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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

What nonsense do you have to do/fake enthusiasm for in your job?

430 replies

Whatapalavaa · 30/06/2021 19:03

I'll go first. Performance manage based on utter nonsense criteria that I don't really care about but have to pretend to be oh so serious about. Pretend to care about our mission statement and our organisational culture. Yawn. I sit in meetings wondering if anyone else is seriously buying this crap or rather putting on a good act like me. Anyone else?

OP posts:
2ndMrsdeWinter · 01/07/2021 22:33

I can’t say it because it’s massively outing but it loosely involves some ‘best practice’ bullshit and something else about teamwork.

I’d rather punch myself in the face than sit in a meeting and share my thoughts and ideas with my colleagues. Those ideas are MINE and you can’t have them. Now fuck off.

browneyes77 · 01/07/2021 22:33

@Whysolong7

I hate the work do’s with people I already see too much of.

Having to pretend to be looking forward to it and having a good time when I’m there, when really I want to be at home with my kids who I already feel I have too much time away from for work.

Why can’t the treat be having half a day off to do what you like with?

I hear you on that one.

We work in different parts of the country, so when we meet up for face to face team meetings (obviously not since COVID), it sometimes means that we have to stay over, so they always want to go for a meal on the evening.

I’ve just spent all day with you all in a meeting. Why would I want to spend my evening with you as well? Just let me go back to my hotel room, grab a glass of wine and watch Emmerdale in peace.

aGoodHuman · 01/07/2021 22:33

I work for a university. I've had to develop and adopt a whole new persona and political belief system to just survive. I might as well be on a witness protection programme! My friends and family would not recognise me.

I had to order some things very urgently. Asked Finance to just get it via Amazon as we could get it the next day. Finance said the sustainability team had prevented Amazon purchases. Had to wait 7 days to purchase from an ethical supplier by which time it was too late anyway..... I'm not mad about Amazon but.....

Lots of fluffly nicey nice policies and rhetoric. Reality? Like working in a den of vipers.

Grapewrath · 01/07/2021 22:34

My clients like to tell me the far end of their problems and some days not only do I have to pretend to them I give a a fuck, but also to my manager. Exhausting.

FeeFi100 · 01/07/2021 22:42

‘Okbye

Sit through a so very painful hour long weekly meeting that has nothing to do with me or my role and is a colossal waste of time. It could quite easily be a few bullet points on a weekly email (which I have suggested but got shot down) but noooo we all have to smile and nod through the weekly bullshit meeting.’

This!! 👆👆 I’ve started a new role and have managed to avoid the last three after attending the first one and wondering why I really needed to be at that particular weekly team meeting!

OhFFSMum · 01/07/2021 22:44

I don't think I have ever related to a thread on MN more than this one!!

Debbacat6 · 01/07/2021 23:07

I can't care about ( our councils name) Festival of 2050 when the plan is two towns will have become a Supertown and lead the Country with its eco initiatives and flexible living. I do not plan to get excited nor to join in as I will be 89 that year!

crayray · 01/07/2021 23:18

@2ndMrsdeWinter

I can’t say it because it’s massively outing but it loosely involves some ‘best practice’ bullshit and something else about teamwork.

I’d rather punch myself in the face than sit in a meeting and share my thoughts and ideas with my colleagues. Those ideas are MINE and you can’t have them. Now fuck off.

That won't be outing. I expect there are thousands of organisations using the same terminology.
blueshoes · 01/07/2021 23:35

Been working 30 years in various organisations. Thankfully none of them are as described here. Yes, there is some management-speak, but I think people are genuinely trying to fix things.

A bit of 'getting across the line' or 'reaching out' or 'back fill' does not bother me.

Maybe it is because I only every worked in law firms. Where people bill in 6 minute segments, there is no time for bullshit.

Topsyturveymam · 01/07/2021 23:37

KPI targets that are more about fabricated PR than anything which really matters.
A generic Manager that knows little about what I do …and cares even less. Going through the mentions telling her about the work while she plays at being interested.
Going to mgmt sessions about leadership and knowing it won’t make a blind bit of difference to how they behave.
Seeing gold star chasers succeed by good talk rather than talent/hard work/ outcomes that matter.
I sound bitter Grin

DukeofEarlGrey · 01/07/2021 23:58

Yep, work socials. My work is bonkers about these. I have spent the last four years being bullied by a senior colleague and do all I can to avoid her whilst at work: I don’t want to spend my personal time with her as well.

