I don't want to hear about cruise ship holidays.

[CruisingBob]

My parents worked very hard, retired and like to go away on cruise ships.

For the last 15 years they have probably gone every nine months for at least a fortnight, often six weeks even did the epic round the world.

Some have been a bit miserable with norovirus and other flu type bugs. The round the world one lost it's novelty. On the whole they have really enjoyed them, the social side, the whistle stop tours, the food.

We are happy for them, their money, they worked hard, their choices.

But AIBU I don't want to hear any more about them, it's just making me angry.
I have two teens sharing a bedroom, we are working hard, our modest holiday plans were torn apart last year. I just want my kids back in school and free to see their friends.

Everytime I speak to my parents, cruises get mentioned. They've missed two during covid. First it was "wasn't it awful Australia refusing entry to the cruise ship" then worried about deposits, terms and conditions and refunds, then new dates being released, it just goes on and on.

I've said " look for a new type of holiday, you've had a good run, something different"

Their vaccination has just given them fresh fuel along with the relentless marketing from the cruise companies.

AIBU to just not want to hear anymore about bloody cruises?

Or do you just fume in a passive-aggressive way and then come onto Mumsnet to bitch about them?

You could say that about most threads.

YANBU - it's about sensitivity isn't it? In non-Covid times my in-laws went on an AI holiday every six weeks and sent us photos every day of them enjoying cocktails on the beach. On truly shitty days with small kids, a full time job, the usual money problems etc it didn't feel like a very kind thing to do. Last summer, when things loosened up, instead of visiting any of their children and grandchildren, they flew straight off on a luxury holiday - there the first day that the resort opened.

Since then there's been a lot of talk about new holidays to be booked (bearing in mind we're a flight away from them too and they've never proposed visiting us - haven't seen their grandchildren in over a year). We listen and engage but it does feel like a world away from our lives right now, and they show very little reciprocal interest in us.

From lockdown weight gain to "fat-shaming" eh? Now there's a leap.

@MintyMabel

Even when the UK is vaccinated, the rest of the world will mostly not be

If her parents are vaccinated, what's the problem?

That sentence followed a query about the risk of Diamond Princess situations.

If much of the world is not vaccinated, there is always a risk of the ship getting quarantined in a dock or out at sea somewhere due to local restrictions/local outbreaks/ship outbreaks.

I don't have an opinion on other people's cruising holiday plans but would be very wary myself due to those risks.

@Maryann1975 thankfully most parents I know are like you. These threads really seem to wind people up, maybe they are like the OPs parents 😆

I time phone calls for ten to 15 minutes before a tv programme I know they will want to watch, I literally hear their tone change as it gets closer and closer.
That's very impressive! It does sound as if you have a lot more emotional intelligence than your parents.

[quote CruisingBob]@deplorabelle we're just on terms and conditions at the moment, but the clothes and the packing is always a whole other long running drama. 😁
My parents have at least 4 double wardrobes plus at least 12 double drawers of clothing plus what is vacuum packed under two double beds.

A big part of their cruising joy is picking out 'outfits' for cruise events.

But if they do manage to get on a boat before the department store changing rooms re open that will be another massive headache. I might point out the lock down weight gain /clothes dilemma next call. That's a whole new inspirational path.[/quote]
The kinds of cruises I've been on there is no dress code other than the usual no shorts in the dining room. No need for formal clothes of any kind.

sorry @Maryann1975 that was for @DaphneduM although you are also on the same page!

@BIWI

Those of you who have apparently tone-deaf, insensitive parents - do you ever say anything to them? Or do you just fume in a passive-aggressive way and then come onto Mumsnet to bitch about them?

In the case of my mum and the endless holiday snaps, it was passive aggressive fuming on my part. I look back and wonder why I endured it and didn't say anything, but I was still pretty young and she was my mum, I guess.

Anyway, however expensive her holidays were, they were spent with her vile, alcoholic boor of a husband. I think part of ramming the snaps down my throat was trying to convince herself and me that she had made the right choice leaving my dad for him. Deep, eh?

Partly @BIWI because like you I've been here for years and I thank you for your service to low-carb.

As you know Mumsnet often ends up as therapy, so I started today thinking 'must phone my mum tonight, can't bear it if she starts talking about cruises again, aibu'

The answer is partly yes, tough times, suck it up but the deeper answer is what do my emotional responses say about my relationship to myself and my parents. Am I jealous, needy, attention seeking, rebellious, unfilled, meek, dull, unadventurous, empathetic...... And I'm not sure that me thanking Cod for potty training advice 12 years ago is relavent.

Either stop speaking to them as much cos clearly the convo is boring and draining for you or just say mum is there nothing els to talk about than cruises

@KonTikki

Cruise ship holidays are for the brain dead. Ghastly things.

I've never fancied a skiing holiday, but don't feel the need to abuse those who do like them.

I don't think you sound bitter OP, I think your parents sound bloody tedious. Don't they give a shit about the terrible environmental impact of cruises? People are just willfully ignorant, choosing to ignore the awful effect they have on marine life and I dread to think how much food gets chucked away. All this 'it's their money' blah blah, you hear all the time to justify all sorts of crap behavior which directly impacts other people. Reminds me of the thread a while back about SUV's. Same sort of thing, everyone keen on their individual rights - no sense of collective responsibility.

Do you think your teens sharing a bedroom has something to do with your parents going on cruises?

