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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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John Barrowman put his dick on co-star's shoulder

442 replies

Star555 · 08/05/2021 01:22

John Barrowman as Captain Jack Harkness has (had?) been my all-time favourite Doctor Who character. I knew JB has a history of indecently exposing himself on set multiple times, but today I learned that he not only exposed his dick repeatedly but also non-consensually touched fellow actors with it -- like Camille Coduri (who played Rose Tyler's mum)!

AIBU to think that he got away with this only because he is gay? If he had been straight, wouldn't non-consensually putting his dick on his female co-star's body from behind have landed him loads of trouble already? I was utterly shocked to watch the video -- I don't know how I should be feeling after learning that my favourite Doctor Who actor behaved in this despicable manner. Shock

OP posts:
BreatheAndFocus · 08/05/2021 09:49

JB’s behaviour is gross and infantile. As someone said upthread, he doesn’t seem to have grown-up. Being exuberant is utterly irrelevant. Being gay is utterly irrelevant. It’s assault.

It’s not ‘funny’ any more than someone wiping their arse on another person’s shoulder is funny. It’s disgusting and disturbing.

Most boys grow out of this behaviour in infancy. JB has been spoilt and coddled and needed to be put in his place decades ago.

ProfessorPootle · 08/05/2021 09:53

@CandyLeBonBon

Sadly, I’m not surprised by that behaviour. Productions with a lot of young male actors misogyny was rife, they really had no understanding how their behaviour would affect us.

I worked on a tv show about a football team, worst bit was we’d film at a training pitch each week and they’d all have showers afterwards in the changing room. It was my job to collect up the costume once they were done showering, I was the only costume assistant there so no support from others in my department like there would have been at the studio.

There were always 4-5 actors still naked when I’d have to go and start packing up, same ones every week, the normal ones would just get showered, stick their costumes in the bags and get on the coach. The stupid ones would be too busy larking about, would stay naked as long as possible and leave their costume hanging up on the pegs so i’d have to squeeze by them to collect it.

We’d be on a time frame, some male AD would understand and would go in and start clearing for me and hurry them up, one female AD would always come in with me but other male AD would just be on at me to get in there and get packed up. They’d say they were decent when I called through the door, I’d peak in and they’d have towels round waists but they’d drop them the moment I walked in, they thought they were so funny, I’d then get willies waggled a few inches from my face as I was clearing up. They thought it was hilarious. I was resigned to it.

zizl · 08/05/2021 09:53

I'm guessing it had some effect on his career, he went from musical theatre to panto with the Krankies and he was off TV for years. I'm not saying his behaviour is OK or anything, just an observation.

VanGoghsDog · 08/05/2021 09:56

@Sparklingbrook

Ewwww. In the clip in the OP Noel Clarke is really enjoying talking about it and re-enacting it with the microphone isn't he? He's going on and on about it.

How can anyone describe JB as 'adorable' after that? Confused

Yes, that whole clip is horrible, not just what JB did but the discussing of it and NC going on and on about it, acting it out in an admiring way. That woman on the right was NOT OK with it at all. I don't think the woman on the left was either.
PurpleWh1teGreen · 08/05/2021 09:58

Big dicks should not be exposed. I trust JB will be zipped away.

longwayoff · 08/05/2021 09:58

Oh, how absolutely hilarious. What a wag. What a misogynistic, power driven, egotistical fuckwit. If you're defending this take a close look in the mirror.

Maggiesfarm · 08/05/2021 09:59

Unfortunately, putting dick on someone's shoulder is a common prank in the entertainment industry. People who do it think it's a 'laugh'. Yeah right.

I too like John Barrowman and am disappointed. I doubt he even thought anything of it, it's so commonplace. He wont be doing it again in a hurry.

The sort of women who would find it 'funny' are the types who go to hen do's and shriek with raucous laughter at drag artists and male strippers.

AbsolutelyPatsy · 08/05/2021 10:03

you cannot blame noah clarke for exposing him,
that is half of the problem
no one wants to expose colleagues

Daydrambeliever · 08/05/2021 10:05

Maybe she just has different "boundaries" - and that's OK. What's never OK is telling women what their boundaries should be.

VanGoghsDog · 08/05/2021 10:10

@AbsolutelyPatsy

Andrew Lloyd Webber looks so uncomfortable with Barrowman encroaching on his space
He looks uncomfortable at the whole thing, he clearly doesn't think it's funny.

Also, how arrogant is JB that he thinks the cast need his cock to keep up morale???

