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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I don't want to hear about cruise ship holidays.

403 replies

CruisingBob · 03/03/2021 11:13

My parents worked very hard, retired and like to go away on cruise ships.

For the last 15 years they have probably gone every nine months for at least a fortnight, often six weeks even did the epic round the world.

Some have been a bit miserable with norovirus and other flu type bugs. The round the world one lost it's novelty. On the whole they have really enjoyed them, the social side, the whistle stop tours, the food.

We are happy for them, their money, they worked hard, their choices.

But AIBU I don't want to hear any more about them, it's just making me angry.
I have two teens sharing a bedroom, we are working hard, our modest holiday plans were torn apart last year. I just want my kids back in school and free to see their friends.

Everytime I speak to my parents, cruises get mentioned. They've missed two during covid. First it was "wasn't it awful Australia refusing entry to the cruise ship" then worried about deposits, terms and conditions and refunds, then new dates being released, it just goes on and on.

I've said " look for a new type of holiday, you've had a good run, something different"

Their vaccination has just given them fresh fuel along with the relentless marketing from the cruise companies.

AIBU to just not want to hear anymore about bloody cruises?

OP posts:
LaTomatina · 03/03/2021 11:24

YABU, but I don't think you can do much about it. Except hope they'll be able to go on another one soon to get them out of the way for a while! And hope that they have a lovely time (much better to hear about than complaining).

littlepattilou · 03/03/2021 11:27

YANBU to be bored and fed up of hearing about it.

But you can't expect them - or anyone else - to not talk about fun things and enjoyable times they are planning, because your life isn't great at the moment.

Would you prefer it if your parents pensions crashed, and they went bankrupt and ended up on the streets, so they can feel as miserable as you? Confused

poppycat10 · 03/03/2021 11:29

Tell them cruises are an eco-sin and to do something else.

YANBU OP.

Bluntness100 · 03/03/2021 11:31

What is it you want op? Them to not tell you good things in their lives, or to give the money to you instead?

Alexandernevermind · 03/03/2021 11:33

I couldn't do Butlins on a boat, but each to their own. They have worked hard presumably and saved hard, gone through their own financial struggles when you were young, so why shouldn't they be excited about their holiday? They are going on about it as there is little else to talk about atm,l that isn't doom and gloom, except for gossip about Mr & Mrs Markel.

ferriswheel20 · 03/03/2021 11:34

Your parents have worked hard all their life, it's now their time to enjoy themselves. If they're retired, they probably don't have a huge deal else to talk about (especially at the moment!)

Once you've worked hard all your life, it'll be your turn, that's the way it works

TheKeatingFive · 03/03/2021 11:34

I've said " look for a new type of holiday, you've had a good run, something different"

Surely it’s their decision what kind of holiday they take?

therealteamdebbie · 03/03/2021 11:37

@Bluntness100

What is it you want op? Them to not tell you good things in their lives, or to give the money to you instead?
spot on.
Deadringer · 03/03/2021 11:37

What would you like them to talk about?

Daisyhoney · 03/03/2021 11:45

It sounds a bit like you think they are somehow spending your potential inheritance by having so many nice holidays. Like you said it's their money that they've worked hard for and it's up to them what they spend it on.
We've got a cruise booked for next year ( belated honeymoon ) and I can't wait to go. Maybe your parents just want something nice to look forward to - surely we all need things to look forward to, whatever they may be, to get us through these tough times. Don't begrudge them that! 😊

CharlotteRose90 · 03/03/2021 11:45

Do you want them to talk about the kids or you ?? I’m sorry but you sound selfish they love their cruises and yes it is upsetting to have one ruined by various things. Covid has hit everyone hard and people do what they can to cope. Is there a subject you can meet in the middle with? You priority is your children and theirs is living there life now.

Original poster
CruisingBob · 03/03/2021 11:49

We're not a money handout type of family. They did the work, they're choices.

We've had a year of weekly phonecalls all mentioning cruises, none of it positive. They could have booked country house weekends, city hotels with theatre. Food, spas, country walks, used taxis, met cruise ship friends on dry land.

