I don't want to hear about cruise ship holidays.

[CruisingBob]

My parents worked very hard, retired and like to go away on cruise ships.

For the last 15 years they have probably gone every nine months for at least a fortnight, often six weeks even did the epic round the world.

Some have been a bit miserable with norovirus and other flu type bugs. The round the world one lost it's novelty. On the whole they have really enjoyed them, the social side, the whistle stop tours, the food.

We are happy for them, their money, they worked hard, their choices.

But AIBU I don't want to hear any more about them, it's just making me angry.
I have two teens sharing a bedroom, we are working hard, our modest holiday plans were torn apart last year. I just want my kids back in school and free to see their friends.

Everytime I speak to my parents, cruises get mentioned. They've missed two during covid. First it was "wasn't it awful Australia refusing entry to the cruise ship" then worried about deposits, terms and conditions and refunds, then new dates being released, it just goes on and on.

I've said " look for a new type of holiday, you've had a good run, something different"

Their vaccination has just given them fresh fuel along with the relentless marketing from the cruise companies.

AIBU to just not want to hear anymore about bloody cruises?

I know what you mean OP. I had an ex whose sister and partner did well money wise and in one year had 11(!) luxury holidays and sending pics everyday all the while we were struggling for money.
I know you said it isn’t about the money and like you I didn’t want their money I just wanted them to a) shut up about their bastard holidays and b) realise not everyone is in the same position as them

@Reallybadidea

I hear you OP.

My parents have lots of holidays every year. Great, pleased for them, they did work hard for their retirement and I'm happy that they get to enjoy it most of the time. They do however, seem to have lost sight of the fact that they are extremely lucky compared with most people. I had a particularly dreadful conversation with my mum a few weeks ago where the entire conversation was about all the holidays they've booked this year and how annoying it is that they may be cancelled. I am currently partly redeployed to a specialist itu looking after mostly young, extremely sick covid patients, many of whom will die leaving behind children and distraught families.

My own children have missed almost a year of school and two have had their university experience severely disrupted.

Not once did my mum ask me how things are going with work or ask about the children. It's absolutely not about the money (we're fine financially), it's the complete insensitivity of her going on about how shit things are for her and my dad, with no acknowledgement that things are very much worse for lots of people at the moment.

I'm sort of shocked by how outrageusly insensitive some posters parents are, not just to the disparity between their own good fortune and the daily struggles experienced by their own children and grandchildren in this awful period in history but to the wider issues and struggles in society. So much for age conferring insight and wisdom, for some of you it seems to have given license for your parents to behave like total arses and not feel one jot of awareness or care for being so. @Reallybadidea I would have had choice words and/or hung up

Have to agree with the comment that just because someone is loaded at 62-63+ (or any other age actually,) that doesn't necessarily mean they have worked really hard for it. Just like if someone is broke, it doesn't mean they haven't worked hard.

Some (not ALL) people over 62-63, (aka boomers,) have been fortunate to have had big payments from endowment policies, (when they paid out well!) and big pay-offs from work when they finished, and gold-plated final salary pensions. I know a few people who have given their (adult) child £40,000 for a deposit on their first house. Most people I know could never save that much in their lifetime, let alone give that much away!

I have also known a few cases of people (over 60,) being ripped off for £35,000 or so, after giving a scammer their bank details, because the scammer convinced them to invest in a scheme that would make them an extra £25,000.

But their other 4 bank accounts are OK, where they have £125,000, £155,000, £277,000, and £99,000 in them! It's unbelievable the amount of money some retired people have. (And they weren't all in flash, very highly-paid careers either... Many were in fairly ordinary jobs that needed little or no qualifications... They just got bloody lucky, and were in that job for their entire working life, they were on a high salary when they left, and they had a huge payout when they retired! As well as a gold-plated private pension.)

Some pessimistic people might say these people with more money than sense, who were trying to make more money, deserved to lose it. Bit mean to say, but it is hard to have sympathy when people lose money to a scam, when they were trying to make more money!