I’m leaving very soon!

memberofthewedding · 02/07/2021 00:06

Work socials/away days/work nights out. At least those of you with families can always have a "sick child" at a strategic time without being accused of letting the team down.

Orangejuiceisgood · 02/07/2021 00:58

I work for an NHS Trust and I am contractually obliged to ‘go above and beyond the standards and expectations set out in my contract’.

Surely just make the standards and expectations in my contract higher then?

Cakeofdoom · 02/07/2021 01:06

Every single fucking day I feign a smile and pretend I enjoy my job - dealing with people whose problems aren't any worse than mine yet I have to sort their lives out for them. Manager is a waste of air, he's probably less enthusiastic than I am and spends most of his day sat on his fat arse managing his portfolio of rental properties in work time. Im literally only there to get paid, I don't give a flying fuck about thr company and its 'values'.

ElephantMoth · 02/07/2021 03:05

Pretending to treat everyone the same even when they do not deserve it.

Damsel · 02/07/2021 07:22

Loving this thread. Great idea OP.

Feel better that it’s not just my organisation that wastes endless hours talking in consultancy-speak about vision statements, buckets & pillars, instead of doing the actual job!

WhateverHappenedToMe · 02/07/2021 07:30

I was once instructed to attend a mandatory workshop on staff wellbeing timed for 12:30 to 13:30 with no lunch provided - which meant I couldn't take my hour's lunch break in one piece within the allotted two-hours span.

I also had a half-day's annual leave cancelled because my manager called an "important" meeting - which turned out to be "I've been hearing that the team is cinplaining it's difficult to take leave; what is this about?" And you cancelled my leave to discuss this?

spanielstail · 02/07/2021 07:37

I hate wellbeing bullshit. We are paid to do a job, just get on and donut without a flipping mindfulness talk) email/ discussion about what I'm grateful for.

I'm actually a bit worked up here just thinking about the bullshitiness of it.

Tossblanket · 02/07/2021 07:38

The Police.

A perpetual cycle of bullshit change for the sake of change.
Senior officers implementing nonsense ideas (that have come before) in order to get promoted, only to be reinvented and reverted back under a different name years later by the next halfwit seeking promotion.
On and on it goes.

Your tax money isn't well spent.

wigglerose · 02/07/2021 07:42

Weekly team meeting. Listening to people drone on about their priorities for the week on their projects. I dont work on their projects and don't need to know it for my job. So, so dull and such a waste of time.

Musmerian · 02/07/2021 07:45

Pretend to give a shit about students’ uniform. I’m much more interested in forging a relationship with them than worrying about their ties.

wigglerose · 02/07/2021 07:46

While I'm here: anything to do with resilience and wellbeing. This could be solved by: paying people more and hiring more staff so we have a better work/life balance and introducing a framework for career progression. But noooooooo let's just have zoom yoga.

Musmerian · 02/07/2021 07:47

@spanielstail - couldn’t agree more . I’m a secondary school teacher and as you can imagine this year has been tough. I also teach English so the marking and assessing workload has been unreasonable. That’s fine but the emails telling me to take time to go for a walk and look at the blossom really get on my tits.

Congressdingo · 02/07/2021 08:10

It can be both. If you are looking at the number of them as in - Behold the field in which I grow my fucks. Lay thine eyes upon it and see that it is barren - then it is a question of number of fucks, and would be fewer.

But if we are discussing the levels in a 'fuck bucket' then we are talking about volume of fucks, and then we would need to use the term less

I guess the important thing about knowing the amount of fucks is to know if your metaphor is numbers or volume and work with the correct units for your specific metaphor. If in doubt? Use either and give no fucks to that either

Fantastic and clear explanation and @elfycat wins the internet today.

AbsolutelyPatsy · 02/07/2021 08:17

take minutes, organise meetings,
why doesnt someone just make a decision!