Locked Parking Thread 3(!!!))

[BlueEyesWhiteDragon]

You guys need to stop filling the thread when nothing is happening!!

In the meantime I had the most amazing nights sleep last night. Absolutely full of food and had an amazing day and frankly this morning I couldn't care if he's there for 6 months

Another vote for Miles Jupp in his pink kilt a la Balamory!

Can it really be that this nutsack of a man is really just trying to avoid having to apologise? Because it cannot be beyond the farthest stretch of his wits to imagine that the ONLY HOUSE THERE is the dwelling place of the woman who originally told him that he can't park there? Or does he imagine that OP lives in a tree?

May his next poo be a hedgehog.

Leave it until there is an emergency

While it’s there - make sure you have a sign displayed saying the hourly charge for parking on private property - you are allowed to charge for this .

Use strong glue to put stickers on all the windows saying parking on private property and again mentioning the costs and how to get the car released

Make sure you feed the birds... do you have chickens that might wander round there.

@HaveringWavering - are you any good with finding earrings, I've lost a couple of nice ones in the last 10 years? Could provide a 5 (ish) mile radius

I can't believe he still hasn't just apologised and collected his car - what an utter knob!😮

Definitely get the FC to tow it off your property - that way there's no comeback on you if it gets damaged.

@KatherineOfGaunt

James McAvoy, surely, for the brother?!

Ooooh - that's a good one, I like it.

I think we need to hold auditions - this is a leading role in a future Netflix hit after all.

Yes this is all mad.
Get the FC to move it, they can deal with it and he can deal with any pot holes it’s left in

I was thinking Peter kay, because of sense of humour.

Well that felt like a game of skipping ropes... I had to wait patiently for two and a half threads before I could jump in and join the fun!

Here now though clearly place marking.

@Howshouldibehave

Personally I'd just leave the gate open and let him collect the car

I can’t believe anyone who has read the thread and know WHY the OP needs to lock the gates, would write this!?

Well it’s obvious someone hasn’t read the whole thread 🙄 isn’t it?

Get it towed, preferably to a place where it will get absolutely filthy and covered in mud.

Absolutely agree to just leave it now - ball is in his court.

Hmm the guys turning up late at night is very concerning. Definitely report to the police.

ryan renolds?

Anyway. I would:

1. Report last night to the Police.
2. Report the car to the council as abandoned.
3. Leave it where it is.
4. Post official notice that in 14 days you'll declare it abandoned and claim ownership xD

So here we go:

Keira Knightly - beautiful and delicate OP.
Miles Jupp - loveable DB
Bill Nighy - OP's lovely Dad

Bruce Willis - Head of the FC
Ben Affleck & Chris Pratt - FC 'lumberjacks' - all uniform and axes!

Al Murray - landlord of the Toby Carvery

But really struggling with CF! I can't think of anyone despicable enough!

If the CF is reading this thread (or his wife/family are reading it to him) he must be irritated that no-one on here is impressed by his magnificent stand on the freedom-to-park-in-other-people's-gardens :).

Even the car itself doesn't seem to have made the sort of impression he might have expected. (There it is huge but pathetic and boxed in behind a simple country gate and a WOMAN's van :( )

I see OP as more of an Olivia Coleman type, all dressed up like a farmer. I agree with Miles Jupp for DB (bloody love Miles Jupp).

No one's prattish enough to play CF sadly.

I can't believe he hasn't returned for his car. Glad it's not bothering you but I'd be livid!

@Mummylovesmonkeys

So here we go:

Keira Knightly - beautiful and delicate OP.
Miles Jupp - loveable DB
Bill Nighy - OP's lovely Dad

Bruce Willis - Head of the FC
Ben Affleck & Chris Pratt - FC 'lumberjacks' - all uniform and axes!

Al Murray - landlord of the Toby Carvery

But really struggling with CF! I can't think of anyone despicable enough!

Haha I love the FC casting!

Tom Burke for OP's brother and Bertie Carvel for the lyrca clad CF.

CF - Tommy Robinson.

But really struggling with CF! I can't think of anyone despicable enough!

I think Danny Dyer could do it justice.

@HaveringWavering

OMG OP. I can't believe you posted that pothole picture! I have found it on Google Earth and now I know exactly where to find you and have alerted the Daily Mail - expect a knock shortly. That'll teach you to be such an attention-seeker!

🙄 Yes dear, of course you have.

....Not saying that Danny Dyer IS despicable personally - just that he could take the part and work with it admirably.

He really is a twat!

YanTan - think that was a joke love...

I think I'd get the FC to tow it and leave it in the MOST muddy, inconvenient and obscure spot possible, and then post on FB 'Sorted, car gone, thanks'... :evilgrin:

@Mummylovesmonkeys

So here we go:

Keira Knightly - beautiful and delicate OP.
Miles Jupp - loveable DB
Bill Nighy - OP's lovely Dad

Bruce Willis - Head of the FC
Ben Affleck & Chris Pratt - FC 'lumberjacks' - all uniform and axes!

Al Murray - landlord of the Toby Carvery

But really struggling with CF! I can't think of anyone despicable enough!

Wonder if Matt Hancock might consider making a cameo role?