@CruisingBob I was probably a bit harsh in my first post. Yeah, it must be a bit annoying to hear someone go on about luxurious trips when you are on the bones of your arse. So yeah YANBU.

I agree with a few posters that it's baffling that someone with loads of extra money would see their adult children suffering financially whilst they go off on cruises...

You know what to do when your parents need help when they're older, and infirm, and needing care. Fuck off on a cruise!

@2bazookas

Your parents are older, so they've probably spent most of the past year staying safe AT HOME , going no where, seeing nobody. No sociallife, none of their usual activities , outings, groups, etc. They don't go to work, or WFH, so no office/colleague gossip.

 Has it occurred to you that after a year at home with one other person, your parents   have  zero personal   "news" to talk about on the phone to you?  Except what they hope to do when  they  are safe to go out.  

 Show a little empathy. Just because their generation doesn't endlessly   moan, emote and  dramatise  their lockdown emotional  isolation, frustration,  fear,   doesn't mean they haven't suffered it.  They're just doing it  more privately and discreetly,  trying to stay optimistic and  positive,  instead of  inflicting their worries on   you.</div></div>

I would show them about the same amount of empathy they are showing the OP. That would seem to be about zero

YABU and seem jealous of your parents?! Surely you should be pleased they are out and about doing something and if they want to chat about it then great - saves other conversation and interfering!

@Reallybadidea my friends & I got so much out of those years at 18/19/20, we are really feeling that those kids have been robbed.
I don't think my parents know what years they sailed into New York, it's not important where or when we went on holiday during the primary school years.

Those key years becoming an adult, they influence your life choices and personality. I worry endlessly about my 14 &12 year old but have enough spare emotion to think about others.

I hope this crazy year triggers positive stuff for all of those whose plans have gone awry.

YABU because they have probably had their latest cruise cancelled, I know the big operators are now cancelling cruises up to September if they are international rather than domestic.

Did you get the reaction you wanted Op your selfish boomer parents being self important and inconsiderate and boring you to death.? Of course yabu to complain about their holidays on the internet

Personally, I wouldn’t want to pay thousands of pounds to wear a mask on my holiday

A mask is compulsory where I live and for me it’s now just a way of life that wouldn’t stop me doing anything or going anywhere I would also have to wear one. In fact I’d wear one even if I didn’t have to.

I’m 52, I’ve been on 11 cruises all with my DC, the cruises were filled with other families. About one third to one quarter of my holidays are cruises. I also enjoy English coastal holidays, European city breaks and holidays to places such as South America or South Africa (usually twin centre).
I don’t know why people think it’s mainly older people who cruise, the ships wouldn’t have ice skating rinks etc on if they weren’t targeted to a lots of families.

I don’t know why people think it’s mainly older people who cruise, the ships wouldn’t have ice skating rinks etc on if they weren’t targeted to a lots of families.

You are forgetting the climbing walls that the geriatrics love to dash up. I've heard they are very popular with the over 70s.

YANBU - it's grating, annoying and suggests a tone-deaf selfishness on the part of your DPs.

@Anne1958

Personally, I wouldn’t want to pay thousands of pounds to wear a mask on my holiday

A mask is compulsory where I live and for me it’s now just a way of life that wouldn’t stop me doing anything or going anywhere I would also have to wear one. In fact I’d wear one even if I didn’t have to.

Good for you I suppose!

I only wear mine when I have to, never again once they stop being mandatory in shops. I just can’t imagine wearing one on a cruise or a beach or in the 40C heat.

There’s probably not a whole lot else to talk about if all their holidays are cancelled and their only light at the end of the tunnel is when they can start travelling again. Why begrudge your parents their holidays? If you’re not expecting handouts if they don’t go then why be so bitter about their travel plans? No one ever cares about hearing other people’s holiday stories/plans but we listen politely because it’s important to the person we’re talking to.

Yep. Insensitive and annoying. My parents are the same. They both retired in their fifties and have had nearly thirty years of well funded leisure time and reasonably good health. We will never ever get the same, but I get constant lectures about how I MUST go to x y place or I haven't lived.