SnottyLottie · 08/05/2021 10:12

I worked in theatre production for a few years in my youth and this sort of behaviour was rampant. Strangely enough, I was only ever uncomfortable or frightened when it was a heterosexual male exposing his genitals. I suppose that’s because I thought they were doing it to intimidate me or make an unwanted sexual advance at me. Being flashed at by females and homosexual males, whilst making me feel icky (I think penises look disgusting) I wasn’t as bothered as there was no threat of sexual assault and most of the time it was people trying to shock and make each other laugh. I also allowed women and homosexual men to grab my bum and boobs without question, again safe in the knowledge they were doing it to compliment them or marvel at their size, whereas straight men would only do it to get sexual pleasure or try to frighten and intimidate me. It’s strange how we as a society allow/allowed non consensual touching regardless of who the perpetrator. I would have got laughed out of the company if I told them a heterosexual woman or homosexual man had flashed me or grabbed me inappropriately.

EmbarrassingAdmissions · 08/05/2021 10:13

Utterly foul.

Talented showman.

I've never liked him since he went through some wholly inappropriate stuff with a woman on camera whom he was supposed to be mentoring for something.

The misogyny was plain - and it was only tolerated because he was gay as if the woman in question should have known that all of his behaviour was for her benefit. If he'd been behaving in that way and it was possible he was attracted to her, then it would definitely have been inappropriate - so thank goodness nobody should have believed their own interpretation of what the audience had just seen.

He's been behaving badly for a long time and not taking responsibility for it. It's not that he wasn't told that his behaviour was bad but he wouldn't accept it.

VanGoghsDog · 08/05/2021 10:13

@AbsolutelyPatsy

you cannot blame noah clarke for exposing him, that is half of the problem no one wants to expose colleagues
He wasn't "exposing" him. He was admiring him and telling it as a hilarious story. Again and again. Even acting it out. Possibly to help minimise and cover up his own bad behaviour.

He wasn't whistleblowing!

Cam2020 · 08/05/2021 10:15

And from Dr who again people must be thinking it’s a nest of perverts and the like and I’m a fan and have been for 30 years. I bow my head in sadness..

There's the beloved BBC for you again.

I appreciate PPs insight into theatre and 'showbiz' and i do think its a completely different world than most are used to living in and the lines are very blurred in weekdays permissable. That makes it all the harder for people to speak out about uncomfortable and wanted behaviour.

I absolutely believe that this is nothing but power play from JB and totally unacceptable. Not only is he hiding behind a gay mask, he's hiding behind the guise of theatrical 'high jinks'.

Its a shame he's such a knobhead, he's an incredibly talented performer with a great voice.

AbsolutelyPatsy · 08/05/2021 10:18

I am not convinced that NC is full of praise, he even asks whether it was more acceptable since Barrowman is gay

Fernie6491 · 08/05/2021 10:18

@MyOtherProfile

Can anyone tell me who the two women are in the interview? I recognise the one on the left...
Not sure about the one on the right, but the woman on the the left is, I think , Annette Badland (Aunt Babe in Eastenders).
SaskiaRembrandt · 08/05/2021 10:18

Costume is particularly bad as actors are changing but I’ve worked with loads of actors who are completely professional and never make you uncomfortable. The predators are obvious. Everyone knows who to avoid and staff stick together so young women are not alone with them.

I agree! I worked in costume from my late teens; there were certain actors I was never left alone with.

AbsolutelyPatsy · 08/05/2021 10:18

the women are laughing awkwardly

MintyMabel · 08/05/2021 10:18

I mean...she doesn’t seem bothered? It’s all about context and if you’re in company who you know are ok with that kind of joke, then that’s fine. If people are not ok with it...not so much.

The context is, a man took his genitalia out and touched a woman with it, whilst in the workplace.. I can’t imagine someone doing this in my office and it being seen as ok because both parties were happy with it.

Mary46 · 08/05/2021 10:19

Used to like him he got very full of himself on Dancing on Ice.

RickiTarr · 08/05/2021 10:19

@AbsolutelyPatsy

you cannot blame noah clarke for exposing him, that is half of the problem no one wants to expose colleagues
NOEL Clarke is in trouble for innumerable incidents of sexual harassment himself. He hasn’t gallantly unmasked JB’s behaviour. This has come out as a side issue to NC’s own misdeeds.
murbblurb · 08/05/2021 10:23

'not as bad as Noel Clarke' is not exactly a character reference. And why is it more acceptable from a gay man?

VanGoghsDog · 08/05/2021 10:24

@AbsolutelyPatsy

I am not convinced that NC is full of praise, he even asks whether it was more acceptable since Barrowman is gay
Yes, and he seems to be fine with that idea. Admiring of the ruse even.

Do you honestly think this is NC trying to expose JB so he will get into trouble?

It seems to me a way to minimise bad behaviour. Hide in plain sight. "Oh, we're all such a laugh, we are".

EmeraldShamrock · 08/05/2021 10:28

I'd expect better behaviour from a 5 year old.
Wtf is wrong with these people exposing themselves and touching another person with their penis without consent. 😒

Snakeprint · 08/05/2021 10:33

@OwlBeThere

I mean...she doesn’t seem bothered? It’s all about context and if you’re in company who you know are ok with that kind of joke, then that’s fine. If people are not ok with it...not so much.

Context is everything

This