I don't want to hear about cruise ship holidays.

[CruisingBob]

My parents worked very hard, retired and like to go away on cruise ships.

For the last 15 years they have probably gone every nine months for at least a fortnight, often six weeks even did the epic round the world.

Some have been a bit miserable with norovirus and other flu type bugs. The round the world one lost it's novelty. On the whole they have really enjoyed them, the social side, the whistle stop tours, the food.

We are happy for them, their money, they worked hard, their choices.

But AIBU I don't want to hear any more about them, it's just making me angry.
I have two teens sharing a bedroom, we are working hard, our modest holiday plans were torn apart last year. I just want my kids back in school and free to see their friends.

Everytime I speak to my parents, cruises get mentioned. They've missed two during covid. First it was "wasn't it awful Australia refusing entry to the cruise ship" then worried about deposits, terms and conditions and refunds, then new dates being released, it just goes on and on.

I've said " look for a new type of holiday, you've had a good run, something different"

Their vaccination has just given them fresh fuel along with the relentless marketing from the cruise companies.

AIBU to just not want to hear anymore about bloody cruises?

@Donotfeedthebears are your parents going soon? I'm wondering whether mine have booked and paid, I've just been distracting them with alternatives until the world is a little bit more sorted out.

@Whammyyammy my parents don't give a shit about the environment. My dad says he doesn't pay council tax to sort the rubbish and take someone else's job. We also have to hear about all the 'cunning' ways to get free wifi in port without buying anything ashore.

They enjoy the other passengers, the polite conversation, nostalgia for the 60s.... I can't offer them that, they are not interested in our middle-aged or teen lives. But I can't believe anyone is interested in other peoples holiday booking conditions.

I do laugh sometimes at the 'they've worked hard all their lives' comments. The retired people I know in Ireland who live that kind of lifestyle are probably amongst the LEAST hardworking people that have ever lived. Most of them - the men anyway - had very cushy jobs in the public/state/quasi state companies or the likes of banks, Eircom etc from which they retired young with pensions the like of which will never be seen again. They may have started work a bit younger but otherwise worked far less hard than most 30 - 60 year olds work now. My own parents 100% agree with this. There are swathes of 65+ year olds who did indeed work hard in farming and in other less protected jobs but in my adnittedly anecdotal experience, they are not the people going on cruises or multiple foreign holidays. In many cases they couldnt afford to, and lots like my mother would have no interest. Many in the likes of farming, small businesses etc are still working in any case

@Donann

You sound very bitter.

She actually doesn't. She sounds fed up of constant talk about cruises, which her parents don't even seem to enjoy that much! Which is entirely understandable in the circumstances, and there is a whiff of the 'diamond shoes too tight' about it. YANBU OP, although I don't think there's much more you can do about it.

You do sound bitter OP. They like to cruise, they can afford it. Yes they do sound a bit fixated on it but I can’t see the connection between that and your teens sharing a room.

Yanbu OP, going on and on and on about anything is boring.

My MIL went to Dubai during lockdown and was genuinely hoping this issue with the princess wouldn’t curb any future holidays there.

The in laws have been a few times and I am sick to death of hearing about it. Especially as DH and I have both been working throughout the pandemic on ITU, with covid patients whilst also trying to home school our children. I would fucking love to go on holiday. But no I just have to hear about Dubai and how bored they are. Oh and receive holiday selfies whilst I’m working. As a pp said, read the room.

I'd rather eat turds than go on a cruise, but some people enjoy them.

In you situation it does seem a bit off for them to be boasting when you're having a hard time.

OP, it is not about cruise holidays, is it? You are resentful of their disposable income and their lifestyle. I must say they should be a bit more sensitive given your circumstances are different and maybe brag about it a bit less

@NeedToGetOuttaHere

You do sound bitter OP. They like to cruise, they can afford it. Yes they do sound a bit fixated on it but I can’t see the connection between that and your teens sharing a room.

It is tactless and tone deaf. In any family there will be disparities in wealth but you don't have to ram it down peoples throats. Especially when the subject is as boring as cruises....

Sounds very insensitive of them!

I know “their money their choice” etc but honestly, these are tiny problems, and not worth banging on about to someone with real problems.

Also, younger generations probably won’t get the chance of a lovely, long, cruise filled retirement. So they should bear that in mind- and young people work hard too!

[quote CruisingBob]@Donotfeedthebears are your parents going soon? I'm wondering whether mine have booked and paid, I've just been distracting them with alternatives until the world is a little bit more sorted out.

@Whammyyammy my parents don't give a shit about the environment. My dad says he doesn't pay council tax to sort the rubbish and take someone else's job. We also have to hear about all the 'cunning' ways to get free wifi in port without buying anything ashore.

They enjoy the other passengers, the polite conversation, nostalgia for the 60s.... I can't offer them that, they are not interested in our middle-aged or teen lives. But I can't believe anyone is interested in other peoples holiday booking conditions.[/quote]
Maybe they haven't got much else to talk about. At the moment my 4 kids phone me at least once a week and I haven't been anywhere, haven't done anything. Might talk about netflix or prime. Last week was exciting as I had been to the dentist although as I didn't need anything done there wasn't that much to say about it anyway. They are probably bored to death if I tell them about my latest crochet project.

