To be having a (secret) stand-off with DH over an empty shampoo bottle?

[Cheekyweegobshite]

Over the years it has become apparent that removing empty bottles of shampoo, shower gel, toothpaste packaging etc from the bathroom is 'my job'.

We finished a bottle of shampoo last Saturday and I duly removed it from the shower and placed it on the bathroom counter to take down to the recycling. Then I thought sod it and I left it there to see how long it would take DH to notice it.

It's still there. In the last day or two I've started moving it around - I put it in the sink, he duly removed it and put it back by the sink. I put it on 'his' side of the counter yesterday, he moved it back to the sink. I put it on the floor, he picked it up and put it by the sink.

Why doesn't he just take it downstairs to the bin???

Because he has a slave who does such things.

You know it’ll live there for months before he moves it?

I do the same. Toothpaste tubes in particular. Once after a prolonged toothpaste tube battle I moved the warfare from the bathroom and left it on his pillow and he got the hint he’s been pretty good since then.

I know what you mean op. I'm having a stand off with my DH at the moment - only it's with a light bulb. He changed the bulb for a different type and put the old bulb on the side. I said - shall I put that in the bin? - No, he says, I'm going to put it in the garage.

This was in February. It's still sitting in the same place!

Wait is there a new bottle of shampoo out already? Is the solution not to hide the new bottle (ferry it back and forth to the bathroom as you need it) until he is forced to acknowledge the lack of shampoo and by extension that the old bottle is empty? Or do his competencies include finding / sourcing / opening new bottles of shampoo?

I left an empty shampoo bottle on the corner of the bath last summer when I left H (by mistake, I wasn't being lazy or a bitch), it's still there by all accounts, 9 months later . I'm going to have to come up with a reason to go back and actually check now, aren't I?

I use different shampoo. If he has empty bottle there, it's his bottle and his problem😁
I am guilty of having empty bottle of some things in there as well though so...

I think there was an amusing thread on here a while back where the OP built a little fence around a sock left in the middle of the floor by her DH.

This seems to be my job too..

As is deciding when the recycling bag is full enough to be knotted up and taken out. He will just keep cramming it until it is toppling over and everything sliding on the floor.

You know you're going to loose this stand off don't you. Your Dh isn't even aware he's in one with you.

If you have a good relationship try putting it under his pillow and communicate to him that you feel he sees you as ‘lesser’ and that such chores belong to you.

If you don’t have a relationship that good, maybe this is time for a think about whether you want to spend the rest of your life tolerating being treated with contempt.

There is an essay somewhere written by a man whose wife left him over dishes by the sink. He should read it.

I have EIGHT toilet roll tubes on the side over the toilet. They have started putting the rolls on the holder, but binning the tubes is too complex. Apparently

Also too difficult is moving the laundry basket to get under the bath to get a fresh stash of rolls for the undersink store.

I have a similar issue with my teenage son (age 19). For example he will finish the last lolly and leave the cardboard box in the freezer. Or finish the orange juice and leave the empty carton in the fridge. But given he is my son still I rant at him to remove said packaging and put in the recycling.
I do let him know that he will be pissing off any future partner so I’m doing him a favour by insisting now - he will thank me in the long run, and will have a happier partner by learning now to be more considerate and not such a lazy oaf ......

It is funny how things like this develop. We have separate bathrooms, laundry, etc., but if I wash a jar I leave it out as he decides whether to recycle or save for jam making. And I empty the bathroom bins even though he cleans his own bathroom. I'm sure there are more.

I know it’s really annoying but I’m the person in the relationship who does this. I genuinely just don’t notice it in the same way my husband does. Eventually, I’ll notice it and move it and then do a full spring clean at the same time because I have an all or nothing approach.

I promise I have redeeming qualities elsewhere but seem to be blind to recycling. Oh, and laundry. I could happily just get each item off the drying rack each time and leave my clothes in a little pile in the laundry room. Drives DH bananas that too.

@cushioncovers

You know you're going to loose this stand off don't you. Your Dh isn't even aware he's in one with you.

Yes, this. I have similar ," stand offs" and my DH is totally oblivious. I always cave first and get annoyed with myself.

Oh yes I love these games! DHs shampoo ran out, there was a new bottle in the toiletries store but it took him weeks to replace it. He nevet puts his towel in the wash so it never gets wsshed, now thats disgusting!

My DH does this. In fact I think they all do.

I take a pile of folded laundry upstairs before tea, no time to put it away so leave it on the bed to do later. He goes up to bed earlier than me - does he put the laundry away? No! He just moves it over to my side of the bed and goes to sleep!

"Hey, husband. I've noticed that it always has to be me who takes empty bottles, tubs and tubes out of the bathroom into the recycling. Can we just agree that whoever finishes it takes it down?"

If he doesn't respond to this, or reacts badly, it's a different kind of problem. But it seems worth a try as a first move. Passive aggression is rarely well received.

Hide the new shampoo and when he says “darling, where is the shampoo?” You can say it’s by the sink. And he’ll say “no that ones empty” and you can say “what’s it doing by the sink then? Why haven’t you thrown it out?”

I'd draw a face on it and attach some arms and legs but leave it. Next time another bottle runs out I'd do the same and put them in funny positions.

@LaurieSchafferIsAllBitterNow

I have EIGHT toilet roll tubes on the side over the toilet. They have started putting the rolls on the holder, but binning the tubes is too complex. Apparently

Also too difficult is moving the laundry basket to get under the bath to get a fresh stash of rolls for the undersink store.

Omg, this too - although not DH with this, he does actually put them in the bin - but the kids do this in their bathroom. It improved briefly last year when I sent them a photo of them congregating on the windowsill saying "toilet roll tubes do not need to be socially distanced from the bin". But we're back to having regiments of them lined up again.

Who normally cleans the bathroom? Surely it would be moved when the bathroom is cleaned and the bathroom bin emptied. If he never cleans the bathroom, then that needs sorting.

@DrSbaitso

"Hey, husband. I've noticed that it always has to be me who takes empty bottles, tubs and tubes out of the bathroom into the recycling. Can we just agree that whoever finishes it takes it down?"

If he doesn't respond to this, or reacts badly, it's a different kind of problem. But it seems worth a try as a first move. Passive aggression is rarely well received.

Yeah, I've tried that.

It's weird, he's great in virtually every other way (cooks, cleans, shared childcare when kids young) so this is more or less light hearted really.

The really strange thing is that if I carried it downstairs and left it by the kitchen recycling bin, he'd pop it in there without a second thought. It's the stairs that seem to be the issue here

This is a bit odd. You finish it so you put it in the bin. If you want to get into a secret standoff to eventually prove a point to him, surely it has to be a bottle he has finished and failed to bin?