Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

John Barrowman put his dick on co-star's shoulder

442 replies

Star555 · 08/05/2021 01:22

John Barrowman as Captain Jack Harkness has (had?) been my all-time favourite Doctor Who character. I knew JB has a history of indecently exposing himself on set multiple times, but today I learned that he not only exposed his dick repeatedly but also non-consensually touched fellow actors with it -- like Camille Coduri (who played Rose Tyler's mum)!

AIBU to think that he got away with this only because he is gay? If he had been straight, wouldn't non-consensually putting his dick on his female co-star's body from behind have landed him loads of trouble already? I was utterly shocked to watch the video -- I don't know how I should be feeling after learning that my favourite Doctor Who actor behaved in this despicable manner. Shock

OP posts:
Lolalovesmarmite · 08/05/2021 06:06

I remember being very uncomfortable with an exercise JB did with the young women in How Do You Solve A Problem Like Maria. They referred to it as a ‘chemistry test’ but he basically grabbed them and kissed them with no warning. The power dynamic felt very wrong.

SaskiaRembrandt · 08/05/2021 06:22

@CentrifugalBumblePuppy

The theatre (and television sets) are very bizarre environments. I spent a good 20 years in both. You have to form a good team, for what often is intimate work, from day 1. You are at work from 6am until late some shoots; there is no room for the usual office politics. Day after day you may trawl across the country on location after location. You’re lucky if you can put down roots in a dressing room for a few days or weeks if your in a studio environment.

In the theatre you may have a Get In at 8am, tech rehearsal & a matinee & evening performance before you do a Get Out. Week long productions or even longer pantos are very hard work but blissful as you can do the same show over & over.

You bond quickly not only for the sake of getting a good performance, but for security as, especially on travelling plays or location shoots, you’re exposed emotionally, away from your home support networks. I’ve travelled the world in my ‘showbiz’ jobs. You need to support each other & have that support yourself. You have to let your guard down to form a bond in performance.

Couple that with the usual day to day things that are, by their nature, intimate (I’m not talking sexual scenes, but costume dressers, sharing spaces for changing, prosthetics & make up etc).

Add in the simple fact that to do these kind of jobs, as an actor or tech, you tend to be more ‘outgoing’, and in the secure environment you make together, and daft things can happen (I’ve seen more willies than you can shake a stick at, being wangled for comedy effect.

Before anyone storms in & claims this is a form of sexual assault, please listen carefully.

When I started that career in the theatre, as a part time tech, I had just turned 16. In the panto that year, I was sexually assaulted on an almost daily basis by one of the ‘stars’. Hands on groping, rubbing, touching intimate areas. One tech got trapped in a dressing room by another ‘star’ in the afternoon before a show & we had to break a fire glass to get everyone evacuated just to be able to get her, and him, out.

The man who attacked me is dead, thank goodness. My sister worked with me too & has had therapy to deal with her experience with him.

A gay guy wangling a Willy for daft (but stupid) comedy relief is miles apart from being sexually assaulted or harassed.

It is stupid and vulgar though.

I also trained as a drama teacher at 20. I’ve been both a performer & a tech. I’ve chaperoned kids around the world. I’m not a n00b in this world. I’ve also, in the past 5 years as my disability gets worse slogged 9-5 in an office (soul destroying) and I know which world is rather be in. Even with the wangling willies.

Of course, it isn’t appropriate. It’s childish behaviour (and herding a company of actors can be like stuffing fog in a bag sometimes). As an adult & teching as a stage manager, I’ve pulled actors aside for inappropriate behaviour. Heck, I’ve even been part of sacking one or two. But in an industry where the average day is 16hrs, and you work & play hard on occasion, stupid behaviour can happen.

Sexual behaviour needs to rooted out. I have complete sympathy with the victims of Noel Clarke. Some actors think they rule the roost & are invincible. They crave & demand attention (what other career do you get clapped at & praises by the public every day?).

I’m rambling. But you must understand it’s a weird, weird environment. I’ve seen both sides, and been assaulted along the way.

Before anyone storms in & claims this is a form of sexual assault, please listen carefully.

But it is a form of sexual assault, just because it is less intrusive than other forms of sexual assault doesn't negate that. Barrowman was in a position of power and used that position to belittle women.

I also spent a big chunk of my life working on theatres and I strongly disagree with you.

Orangebug · 08/05/2021 06:31

Appalling behaviour Angry

Dustyhedge · 08/05/2021 06:31

It’s completely unacceptable. I’ve seen an interview where he said it was his exuberance. I don’t care how ‘exuberant’ someone else. They should have the sense not to be a flasher and harass women- especially in circumstances where he is in a position of influence and power.

Orangebug · 08/05/2021 06:32

it is a form of sexual assault, just because it is less intrusive than other forms of sexual assault doesn't negate that

Exactly this.

noodlezoodle · 08/05/2021 06:34

So, just checking - some posters are arguing that a man putting his penis on an unconsenting colleague in the workplace is NOT sexual assault.

What. The. Fuck.