There’s a crowd on MN who like to criticise anyone for expressing annoyance when someone is insensitive or boastful. “You sound bitter” is often trotted out.

You don’t. Pay this crowd no mind.

The irony is, if you came on actually complaining about a cruise yourself, you’d get “oh what a first world problem”, probably from the self same people! Some people just like to kick whoever is the Op.

My parents would say they've have not worked hard all their lives in order to waste their retirement 'reading the room'.

@theleafandnotthetree

I do laugh sometimes at the 'they've worked hard all their lives' comments. The retired people I know in Ireland who live that kind of lifestyle are probably amongst the LEAST hardworking people that have ever lived. Most of them - the men anyway - had very cushy jobs in the public/state/quasi state companies or the likes of banks, Eircom etc from which they retired young with pensions the like of which will never be seen again. They may have started work a bit younger but otherwise worked far less hard than most 30 - 60 year olds work now. My own parents 100% agree with this. There are swathes of 65+ year olds who did indeed work hard in farming and in other less protected jobs but in my adnittedly anecdotal experience, they are not the people going on cruises or multiple foreign holidays. In many cases they couldnt afford to, and lots like my mother would have no interest. Many in the likes of farming, small businesses etc are still working in any case

What @theleafandnotthetree said.

Out of interest, all the people who think OP is BU - is this something you would do when your own DC are adults if they are struggling?

I don't mean simply enjoying your hard earned savings and leisure time, obviously there's nothing unreasonable about that, but if you knew your DC were skint, exhausted and fed up, would you still spend a year moaning to them about your holiday plans? I bloody wouldn't!

@CruisingBob

My parents would say they've have not worked hard all their lives in order to waste their retirement 'reading the room'.

I dont want to be rude and I'm sure you love your parents but they sound awful and so self absorbed. I read things like this and am grateful for my very grounded parents who don't seem to have had an empathy bypass when they retired.

Yanbu. Would drive me crackers. Tbf there were a couple I knew through slimming world. They said once you've done one you are bombarded with offers, bargain prices, late availability, upgrades, free on board spends. I reckon they did 4/5 a year! And did slimming world the rest of the time.
They also made friends and arranged to go on the same jaunts. Tbh I can see why people do it.
I'm sick as a dog the minute I leave dry land.....
But if my parents did this it would drive me crackers!

Don’t take your frustrations out on your parents. They will have had their own worries and issues, this is there way of coping

Just nod, say mmm that’s nice and change the subject

Let them enjoy it, it’s not your scene but it’s probably nicer than you’re suggesting

They sound awful, self centered arses to me. What would happen if you said "look, just shut up about the bloody cruises".

I couldn't do Butlins on a boat, but each to their own

None of the Cruises I’ve been on have been like Butlins. Not that there’s anything wrong with Butlins. I had a lovely holidays at the one in Ayr when I was a girl back in the 60’s

I hear you OP.

My parents have lots of holidays every year. Great, pleased for them, they did work hard for their retirement and I'm happy that they get to enjoy it most of the time. They do however, seem to have lost sight of the fact that they are extremely lucky compared with most people. I had a particularly dreadful conversation with my mum a few weeks ago where the entire conversation was about all the holidays they've booked this year and how annoying it is that they may be cancelled. I am currently partly redeployed to a specialist itu looking after mostly young, extremely sick covid patients, many of whom will die leaving behind children and distraught families.

My own children have missed almost a year of school and two have had their university experience severely disrupted.

Not once did my mum ask me how things are going with work or ask about the children. It's absolutely not about the money (we're fine financially), it's the complete insensitivity of her going on about how shit things are for her and my dad, with no acknowledgement that things are very much worse for lots of people at the moment.

Your parents are older, so they've probably spent most of the past year staying safe AT HOME , going no where, seeing nobody. No sociallife, none of their usual activities , outings, groups, etc. They don't go to work, or WFH, so no office/colleague gossip.

 Has it occurred to you that after a year at home with one other person, your parents   have  zero personal   "news" to talk about on the phone to you?  Except what they hope to do when  they  are safe to go out.  

 Show a little empathy. Just because their generation doesn't endlessly   moan, emote and  dramatise  their lockdown emotional  isolation, frustration,  fear,   doesn't mean they haven't suffered it.  They're just doing it  more privately and discreetly,  trying to stay optimistic and  positive,  instead of  inflicting their worries on   you.

Tbf there were a couple I knew through slimming world. They said once you've done one you are bombarded with offers, bargain prices, late availability, upgrades, free on board spend

I’ve never been bombarded with information regarding any of the above and if I want to go on a cruise all it takes is one phone call to the Cruise company and it’s booked within minutes.

I think the couple you met had signed up to be informed of special offers etc so it’s a bit ridiculous that they then complained about it.

@SpiderinaWingMirror I think the marketing, even in a global pandemic, is relentless. During the summer, there was a massive heap of brochures, then two more arrived that day with the postman.

I think I'm just a futile tiny voice suggesting caution when spending a lot of money on a holiday vulnerable to global events.