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Original poster

To be having a (secret) stand-off with DH over an empty shampoo bottle?

231 replies

Cheekyweegobshite · 15/04/2021 08:55

Over the years it has become apparent that removing empty bottles of shampoo, shower gel, toothpaste packaging etc from the bathroom is 'my job'.

We finished a bottle of shampoo last Saturday and I duly removed it from the shower and placed it on the bathroom counter to take down to the recycling. Then I thought sod it and I left it there to see how long it would take DH to notice it.

It's still there. In the last day or two I've started moving it around - I put it in the sink, he duly removed it and put it back by the sink. I put it on 'his' side of the counter yesterday, he moved it back to the sink. I put it on the floor, he picked it up and put it by the sink.

Why doesn't he just take it downstairs to the bin???

OP posts:
PassionPeach · 15/04/2021 10:30

Me and my bf have separate 'junk' boxes. If one of us tidies, and say a wallet or keys are left out, they are put in the box so the other knows where to find it. I do 99% of the tidying/cleaning, and bf is awful when it comes to leaving empty boxes in the fridge/freezer, loo roll tubes in the bathroom and all sorts of things like bits of sellotape or wrapping on the floor. I've seen him dropping it. I just gather up all the detritus and throw it in his box. He gets annoyed, but then realises 'yeah, probably shouldn't just leave shite everywhere'. He learns for a bit then goes back to it. At the moment, there is soil all over the window ledges where he has left dirty plant pots there. It's getting scooped up and sprinkled in the box.

DonttouchthatLarry · 15/04/2021 10:33

It's the stairs that seem to be the issue here - move to a bungalow - problem solved Grin

Winterjoy · 15/04/2021 10:34

Ah, OP you've made a 'secret stand off' rookie error by moving it from the bathroom to begin with. Now your DH can feel justified in thinking 'why has Happy moved an empty bottle onto the side instead of taking it to the bin? Maybe she needs it for something so I'd better not get rid. I didn't leave it there so won't throw it away'.

Dindundundundeeer · 15/04/2021 10:38

I had a toilet roll stand off recently. It only took 4 empties, which I was surprised at Grin

FinallyHere · 15/04/2021 10:39

When we finally could move in together, I insisted on finding somewhere where we could each have our own bathroom. He didn't really understand but agreed.

He uses the en-suite while the family bathroom is mind.

This thread explains exactly why (did I mention the hours he spends in there). Life with your own loo is important for a long and happy marriage.

omg35 · 15/04/2021 10:41

Yep, could have written this. I didn't used to mind but I've recently had a baby and obviously she can't hold her head up so when I do have the pleasure of taking her with me to use the loo or shower, I don't have a spare hand to take this stuff downstairs with me. It's started to drive me crazy that I'm the only one who can do it

hotchocandcream · 15/04/2021 10:47

Is this a particularly male thing? I'm single and don't often visit houses that single men live in. However, for the past year or so I've been in a bubble with my single male cousin (in his late 30s) and visit his house regularly. I've noticed that things that I would do immediately, because they only take a few seconds, he just doesn't do for ages. Empty bottles in the shower for weeks, toilet roll middles on the side, not in the bin, etc etc. This is a guy who holds down a professional, managerial level job with no issues yet can't seem to cleanly and efficiently change a toilet roll. He's not waiting for a woman to follow him round and do it for him as there isn't one, so why??

UsedUpUsername · 15/04/2021 10:48

@Connelloni

I do the same. Toothpaste tubes in particular. Once after a prolonged toothpaste tube battle I moved the warfare from the bathroom and left it on his pillow and he got the hint Grin he’s been pretty good since then.
This is the way
Gothichouse40 · 15/04/2021 10:49

If it really annoys you. Sit him down and ask him would he please put his empty shampoo bottles into the recycling when they are empty. If he objects or, if he doesn't do it, Im afraid there would be mountains of them lying there if it was down to me. He perhaps needs a gentle reminder that you are not the maid.

Brendabigbaps · 15/04/2021 10:50

I’m currently doing this with the loo roll! It runs out and he never puts the new one back on the holder! We’ve currently got 4 empty rolls and the current one on the counter top!
Drives me bloody insane!