They moan constantly about every aspect of non holiday life and quite a lot about holiday too.

Once when I was going through a particularly stressful time and at that point had almost no money to live off, my father said "I know how you feel. I've only got three weeks in England to do the packing between south Africa and Sri Lanka." They can't talk about anything else and are utterly uninterested in my life. Insensitive, tedious and shallow. My best friend has just gone into travel marketing and now she does it too. I've had to mute her on social media It's like there's a detached travelling class for whom real life barely exists.

normalnormas only if there’s a buffet at the top of it!

I only wear mine when I have to, never again once they stop being mandatory in shops. I just can’t imagine wearing one on a cruise or a beach or in the 40C heat

Where I live we’ll be up to temps of 50c in about 3 months and as much as I’m ok with wearing a mask I hope by this time next year they’re very much a thing of the past.

In a couple of weeks we’ll have been wearing them for a year.

Cruises are definitely not like butlins..........................

But AIBU I don't want to hear any more about them, it's just making me angry.
I have two teens sharing a bedroom, we are working hard, our modest holiday plans were torn apart last year. I just want my kids back in school and free to see their friends.

No, it isn't making you angry. It's making you jealous. Teenagers sharing a bedroom or your lost holiday last year has nothing whatsoever to do with it; so basically your gripe is that they should give you money?

Everyone has their losses thanks to this. One could point out that they have infinitely fewer opportunities to go on holiday in the future because they are older, so they have more to gripe about.

Cruises aren't my idea of fun, but if that is what they want and miss, then that is what they want and miss. Get over it. Or be honest and tell them that you are bored with your parents conversation and you don't want to hear it. And if they treat you with similar disdain then don't be surprised.

I empathise to an extent. When in Lockdown 1, made redundant and at home with my toddler, my mum went through about 2 weeks where she went on and on about the unfairness of one of the holiday company's processes of issuing a credit note, where you then had to queue on the phone for a refund, or something. I did explain that Tui or whoever likely did not have the money to refund an entire summer worth of holidays in one go. She hadn't even booked with them but seemed to think that this was the biggest injustice going. Spoiler - it was not.

@Anne1958

I couldn't do Butlins on a boat, but each to their own

None of the Cruises I’ve been on have been like Butlins. Not that there’s anything wrong with Butlins. I had a lovely holidays at the one in Ayr when I was a girl back in the 60’s

I only went to Butlins once, and only because they paid me to work there. Organised fun is my idea of hell.

Having said that, I have greatly enjoyed several carefully chosen cruises . Cruising is as diverse and varied as any other kind of holiday. We prefer small rather oldfashioned boats; and use them as a very comfortable economical floating hotel for coast-hopping visits to very expensive locations ( coasts of Norway, Iceland, the Baltic). Fabulous food on board !!!!. We go ashore on our own and explore ; we have nothing to do with gruesome onboard shopping, photo ops, games, organised entertainments, dress dinners. On board I paint, watch the whales, read (wow, didn't expect the great libraries , no need to pack books); enjoy the fresh air . Cruising is great for an unsociable misanthropic foodie DH is a bridge fanatic so very happy. Did I mention the food. OMG its fabulous. When cruising comes back I'm planning small=ship river cruises down the great rivers of Europe.

I've never been ill on a cruise. Nor have I ever been ill back-packing very rough round the third world (same reason; careful and sensible).

YABU. My parents had 2 cruises cancelled by COVID. The thought of going on them had been all that got my dad through his cancer treatment.

I hear you OP. It's not about begrudging them their luxuries or trips, or wanting their money for yourself - it's about not wanting to be bored absolutely shitless constantly listening to someone else's holiday plans. There is nothing more boring than listening to other people talk about their holidays, apart from looking at photos of other people's holidays.

@NeedToGetOuttaHere

normalnormas only if there’s a buffet at the top of it!

The really inteprid ones even go to the midnight buffet at the top of the climbing wall

You sounds annoyed that they are spending your inheritance.