110APiccadilly · 08/05/2021 06:38

One thought - even if we accept JB's word for it that it was just fooling around, he didn't mean anything bad by it, no one minded, whatever, wouldn't this sorry of behaviour made it easier for someone else (NC, for instance) to sexually harass? And harder for everyone on set to keep appropriate boundaries?

BonnieDundee · 08/05/2021 06:38

I'm a bit Hmm at the (thankfully few) people who are suggesting this is not that bad. What would you feel if a non famous person did it in a supermarket?

custardbear · 08/05/2021 06:38

I read these recently. I thought exhibitionist as I've had a couple of friends along the way who don't seem phased by their bodies and strip off regularly ... strange I know but it's just them in a group of friends, nothing sexual.
However it's different at work, we had a case of a bloke at work who stripped off in the summer months, he was in a room on his own, but people could get in, did, and saw him. It happened again where he came completely out of a shower room with a towel around him - he should have been sacked but was just moved elsewhere in the company.

110APiccadilly · 08/05/2021 06:39

And I'm not saying I accept his explanation, the whole thing sounds fairly dodgy to me.

HarebrightCedarmoon · 08/05/2021 06:47

I heard about JB years ago, reading it elsewhere on the internet.

MyOtherProfile · 08/05/2021 06:59

What's horrible in that video is the woman on the right laughing and saying "all good fun... I didn't want to say... I was being really polite"

Followed by NC saying any men out there don't try this at work, you'll get fired or arrested.

And the woman saying he gets away with it because he's adorable.

This is not acceptable and is definitely a power thing. Like he can get away with it cos he's so adorable.

Lockeddownagain · 08/05/2021 07:03

I worked with barrowman 8years ago it was well known he did things like that and he exposed himself in front of me several times he even wrote in my book about seeing things with him I wouldnt see elsewhere. But he got away with it cos he was the star turn and no one would have cared if you told them. He was a nice man bought everyone wine and looked after everyone but did that cos he thought it was funny

Maddy456 · 08/05/2021 07:05

Absolutely disgusting behaviour. Imagine somebody doing that in your workplace!

Xoxoxoxoxoxox · 08/05/2021 07:08

Don't these men ever consider that their actions may come to light one day and the consequences?

ThankYouHunkyJesus · 08/05/2021 07:11

Would it be ok if you were sitting at your office job and John Smith came along and put his dick on your shoulder? If not, then why not if he's gay and exuberant?

SophieB100 · 08/05/2021 07:12

How is his behaviour acceptable at any level?
How people can excuse this is beyond me.
I read a long article in yesterday's Guardian about his behaviour on the Dr Who set, it was gross. The only good thing I read in it, to my relief, is that they said that David Tennant always behaved in an exemplary manner, and was a gentleman. Thank god for that.

MyOtherProfile · 08/05/2021 07:12

Can anyone tell me who the two women are in the interview? I recognise the one on the left...

ThatIsMyPotato · 08/05/2021 07:15

Vile behaviour. I don't care if theatres are a different environment to an office. You don't get paid to sexually assault your colleagues in any environment.

elfycat · 08/05/2021 07:17

I worked in an office where the 'gay' man would get away with touching women's breasts, inappropriate comments etc. Right up to the day he decided to pat my butt in the kitchen. I've had a lot of butt-grabs in the past and it gives me the rage (as in I get a fight response and am not aware of my instant reaction until afterwards - I KO'd one man in my 'get off me' reflex).

I pinned him by his throat and told him that if he ever tried anything like that on me, or anyone who I thought might be uncomfortable I'd have his arse down a police station, gay or not. I wasn't quiet so everyone heard me and afterward a few of the other women said that they always felt creeped out but didn't know what to do about it because he was gay.

We were all nurses - I should have reported him but this was years ago and I couldn't risk an accusation of homophobia.

zen1 · 08/05/2021 07:20

He has form for exposing his arse as well - seems to enjoy bragging about it.

MarshaBradyo · 08/05/2021 07:21

@OwlBeThere

I mean...she doesn’t seem bothered? It’s all about context and if you’re in company who you know are ok with that kind of joke, then that’s fine. If people are not ok with it...not so much.

Context is everything

Couldn’t disagree more

You could have any environment with sexual harassment and women would have to put up with it if they don’t look upset.

Pretty much what we want to avoid.

Shehasadiamondinthesky · 08/05/2021 07:22

Its totally a power thing, I've had younger colleagues expose themselves to me "for a laugh", and make sexual comments. I'm 60 so the only possible reason for it is power over someone to make them feel small and uncomfortable.
Mind you it's not me that ends up feeling small and uncomfortable, I have no truck with that crap at work and I will let them have it until they cry.

TheQueef · 08/05/2021 07:25

How are people excusing this?
It's because of JB and others constantly eroding people's boundaries that this shit goes on.
There is even a real world example, look how in awe NC is! He's showing how JB made an impression on him. We know where that ended up.

Fuck off excusing and protecting him, there just isn't a good reason.

Butchyrestingface · 08/05/2021 07:27

I can remember when John Barrowman was not out (early 90s). And when he came out/was outed, I thought it was as a bisexual man.

Am I totally misremembering that? Confused