Lassy1945 · 15/04/2021 10:53

And this
Right here
Is why I love being a single parent

Frees my brain or SO much.... pointless froth

EspressoExpresso · 15/04/2021 10:56

Bin bag stand off here. Upstairs bin, so nothing nasty, used face wipes, clothes labels/tags etc. Asked him if he could take it down whilst I was tidying up one day. "Yeah, in a minute". 2 weeks in and he still steps over it every time he goes in and out the bedroom Angry

soughsigh · 15/04/2021 10:57

My husband has found a way around the empty toilet roll issue, this morning I heard him ask the toddler (who naturally was in the toilet with him) to put it in the recycling for him. So he got to wipe solo!

Shame the toddler isn't yet old enough to carry things up the stairs.

Again, why are people asking about bathroom bins? Shampoo bottles should be rinsed and recycled, not thrown in the bin.

MegaBeach · 15/04/2021 11:01

I am a lady. I am also ‘the husband’ in this story. Judge away! 🤦🏻‍♀️

ilovesushi · 15/04/2021 11:05

I have just caved in on a secret standoff with the wash basket. Clean, dry, folded clothes in the basket at the foot of the stairs waiting to go upstairs for over a week. Seriously everyone must be out of pants by now! No one has taken it up. I have finally crumbled. I know my son will just be working through his swim shorts rather than find and put his pants away!

annacondom · 15/04/2021 11:06

He doesn't notice. His mind is on higher things. I have one the same - thinks all the time about the state of the oceans/rainforests etc, but would run out of bog roll/dog food/coffee, because these things just don't enter his consciousness. He DID bring the bins in last week without being asked, though! (I had to take them out.) I've had stand-offs like yours before, and I caved because I knew if I asked him he'd say "You noticed it, why do you want me to do it?". It means more to me than to him, so I JFDI.

Nothingyet · 15/04/2021 11:10

You need a magic house:

Eddielzzard · 15/04/2021 11:29

Keep up the passive aggression. Hide the bottle for the cleaner, bring back out once they've left. Stack up the conditioner when finished next to it. On no account put anything in the recycling even if there's a bath full of empty bottles. Eventually you'll have to get the cleaner onside to make sure they too leave empty bottles in the bathroom. He will get the hint if he can't get to the loo for the bottles.

waddlemyway · 15/04/2021 11:33

Aaarghhhh don’t get me started on the stuff on the stairs that is clearly meant to go up (or down)! I could rant on about that...

whenthebellsring · 15/04/2021 11:39

@UhtredRagnarson

Hide the new shampoo and when he says “darling, where is the shampoo?” You can say it’s by the sink. And he’ll say “no that ones empty” and you can say “what’s it doing by the sink then? Why haven’t you thrown it out?”
Laughed at this, OP. Normally, I'd say ask him why he hasn't "seen" the empty bottle - in other words, tell him he's annoying you and why. But I see you already have and since this is lighthearted, I agree with this.Grin
LittleTiger007 · 15/04/2021 11:41

My husband does the throwing away, buying replacing of shampoo, shower gel etc. He likes to be organised and always buys new and has it ready so we never run out. I’m disorganised and he’s very organised and happy doing that. Maybe your husband feels that way about you - maybe he thinks you like that role?
Talk to him and explain that you hate that role and it needs sharing. I would do it if my husband didn’t do it. I always did for the years before I met him. Try communicating as he’s obviously not picking up on your hints.

Saddlesore · 15/04/2021 11:42

My fridge often contains empty bottles or jars, because DH finishes the contents and puts the container back in the fridge. This week there was an empty mayo jar. I set out some things for lunch and he asked me if there was any mayo. I said there was a jar in the fridge. He looked in the fridge, took out the (empty) jar. Realised it was empty, AND PUT IT BACK IN THE FRIDGE.

FinallyHere · 15/04/2021 11:47

At least let him know that he needs to take empties to the bin

But if his answer is that he is happy that they do not go to the bin, or not until a whole pile have built up, where do you go from there?

Separate bathrooms is the way forward.

Congressdingo · 15/04/2021 11:49

@AvengingGerbil

I have a recycling bag in the bathroom. When it's full, tip it into the recycling bin. Cuts out a whole set of interactions with the waste product, and a whole world of grief.
Me too but the bag is the toilet roll wrapping. So the whole lot goes in the bin.

I think I've just been in a standoff with the recycling, it gets lobbed in a basket in the kitchen as its washed or the packets empty out, and its been 3 days since it was emptied. I've just emptied it before reading this thread, but its usually DP. I draw the line at the composting though, that is his job. I went out last year to the big composter with our little bucket and saw long tails. I'm never going near it again.

whenthebellsring · 15/04/2021 11:57

My post meant as "I laughed at this (your original post, OP)"...

"And I agree with this (the quoted post)".