Am I really being miserable about not wanting to hear about Cunard's latest booking conditions.
My parents are not even interested on the rare occasion we have been somewhere before or after them. It's less about the place or the people more about ticking it off.

I can't believe in a worldwide pandemic that they can still be fixated on travelling on a floating Butlins.

OP posts:
Whammyyammy · 03/03/2021 11:51

@poppycat10

Tell them cruises are an eco-sin and to do something else.

YANBU OP.

Watched a documentary on cruise ships and have to agree. Never realised how poorly they operate, dumping used oils into oceans to save money, tax evasion, poorly paid and treated staff , do nothing for the economy of ports they visit. I went on a cruise years ago, never again as felt like a floating prison.
sneakysnoopysniper · 03/03/2021 11:53

Im probably in the same age group as your parents (70s) and a cruise would not be my choice of a holiday. However each to his own. My parents used to criticise my choice of holiday when I was younger. I hate package holidays and have almost always gone independently to unusual countries in the middle east and asia. The remarks my parents made simply made me reluctant to share my plans or accounts with them when I was planning a trip. It did not deter me from taking these kinds of trips. Your parents have spent many years contributing to the community through the work they did and the taxes they paid. Its now time for them to enjoy life in whatever way they choose.

NeedToGetOuttaHere · 03/03/2021 11:54

YABU
I’ve been on 11 cruises and can’t see why that would bother someone.

Shoxfordian · 03/03/2021 11:54

A cruise is not a floating butlins!
Yabu; we’re all focused on what concerns us and clearly what concerns them is their holidays. Nothing wrong with that

Donann · 03/03/2021 11:55

You sound very bitter.

Donotfeedthebears · 03/03/2021 11:56

My parents are going on a Cunard cruise. They still have to wear face coverings in all public areas. Despite testing before boarding and being vaccinated. Personally, I wouldn’t want to pay thousands of pounds to wear a mask on my holiday.

TheKeatingFive · 03/03/2021 11:58

They could have booked country house weekends, city hotels with theatre. Food, spas, country walks, used taxis, met cruise ship friends on dry land.

Clearly they didn’t want to. 🤷‍♀️

Is it so hard to understand that people like different things to you?

BlusteryLake · 03/03/2021 11:59

There does seem to be a certain type of cruise junkie that is also a phenomenal bore about it in conversation. My dad is in this category so I feel your pain OP.

TheBitchOfTheVicar · 03/03/2021 12:00

@Bluntness100

What is it you want op? Them to not tell you good things in their lives, or to give the money to you instead?
I’ve been in a similar situation and I found it upsetting to be excluded from the plans of the whole rest of my close family.

All I said was, please talk about it when I’m not here - which tbf was 75% of their interactions with each other. I didn’t think that was unreasonable.

CoalTit · 03/03/2021 12:04

Some people just aren't good conversationalists. YWouldNBU to find tricks to keep conversations short. It could be worse; they could be the sort of people who think their health problems make for good small talk. Or my elderly parents, who find it very hard to talk to me or my siblings for more than about 90 seconds without criticising us.

majesticallyawkward · 03/03/2021 12:06

YABU they just want to share their interests with you. You being jealous isn't their fault, your teens sharing a bedroom has nothing to do with your parents holiday plans.

Binkybix · 03/03/2021 12:07

People are being harsh - talking endlessly about something the other person isn’t interested in is boring.

HeadNorth · 03/03/2021 12:09

I hear you OP. When we were young parents and on the bones of our arses, my mum was obsessed with going on holidays with her new husband. Pity me, this was pre digital photography and every time we saw her she would have minimum 2 full packs of photos, which she would force us to go through with her in exhaustive boring detail, pointing out every repetative tourist sight, telling a funny story for each one with a tinkly laugh. Even my teeth were bored. Plus, it is mega tactless when you know the person you have buttonholed with your latest tedious luxury holiday anecdote is wondering whether they can delay paying for the electric so they can cover that month's rent. I mean, read the room mum.

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