It's not the OP who sounds bitter on this thread imo.

She's just having a moan about her mum.

[quote CruisingBob]@JesusInTheCabbageVan that little film is wonderful, I felt quite tearful. The dad is so happy, all the time, just sat there, looking out, even the hail doesn't faze him.

I think my parents are probably not very nice people at heart. They would have blamed me for lending them complicated electronics, moaned about the perfectly lovely people in the background playing cards. Talked about the grey skies and featureless landscape. Worked out how they would have designed the stations so that there was better views for their convenience.

My greatest act of teen/ mid life rebellion is to not be like them, DH & my DDs are a funny, calm bunch.[/quote]
I think this is the crux of it. Plenty of retired parents go on lovely holidays but are also fully capable of recognising their children's struggles and being sensitive. I suspect they always were like this and your parents were always like they are.
I love your last sentence, we could benefit from such rebellion to one extent or another.

@BIWI

Those of you who have apparently tone-deaf, insensitive parents - do you ever say anything to them? Or do you just fume in a passive-aggressive way and then come onto Mumsnet to bitch about them?

Unfortunately that conversation is not possible. Talking about any feelings at all isn't allowed (and it would be very outing to give some examples but this has caused big problems in difficult times - think forbidding anyone in the family to talk about someone terminally ill) and their emotional intelligence is so low that the 'best' outcome would be a very pointed refusal ever to discuss the subject again, and that clearly isn't a resolution anyone would be happy with. They are not bad people by nature at all, but there's a sort of sensitivity chip missing.

I don't feel bad expressing fellow feeling with someone on MN given how difficult it can be to deal with.

They forget though. I tell my mum I don't want to hear about the traffic in the Metz one way system. But she's forgotten by the next time.

My father is now too ill to leave the country. So it will now be the one way system in Bath.

It's not the OP who sounds bitter on this thread imo.

She's just having a moan about her mum.

You can moan about friends, colleagues, siblings, inlaws, dc, partners but parents for some reason always results in posters telling the OP they are bitter, jealous, etc. Odd.

daDUMdadaDUMdadaDUM ' Cruises are the worst, lowest form of holidays imaginable ' - been on any have you ? Cruises are expensive and people who go on them usually love them for the ease of travel to multiple locations without the hassle of flights, and packing/unpacking. The food is great and they are just a great way to holiday. Obviously they aren't for everyone but can you back your comment up or are you just totally insulting something you've never done so therefore have no idea what you're talking about ?
As for being ashamed due to damage to the environment , do you seriously think flying is any better ? Everything we do comes at a cost to the environment in some way. You're just a complete idiot .

My ex in-laws were like this but thankfully we didn't see them too often. They like to 'film' everything too and we have to sit and watch it. They were on one cruise where norovirus hit and the film was dire - lots of gazing out to sea/land talking about the country which they were not allowed to disembark to! I'm ashamed to say that I got the giggles, then everyone else joined in. They got the hint. If it had been their first cruise, I'd have felt awful for them but they've been on dozens.
I don't mind hearing about people's holiday plans in general, especially if it's somewhere I haven't been to but you don't need every single detail and for it to be brought up every time you see them.
Sorry OP, they sound self-absorbed and if it was me, I'd tell them, if being subtle about it doesn't work.

@DaphneduM

OP - you have my sympathies and speaking as a boomer here!!!! The selfishness of some of my age group is incredible. Yes, of course we've all worked hard, etc. etc. but we have had the most beneficial economic climate ever in terms of employment, pensions, housing wealth etc. I can't understand why boomers wouldn't want to help out their children when things are tough. We don't go in for cruises or expensive holidays - our choice, we prefer Uk and Europe. We gave our children their house deposit, paid for their wedding in full and often help out with bits of cash for things like broken household appliances, or when things are obviously tight. They work hard but don't have massive disposable income. Contrast this with the in-laws who have a house worth double ours but no help is ever forthcoming. We also do childcare a few times a week - our total joy and pleasure - so that saves nursery fees. In pre-Covid times we also volunteered too. Bearing in mind the economy has pretty much shut down to protect our age group and beyond, the least we can do is offer support where we can.

Can you adopt me 🙏🏼

Stop being jealous. It's not good for you.

YANBU

I know someone like this. Her infatuation is spa breaks. Goes on 5/6 a year.

All conversation is devoted to this topic. Starts with (in detail plus pictures) how wonderful the last break was. Few weeks later which break she's booking now and the virtue of one location over another. Then what treatments she's going to have and how excited she is. Rinse and repeat.

I'm not jealous I'm simply not interested in having a 15 minute conversation (or rather being talked at) about the merits of treatment x over treatment y.

Like your parents she's also tone deaf to listening to anyone else and whist expecting a devoted audience for her pursuits takes no interest at all in anything anybody else has planned/done - that conversation (eg if someone casually mentions booking a holiday) is simply used as a segway into talking about her spa breaks again.

I think posters criticising you are missing the point. It's not about the cruises or being jealous it's the constant droning on about a single topic in mind numbing detail and expecting a enthusiastic audience whilst talking zero interest in anyone else. It's like Chinese water torture.

I know exactly what you mean op, it is in very poor taste for the well-off to be constantly rubbing their good fortune in the faces of the lesser. Especially coming from the retired generations. "Worked all their lives"? Remind me how long a retirement some of these people have had, and who is paying for it?