoy for the brother, sorry. Jenna Coleman for the sister? Or Emilia Clarke.

Give fame and fortune obviously!

@WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll

Do you think CF and his goons might have been digging a tunnel in the car park opposite last night, and are currently underground, linking it up to OP's farm? How funny if they get their calculations slightly wrong and end up making the final push before the car falls square on their heads! I presume they're all named Jack?!

The only thing that would have been funnier than this would be if they really miscalculated and came up in the middle of a nice, ripe muck heap!

I can't believe this is still going on AND into thread 3 😂

I think it's time to announce a community Touch The Truck competition. That kind of thing always attracts the more testosterone-fuelled blokey-bloke who just knows he can out-bloke the rest.

That way, you can safely go out, vacate the farm and have as many carveries as you like (I'm seeing Timothy Spall as the friendly carvery chef, always happy to give you an extra Yorkshire pudding or roast potato with a cheeky wink). The plucky contestants will be there for days - maybe even a couple of weeks.

Should chummy toddle along and see a number of big chaps all touching his truck, if he goes to angrily challenge them, they will not react kindly at this johnny-come-lately hoping to cheat to win the prize that they have set their sights on.

You only need to maintain one point of contact, so that still leaves three limbs free for 'disagreement' purposes - not to mention being absolutely bursting for a torrential power-wee

@KatherineOfGaunt

Let's not give game and fortune to anyone who's actually a dick for the CF. Let's choose someone who would merely be good at acting one.

I'm still on James McAvoy for the brother, sorry. Jenna Coleman for the sister? Or Emilia Clarke.

Definitely James McAvoy for the DB.

I suppose Lily James will have to be in there somewhere? No doubt wearing tweed and a twin set whilst staring off into the middle distance and crying.

Hugh Grant would probably have to be in there somewhere - no idea whatsoever what kind of part he would play, though....

I suppose Lily James will have to be in there somewhere? sad No doubt wearing tweed and a twin set whilst staring off into the middle distance and crying

She can be CF wife

There's a calendar in this, I reckon. DB draped over That Vehicle & other farm equipment, hay bales, etc.

"We're going to need considerably bigger Yorkshire puddings!".

What a brilliant idea, @ifIwerenotanandroid! The calendar could be sold, with profits going to a charity - something green/countryside related, maybe?

@WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll

Hugh Grant would probably have to be in there somewhere - no idea whatsoever what kind of part he would play, though....

English bumbling gentleman who brokers peace between CF and op

So glad I found thread 3 i was distracted all day at work because of this 😆 cannot believe it is still there!

English bumbling gentleman who brokers peace between CF and op

And ends up falling in love with Lily James, the CF wife who decides she’s had enough of his cycling and ‘weekend fun’ cars?